Favorite TV quotes

[Woofer]

Here's a thread for us to post our favorite quotes from TV shows. I'll start us off with two classics from King of the Hill:

Hank Hill: I almost spit out beer!

Hank Hill: Peggy... I- I- can't shoot.
Peggy Hill: Well I still love you.

[razz]

you realize i must now type out the entire script to every doctor who episode, do you not?

[Woofer]

It's all part of my evil plan. Muha. Muhaha. Muhahahahahahahahaha!

[fernandito]

"All things must pass, not even The Dragon-balls last forever."


-Dragon Ball Z

[razz]

brb.
to wikiquote!

[VastOne]

hey Little Buddy!

Gilligan's Island

[VastOne]

Jim: Wait, didn't you say that kid Dylan was playing with him? Well, how could he see him?

Melinda: Kids can almost always see spirits. Where do you think imaginary friends come from?

Ghost Whisperer

[Bluenose]

"George, I'm gonna need a hacksaw"

"Stop or I'll call the Police!"
<pointing gun at her> "Lady I am the Police."

"Shoot him again. In the head."

Jack Bauer, 24

"You think I only want you for your information?"

Michelle Dessler, 24

"The man has more lives than a cat"

Ramon Salazar about Jack, 24.

I loved that show. Shame they had to wreck it....

[fernandito]

"With that one blow, Kakarot has proven himself to be the strongest Saiyan I've ever known, perhaps any Saiyan in a thousand years! And I, The Prince of All Saiyans, have somehow become this Paupers witness. I'm the only one who understands what he's become, even better than he understands it himself - Kakarot has become a Super Saiyan!!"

-DBZ

[VastOne]

Deep Throat: Mister Mulder, why are those like yourself, who believe in the existence of extraterrestrial life on Earth, not entirely dissuaded by all the evidence to the contrary?

Mulder: Because, all the evidence to the contrary is not entirely dissuasive.

Deep Throat: Precisely.

Mulder: They're here, aren't they?

Deep Throat: Agent Mulder, they've been here for a long, long time.

X-Files

[Woofer]

From That 70s Show:

Red Foreman: I need cold compresses and a Bloody Mary. Quick!!!

[VastOne]

Samantha: Mother, Darrin's off today.

Endora: I think you're just noticing it for the first time.

Bewitched

[fernandito]

"The situation is a bit....blue."


--Fez in That 70's Show. :D

[The Lady of Shadows]

yeah man, i tell ya what, man. yhat dang ol' Internet, man. you just go on there and point and click. talk about w-w-dot-w-com. an' lotsa nekkid chicks on there, man. click click click click click. it's real easy, man.

boomhauer
king of the hill

[The Lady of Shadows]

south park (back when it was funny)

Cartman: I would never let a woman kick my ass. If she tried something, I'd be like "Hey, get your bitch-ass back in the kitchen and make me some pie!"
+
+
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Cartman: Go back to Endor, you stupid wookie!
Kyle: Wookies don't live on Endor.
+
+
+
Cartman: You gotta respect my authora-tah!
+
+
+
Officer Barbrady: Yes, at first I was happy to be learning how to read. It seemed exciting and magical, but then I read this: Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand. I read every last word, and because of this shit, I am never reading again.
+
+
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and for cozener some lines from Ike's Wee Wee:

Dr. Shwartz: We're not going to cut it off! We're just going to snip it to make it bigger!
+
+
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Cartman: Screw you guys! I don't wanna be in your crazy penis-chopping family!

[VastOne]

[Sam has Leaped into a robber sentenced to death by electrocution]

Al: Sam, you're going to die on May 14th. That's in two days.

Sam: I know that Al! Why?

Al: Why? Well, probably because you can't live with two thousand volts of electricity going through your body!

Quantum Leap

[VastOne]

Cartman....I'm sailing away, set an open course for the virgin sea.....

[educatedlady]

you realize i must now type out the entire script to every doctor who episode, do you not?

That will be brilliant. I would post some doctor quotes as well but if you're going to do entire scripts then I'm sure you'll cover them. :)

[Woofer]

Any nickname quoted by Sawyer on LOST or Dr. Cox on Scrubs.

[fernandito]

Jefferson : "Al, you know what you are? You're a Bundy...and if you put at D where the N is you're a Buddy."
[Audience : "Awww"]
Al : "And if you put an N where the D is I'm a Bunny, what's your point?"



-Married... With Children

[Girlystevedave]

Just heard this one. I don't think I've ever related to a quote this much.

Hank Hill: "I don't have a problem with anger. I have a problem with idiots."
:lol:

[Girlystevedave]

Seinfeld
George: I hate birthdays. You have a bunch of people in your house and you're thinking 'These are my friends'?
Jerry: Every day is my birthday.

[jayson]

George: "I can sense the slightest human suffering."
Jerry: "Are you sensing anything right now?"

[SigTauGimp]

Futurama:
FRY:What's so wonderful about Leela being normal?The rest of us aren't normal,and that's what makes us great.Like Dr.Zoidberg.He's a weird monster who smells like he eats garbage, and does.
ZOIDBERG: Damn right!
FRY:And the Professor is a senile,amoral,crackpot.
PROFESSOR:Oohhhh Eehhhh Aahhhh.
FRY:Hermes is a rastifarian accountant.
HERMES:Tali me banana.
FRY:Amy is a clutz from Mars.
AMY: (glass breaks)Gloop!
PROFESSOR:And Fry,you've got that brain thing.
FRY:I already did!

(The ending makes me giggle every time.):rock:

[Jon]

"Idiots are fun, no wonder every village wants one."

-House M.D.

[ClicheGuevara]

American Dad

Francine: Stan, have you been eating the cookie dough again?
Stan: Why, is there still some on my face?
Francine: No.
Stan: Then no.

[sleeplessdwarf]

I will paraphrase since I am have a bit to drink. The topic says tv but did not say it could not be a movie.

When you find yourself alone, riding in green fields with the sun on your face, do not be troubled. For you are in Elysium and you are already dead

[Jon]

LOVE the AV, dwarf!

[Girlystevedave]

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

Charlie: Look man, I don't know how you guys do things in, what was it?
Mac: Israel!
Charlie: Israel, or whatever, but this is America! You can't just come in here and steal our land from us.
Ari: I'm pretty sure that's how this country was founded in the first place.
Charlie: What are you saying?
Mac: OK, I don't even—I don't know what that means. Does anybody know what that—OK, if you're talking shit about America, man, we are gonna kick your ass.

[BROWNINGS CHILDE]

Family Guy

Stewie (After Lois has wrecked one of his maniacal inventions)
"Damn it, you vile woman.
You have impeded my work from the day that I escaped from you wretched womb."

[DoctorDodge]

The 4th Doctor: You know there's something very odd going on. You remember that man who was following us? Well he's standing right behind me, pointing a gun at my back.

And all in the most casual way possible. Genius.

[DoctorDodge]

Mal: Next time you wanna stab me in the back, have the balls to do it to my face!

Firefly

Malcolm Reynolds. Legend!

[sarajean]

"say, your coat's kind of a brownish colour."---firefly

"hey, buddy, put the mouse back in the house, this is a family place."---friends

"i know for a FACT that that is ridiculous."---fringe

"bears. beets. battlestar galactica."---the office

"who put cookies in his mouth?! you're not supposed to do that!"---seinfeld

[Iwritecode]

"Let's rock!"
- Al Bundy


"Can I get a whoa Jablonsky!"
- Norman Jablonsky (AKA Jefferson)


Ol' McBundy had a farm, B-U-N-D-Y.
And on this farm there was no wife, B-U-N-D-Y.
With a no wife here, and no kids there,
And a hooker coming over on Friday night,
Big hooters with a pizza and a beer there,
Old McBundy had a farm, B-U-N-D-Y!
- Al Bundy


BURN!
- Keslo, That 70's Show

[DoctorDodge]

Tim: What?!?
Thug: You know what!
Tim: No, I do not know what!
Thug: Take a wild guess!
Tim: Is this because i sang that Kia Ora advert?

- Spaced

[obscurejude]

"Being miserable doesn't make you special. It just makes you miserable."

-Wilson to House

[jayson]

Here's the one I thought you should use for your sig Ryan...

"The blonde girl who lives here says I like fruit pies." - Bobby Hill

[obscurejude]

:rofl: That ep was on two nights ago.

[jayson]

Of all the great readings Pamela Adlon has given as Bobby, that is by far the single greatest of the bunch and the one that Melissa and I reference the most.

[obscurejude]

I just want to watch King of the Hill for hours now. I'll get a fix come 10 o'clock.

[Girlystevedave]

My absolute favorite Bobby Hill quote is:
"That's my purse! I don't know you!"
Plus, it's from one of the funniest episodes, IMO.

[sarajean]

ha! i said that in the av/sig thread a while ago!

:wub:

[candy]

you realize i must now type out the entire script to every doctor who episode, do you not?

'i'm sorry, i'm so very sorry'
as quoted in nearly every ep of the 10th dr
lol:lol:

[DoctorDodge]

Prince: I'll give you a thousand gold pieces if you do this for me, Doctor.
Doctor: Ha! You think you can buy me with money? Five hundred.
Prince: Done!

Doctor Who: The Androids of Tara. Still watching the Key to Time season. There's PLENTY of Tom Baker quotes from that time I could use on this board, lol!

[Lily-sai]

Friends:

Chandler: Hey, you guys in the living room all know what you want to do. You know, you have goals. You have dreams. I don't have a dream.
Ross: Ah, the lesser known "I Don't Have a Dream" speech.

I just love Chandler. :lol:

[DoctorDodge]

Sanchez: Here, let me cut up your pork pie.

Garth Marenghi's Darkplace. For any fans of weird but brilliant comedies or cheesy 80s shows, you NEED to watch it!

[Tik]

Some Doctor Who quotes!


Sergeant Benton: What are we going to do now?
The Doctor: Keep it confused, feed it with useless information--I wonder if I have a television set handy?

The Doctor: Logic, my dear Zoe, merely enables one to be wrong with authority.

[On how to survive a nuclear blast.]
The Master: You could take the usual precautions...sticky tape on the windows, that sort of thing.

The Doctor: You humans have got such limited, little minds. I don't know why I like you so much.
Sarah: Because you have such good taste.
The Doctor:....That's true! That's very true!

The Doctor: Davros, if you had created a virus in your laboratory, something contagious and infectious that killed on contact, a virus that would destroy all other forms of life; would you allow its use?
Davros: It is an interesting conjecture.
The Doctor: Would you do it?
Davros: The only living thing... The microscopic organism... reigning supreme... A fascinating idea.
The Doctor: But would you do it?
Davros: Yes; yes. To hold in my hand, a capsule that contained such power. To know that life and death on such a scale was my choice. To know that the tiny pressure on my thumb, enough to break the glass, would end everything. Yes! I would do it! That power would set me up above the gods! And through the Daleks I shall have that power!

The Doctor: Would you like a Jelly Baby?
[The Doctor's Jelly Babies are rudely slapped from his hand.]
The Doctor: Well a simple "No, thank you" would have been sufficient...

The Doctor: You're a classic example of the inverse ratio betweeen the size of the mouth and the size of the brain.

Adren: But you have access to the greatest source of knowledge in the universe!
The Doctor: Oh, I do talk to myself sometimes, yes...

Mr. Fibuli: Captain, sir.
The Captain: Speak, Mr. Fibuli.
Mr. Fibuli: The Psychic Interference Transmitter, sir; There seems to be something counter-jamming it.
The Captain: What!? We Dematerialize in three minutes! (into a loudspeaker) ALL GUARDS ON ALERT! SOMEONE IS USING A COUNTER-JAMMING FREQUENCY PROJECTOR! FIND IT AND DESTROY IT IMMEDIATELY!!!
Mr. Fibuli: Captain, do you suppose any of the guards know what a "Counter-Jamming Frequency Projector" looks like?

Pause

The Captain: (into the loudspeaker) DESTROY EVERYTHING!!!

The Doctor: I say; what a wonderful butler, he's so violent!

Sycorax Leader: Blood control is just one form of conquest. I could summon the armada and take this world by force!
The Doctor: Well... you could do that. Yeah, you could do that. Of course you could! But why? Look at these people, these human beings. Consider their potential! From the day they arrive on the planet, blinking, step into the sun, there is more to see than can ever be seen, more to do than- no, hold on. Sorry, that's The Lion King. But the point still stands: Leave them alone!

Cyberman: Our species are similar, though your design is inelegant.
Dalek Thay: Daleks have no concept of elegance!
Cyberman: This is obvious. But consider, our technologies are compatible. Cybermen plus Daleks; together, we could upgrade the universe.
Dalek Thay: You propose an alliance?
Cyberman: This is correct.
Dalek Thay: Request denied!
Cyberman: Hostile elements will be deleted. [they shoot at the Dalek, but it is unaffected]
Dalek Thay: Exterminate! [exterminates both Cybermen]
Cyber Leader: [to another Cybermen] Open visual link!
[the Cyber Leader appears on a screen in front of the other three Daleks]
Cyber Leader: Daleks, be warned. You have declared war upon the Cybermen.
Dalek Sec: This is not war. This is pest control!
Cyber Leader: We have five million Cybermen. How many are you?
Dalek Sec: Four.
Cyber Leader: You would destroy the Cybermen with four Daleks?
Dalek Sec: We would destroy the Cybermen with one Dalek! You are superior in only one respect.
Cyber Leader: What is that?
Dalek Sec: You are better at dying.

The Master: Anyway, why don't we stop and have a nice little chat where I tell you all my plans and you can work out a way to stop me, I don't think!

And the Fury of a Time Lord.

[Heather19]

and some Dead Like Me ones:


George: Do you really care how it's going with me?
Rube: Sure, I make my face look like this and the concerned words come out.


and because Mason always has the best lines

Mason: Heed his advice, and stay on his good side. He's like a volcano, George, he erupts and he spews lava on all the little villages, they run around and, they run around for their lives. But, you know, he stops, and you can go back to the safety of your own home.


Roxy: Why do I have to have an occasion to spread the love?
Mason: Because you're an ornery bitch who eats puppy dogs for breakfast


George: Yuck! This juice tastes like ass, here you try it!
Mason: No, thanks. I'm trying to stay off of the ass juice for now.


Mason: "Let's synchronize our watches."
George: "Good idea."
Mason: "I don't have a watch."

[DoctorDodge]

Ah, quotes from two shows i can't ever get enough of! Tik and Heather19, you're both truly awesome! :grouphug:

And to add to the Doctor Who quotage:


Hildred: You will confess, Doctor.
Doctor: Alright. Alright, i confess!
Hildred: Very sensible.
Doctor: I confess you're a bigger idiot than I thought you were!


Doctor: One more thing. Your name.
Romana: What about my name?
Doctor: It's too long! By the time i've called out, "Look out..." What was your name?
Romana: Romanadvoratrelundar.
Doctor: Well, by the time i've called that out you could be dead! I'll call you Romana.
Romana: I don't like Romana.
Doctor: It's either Romana or Fred!
Romana: Alright, call me Fred!
Doctor: Good. Come on, Romana!

But my alltime favourite Doctor Who quote, which ironically comes from the one-off 8th Doctor tv movie, has to be:

Doctor: A meteor storm and then the sky above was dancing with lights! Purple, green, brilliant yellow - YES!
Grace: What?!?
Doctor: These SHOES!!! They fit perfectly! Yes!

[SpaceMaN]

Fry: A real live robot! Or is that some cheesy Halloween costume?
Bender: Bite my shiny metal ass.
Fry: It doesn't look so shiny.
Bender: Shinier than yours, meatbag.

Professor Farnsworth: Getting the brain out was the easy part, the hard part was getting the brain out.

Bender (after turning human): Goodbye moderation!

[Odetta]

this may not be from a TV show... but I love the World's Most Interesting Man from the beer commercials...
"If he doesn't agree with your opinion, it's because you are wrong."
"He can speak French... in Russian."

[cody44]

House:

House: "Ah, yes, but as the philosopher Jagger once said, 'You can't always get what you want.'"

Cuddy (later in the episode): "I looked up that philosopher, Jagger, you mentioned, and you're right, you can't always get what you want. But as it turns out, if you try sometimes, you get what you need."

The Office:
Toby: Actually, I didn't think it was appropriate to invite children since it's, uh, you know. There's gambling and alcohol... And it's in our dangerous warehouse. And it's a school night. And, you know, Hooters is catering. You know. Is that- is that enough? Should I keep going?
Michael Scott: Why are you the way that you are? Honestly, every time I try to do something fun or exciting, you make it not that way. I hate so much about the things that you choose to be.

Seinfeld:
YouTube - How to respond to a telemarketer - The Seinfeld way

[DoctorDodge]

For some reason, this quote always makes me laugh my arse off:


Dagless: Where does the church stand on the matter of evolution?
Padre: Monkeys were created by God to entertain us. That's all we know, Rick.
Dagless: But surely-
Padre: THAT'S ALL WE KNOW, RICK!

I just love any quote from Darkplace, really. And for double the awesomeness, some quotes from Matt Berry's character in Darkplace:


Sanchez: It's all voodoo nonsense as far as this cat's concerned!


Sanchez: What?!? Am I holding a crock of shit?!? Tell me something! Is this hospital called St. Crock of Shit?!?


Lis: I'm gonna take a shower.
Sanchez: I'll be with you in two secs, you can scrub my legs!

[DoctorDodge]

Seeing Inception, I was of course amazed by it, but me being me, I couldn't help but wonder: where have I seen these kind of ideas before? And didn't they make me laugh? Oh yes. Of course. Moffat, and his brilliant Who concepts.

First, this is the classic moment of someone realising they're in a dream, but as written by Moffat:


Donna: Wait, no… just hang on… so this isn't the real me? This isn't my real body? But I've been dieting!


And as for other complicated ideas, such as the nature of time?


The Doctor: People don't understand time. It's not what you think it is.
Sally: Then what is it?
The Doctor: Complicated.
Sally: Tell me.
The Doctor: Very complicated.
Sally: I'm clever, and I'm listening, and don't patronise me because people have died and I'm not happy. Tell me.
The Doctor: People assume that time is a strict progression of cause to effect... but actually, from a non-linear, non-subjective viewpoint, it's more like a big ball of wibbly-wobbly... timey-wimey... stuff.

Inception is easily one of the best films I've seen this year, but if it had been half as brilliantly witty as this, it would probably have been for me one of the greatest films ever. And I mean ever!

[DoctorDodge]

Doctor: Bishop - lock and load!

Doctor Who - Time of Angels. And yes, i'm watching it right now!

[cgallagh44]

http://www.homersimpsonquotes.com/images/homer.gif

If you really want something in this life you have to work for it. Now quiet, they're about to announce the lottery numbers.

-Homer Simpson

[Mattrick]

Tony Soprano: It's like they say, revenge is like serving cold cuts.
Dr. Melfi: I believe the expression is 'revenge is a dish best served cold.'
Tony Soprano: What'd I say?

[mystima]

Seinfeld: George-"I was in the pool! I was in the pool!"
Soup Nazi- "No soup for you!"

Family guy: Stewie to get Lois' attention- "Lois,Lois,Lois,Lois, Mom, mom, mom, mommie, mommie, mommie, mama, mama, mama, ma, ma, ma, , mum, mum, mum, mummy, mummy, mummy, moma, moma, moma "
Lois-"WHAT!"
Stewie- "Hi" then he runs out of the room laughing hysterically .

[candy]

this :

I know what its like to feel unequal to the task, to feel incapable
I will never be the man i was,
But I have come to embrace those parts of my mind that are
peculiar, broken.
I understand now, thats what makes my mind special.

is now my most favourite 'quote' or speech in a TV programme

[Yaksha]

Harmony: You love that hole more than you love me.

Spike: I love syphilis more than I love you

[DoctorDodge]

Gene Hunt: You know, if I was as worried as you, I'd never fart for fear of shitting myself!

[Odetta]

Sookie - "Is he your maker?"
Eric - "Don't talk about things you don't understand."
Sookie - "You have real love for him."
Eric - "Don't talk about things I don't understand."

[nt07077]

The Greatest show you have never watched, 200 quotes:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TFh2f7rNAEI

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Sgj78QG9Bg

[DoctorDodge]

Malcolm Tucker: If you don't get me some cheese, I'll rip your head off and give you a spinedectomy.

From The Thick of It, a political satire that just doesn't stop getting better and better.

[DoctorDodge]

After Malcolm Tucker receives a birthday cake with the words, "Happy Birthday C*nt" on it:

"This could be from anyone."

[DoctorDodge]

Wife: I want you to go to Gamblers Anonymous.
Fitz: It's run by wankers for wankers!
Therapist: I run the local branch.
Fitz: I rest my case.

Fitz: Waiter? May I have a very sharp knife please? My wife would like to cut off my balls.

Cracker refuses to stop giving me wonderful, wonderful quotes, thank god!

[mystima]

Very first episode of Fringe.

Peter- One guy becomes the most wealthiest man on the planet. the other guy becomes an institutionalized psychopath
Walter-Oooh
Olivia- What? What happened
Walter-I just pissed myself
Peter- Excellent!
Walter- Just a squirt.

[DoctorDodge]

"How do we know this isn't some sort of a trap?"
"Because the Black Adder gives you his word!"
"We want your word, not this Black Adder fellow's."
"But...I am the Black Adder."

[Merlin1958]

"We're not going to Guam, are we"?


Great line I always thought!!!! From "Lost" Frank Lapidus to Jack Shepard.

[DoctorDodge]

"AM I PLEASED TO SEE YOU, OR DID SOMEONE STICK A CANOO IN MY POCKET? WOOF!"

Rik Mayall as Lord Flashheart FTMFW and covered in awesome sauce!

[Ricky]

Hey Bill, don't tell me what I can't do!

[DoctorDodge]

"I've heard the rain comes down so hard, it will make your head bleed!"
"Then I believe a hat would be in order."

[pathoftheturtle]

"... The truth slips and turns, the facts remain the same."
"Oh, yeah? What about light? Particle or wave? I mean, it exhibits qualities of both. When the truth is finally known, the facts will be made to accommodate the truth."
"Now they're getting into paradox. Dicey stuff."

[mystima]

"Holy crap on a cracker!"

<knock> <knock> <knock> Penny!<knock> <knock> <knock> Penny!<knock> <knock> <knock> Penny!

[DoctorDodge]

When Darling's trying to prove he's not a German spy to Blackadder:

"I'm as British as Queen Victoria!"
"So, your father's German, you're half German, and you married a German?"

I think my favourite quote from the same ep though has to be:
"Cigarette?"
"No thank you, I only smoke cigarettes after making love. So back in England, I'm a 20-a-day man."

[pathoftheturtle]

"As intelligence goes up, happiness goes down.
See, I made a graph.
I make lots of graphs."
~ Lisa Simpson

[pathoftheturtle]

Rick: I know, let's play twenty questions.
All: Nah.
Rick: Yeah, I got one! First clue: starts with "P." Who am I?
Vivian: You're Rick.
Rick: Oh, come on; I said starts with "P."
Vivian: Well, it could be a silent "P."

[DoctorDodge]

Rick: "The voice of youth!" They're still wearing flared trousers!

[DoctorDodge]

Sam: If this had been about football, he would've had serious injuries!
Gene: He's dead! That's quite serious!

[DoctorDodge]

Because I absolutely love this quote so much:
Moriarty: Sir Boast-a-lot was the bravest and cleverest knight at the Round Table. But soon the other knights began to grow tired of his stories about how brave he was and how many dragons he'd slain. And soon they began to wonder, Are Sir Boast-a-lot's stories even true? Oh no... So one of the knights went to King Arthur and said, "I don't believe Sir Boast-a-lot's stories. He's just a big old liar who makes things up to make himself look good." And then, even the king began to wonder. But that wasn't the end of Sir Boast-a-lot's problem. No. That wasn't the Final Problem. The end.

And for something short and sweet from series 1:

Sherlock Holmes: People have died.
Moriarty: That's what people DO!

[alkanto]

Moriarty is so damn creepy in that ep. It's brilliant!

[Girlystevedave]

Seinfeld:

Elaine: He snuck up on me while I was singing that song from The Lion King.
Jerry: Hakuna Matata?
Elaine: I thought I was alone.
Jerry: That doesn't make it okay.

:lol:

[Ricky]

"Ohh, you just have to come and see thebay-bee." :lol:

[DoctorDodge]

"This government has been maimed, but it can't be shamed. It will. Be. FUCKED!"

The Thick of It really gets what politics is all about like no other show! :lol:

[Yaksha]

Rose: "Three Doctors?"

Jack: "I can't tell you what I'm thinking right now"

[DoctorDodge]

Sam: This place is like Guantanamo Bay.
Gene: Give over, it's nothing like Spain.

Life on Mars

[Jean]

... and all the rest of the screenplay

[DoctorDodge]

Sam: This place is like Guantanamo Bay.
Gene: Give over, it's nothing like Spain.

Life on Mars


... and all the rest of the screenplay

QFT.

[Xile]

"You guys may not know this but I consider myself a bit of a loner. I tend to think of myself as a one-man wolf-pack. But when my sister brought Doug home, I knew he was one of my own and my wolf-pack, it grew by one. So we're two. So there was two of us in the pack. I was alone first in the pack and Doug joined in later. And six months ago, when Doug introduced me to you guys I thought, wait a second, could it be? And now I know for sure... That I just added two more guys to my wolf-pack." -Alan, The Hangover

[DoctorDodge]

Gene:..."special glass"?

#itmakessenseincontext

[DoctorDodge]

"They call me 'Fitz'. What do they call you?"
"I don't know."
"'Blood thirsty murdering bastard'?"

[DoctorDodge]

"She's gonna kick herself in the head. Which shouldn't be too difficult - she's into yoga."

"Fuck off back to the Flintstones!"

"What do you think this is? Tinker, tailor, soldier, c**t?"


- The Thick of It

Oh Malcolm Tucker, how I've missed you! :D

[Iwritecode]

"Buck futter!"

-Sean Connery to Alex Trebeck on SNL's celebrity Jeopardy.

[pathoftheturtle]

New line from tonight's "Malibu Country" --

"The Bro Code. It says that what happens between guys stays between just those guys. Women have something similar, except that, in your version, you just tell everybody everything."

http://i148.photobucket.com/albums/s12/POTT2007/smileys/giggle.gif :lol:

[Melike]

"You're so paranoid, Sam, that you don't fart out of fear of crapping yourself." Gene Hunt

[jhanic]

"I brought you into this world and I can take you out." Cliff Huxtable (The Cosby Show)

John

[pathoftheturtle]

There were several classic moments on "The Cosby Show," but nothing better than his old comedy.

[DoctorDodge]

"You're so paranoid, Sam, that you don't fart out of fear of crapping yourself." Gene Hunt

:rofl: Nice to see someone else quoting the Guv other than me for a change! Speaking of which:

Sam: I think she's telling the truth.
Gene: And I think she's as fake as a tranny's fanny. Look at her. She's as nervous as a very small nun at a penguin shoot.

[WeDealInLead]

Fry: "I guess I'll just go home and marry a skunk."
---

Leela: "Oh Lord. He's made of wood."

[Melike]

"You're so paranoid, Sam, that you don't fart out of fear of crapping yourself." Gene Hunt

:rofl: Nice to see someone else quoting the Guv other than me for a change! Speaking of which:

Sam: I think she's telling the truth.
Gene: And I think she's as fake as a tranny's fanny. Look at her. She's as nervous as a very small nun at a penguin shoot.

Evertime I see/hear/remember that, I laugh 'till tears coming down.

I didn't know what that meant. Urban dictionary enlightened me.

[DoctorDodge]

This Is England '86:

"It smells like someone died here!"
"Well, of course! How do you think I got the place so cheap?"

:rofl:

[mystima]

"Are you my Mummy?"
Those who watch this show knows what this is from...now every time my son says it I know what he is talking about and vice versa...lol.

[DoctorDodge]

Now that's what I call great parenting! :lol:

[jhanic]

"Don't let the doorknob hit you where the Good Lord split you!" - George Jefferson.

John

[Bev Vincent]

"That's funny. She looks just like our ex-wife." (FBI Agent Fornell on last night's NCIS)

[jhanic]

"That's funny. She looks just like our ex-wife." (FBI Agent Fornell on last night's NCIS)

That WAS a classic!

John

[Bev Vincent]

Followed closely by "Ever notice how she doesn't get sick? Even germs don't like her." Agent Fornell #NCIS

[Yaksha]

This glorious gem

Xander: Anya, look around. There's ghosts and shaking, and people are going all Felicity with their hair... We're fresh out of superpeople, and somebody's gotta go back in there. Now who's with me?

Spike: I am. I know I'm not the first choice for heroics... and Buffy's tried to kill me more than once. And, I don't fancy a single one of you at all. But... Actually, all that sounds pretty convincing. I wonder if Asian House is open.

[Joe315]

Eddie Menuek: Wow! I gotta tell you man, that's kinda out of the blue.

Chandler Bing: It's not out of the blue. This is smack dab in the middle of the blue!

[pathoftheturtle]

"The problem is, Father Mulcahy does have an unfortunate tendency to forgive people." - Frank Burns

[jhanic]

Path, that is a classic in a series that in itself is classic!

John

[pathoftheturtle]

We could have a favorite M*A*S*H quotes thread, eh, right?

[jhanic]

For sure!

John

[DoctorDodge]

"We haven't been home all night! We're eating out of cartons!"
"Ray, that's your life."
"I haven't been to the pub for 36 hours."
"...shit."

Because it's been too long since I last quoted this awesome show. :D

[SpaceMaN]

Floozies: "Bender honey, we love you."
Bender: "Shut up baby, I know it."

[DoctorDodge]

Some classic fatherly advice from Tony Soprano: "Go out and get a blowjob!" :lol::rofl:

[Melike]

To Jessica, who was refusing to escape with him:
"You don't have that Stockholder Syndrome, do you?" -Jason Stackhouse from True Blood (S06E07, In The Evening)

[Merlin1958]

Best delivered "Breaking Bad" line...

Walt: "You know my name, say it"

Response: "Heisenberg"

Walt: "You're goddamn, right"!!!!

[Melike]

"If I have to hear doppelganger one more time, I’m gonna have to learn how to spell it"
— Damon Salvatore in The Vampire Diaries Season 5 Promo

[DoctorZaius]

Best delivered "Breaking Bad" line...

Walt: "You know my name, say it"

Response: "Heisenberg"

Walt: "You're goddamn, right"!!!!

I thought the last line of this season's season premier was classic:
"If you don’t know who I am, then maybe your best course would be to tread lightly."

[Merlin1958]

Best delivered "Breaking Bad" line...

Walt: "You know my name, say it"

Response: "Heisenberg"

Walt: "You're goddamn, right"!!!!

I thought the last line of this season's season premier was classic:
"If you don’t know who I am, then maybe your best course would be to tread lightly."

That was a classic as well, for whatever reason the "Say my name" just resonates a little more loudly with me. Both very good though

[DoctorDodge]

"Who the hell are you?"
"Gene Hunt, your DCI, and it's 1973. Almost dinner time. I'm having hoops!"

Life on Mars, Series 1, Episode 1

[needfulthings]

After this object is removed from John Watson's pants
.http://imageshack.com/a/img841/1787/4b6e.jpg
"Doesn't mean I'm not pleased to see you"

[Jon]

House M.D.: " Idiots are fun. No wonder every village wants one."

[DoctorDodge]

"We are gonna ram you so far up his arse, that he has to learn how to shit out of his lying mouth!"
"It's not a very nice image...but it is very motivating."

Yep, another Thick of It quote. I love this show so much.

[Girlystevedave]

This moment from The Office cracks me up every time. :rofl:

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/c4/89/0f/c4890fa2fef6446880be9dd70e61acbd.jpg