What movies should NEVER be put on TV?

[Ves'Ka Gan]

I just saw something saying "Pulp Fiction" was going to be aired on tv today...what is it going to be 5 minutes long? With all the stuff you would have to cut out is it even worth watching on the telly???

Another obvious one would be Reservoir Dogs or any other Tarantino venture...what movies do you think TV editing completely ruins/would ruin?

Discuss.:nana:

[jayson]

Another obvious one would be Reservoir Dogs or any other Tarantino venture...what movies do you think TV editing completely ruins/would ruin?


In short, all of them. If a movie cannot be shown in it's full and actual form, it shouldn't be shown at all. If the director/editors wanted a scene cut, they'd have cut it prior to releasing it. If they wanted a word changed, they'd have changed it during shooting. I have no patience for edited movies. I think they do a disservice to the films.

[Ves'Ka Gan]

I agree..but there are some that really make me scratch my head (i.e. Pulp).

I am a bit of a movie purist myself, and generally believe most TV to be outright crap unless you're using it as background noise....I watch a lot of DVDs...

[fernandito]

Goodfellas!

[Girlystevedave]

I saw Mallrats on tv on time, and it pissed me off so bad that I still remember the line that was changed:

Instead of Brodie saying: "I farted around her one day....hey she was going down on me at the time."....It was changed to: "I vomited in front of her."
WTF!!

[John_and_Yoko]

The Shining.

Really, blurring the woman's ENTIRE BODY? :P

[Ruthful]

YouTube - Mad Tv-The Sopranos On PAX TV Parody

[Tiffany]

I just saw something saying "Pulp Fiction" was going to be aired on tv today...what is it going to be 5 minutes long? With all the stuff you would have to cut out is it even worth watching on the telly???

Another obvious one would be Reservoir Dogs or any other Tarantino venture...what movies do you think TV editing completely ruins/would ruin?

Discuss.:nana:

IFC doesn't censor shit. I love it! I watched Pulp Fiction last night and it wasn't missing a thing.
I think it's a Canadian station, though. :(

[fernandito]

Ruthful - I was going to post that same exact video. :lol:

[ArtherEld]

Showgirls.

They actually already put this on tv. There's only one reason why anyone will watch that movie, and the tv version takes it out. Here's a hint, it's not the acting.

[Tiffany]

Showgirls.

They actually already put this on tv. There's only one reason why anyone will watch that movie, and the tv version takes it out. Here's a hint, it's not the acting.

I gotta tell ya', Showgirls was the most hilarious movie I've ever seen on cable. I love those airbrushed, cartoon bikinis they put on the girls. What a riot!

[Ves'Ka Gan]

I saw Mallrats on tv on time, and it pissed me off so bad that I still remember the line that was changed:

Instead of Brodie saying: "I farted around her one day....hey she was going down on me at the time."....It was changed to: "I vomited in front of her."
WTF!!

WAIT...WHAT?! The FCC somehow imagines that someone vomiting is less offensive than someone farting?! Talk about one word changing the entire tone of the movie....yeeck.

[Ruthful]

Ruthful - I was going to post that same exact video. :lol:

It's still one of my all-time favorite TV parody sketches.

[cozener]

I would agree with the idea that if they have to edit it for tv then it shouldn't be on tv.

I should add though that I'm against editing for tv. They should be able to put a movie on unedited and just run disclaimers.

Thing is that movies are not always edited because the content is inappropriate. Sometimes its edited because they can't show the whole movie with the commercials included in the time allotted. And boy howdie does that burn my ass...

[theBeamisHome]

i hate missing the sexy part of movies :pout:
and i'm having a brain fart (ha! take that FCC) trying to think of one movie in particular, but i agree that there are a lot of them

[Ruthful]

My favorite bowdlerized film adapted for TV is Do the Right Thing. I remember watching brief snippets of that farce on Ch. 11 years ago. The edits were so frequent-and comically inappropriate-that it verged on being a surrealistic piece of performance art.

"Fricky-dicky."

[Ves'Ka Gan]

A friend of mine had taken to using the term "melon-farmer" as a swear after a particularly hilarious edit of Die Hard on TV. Everytime they should have been saying "mother fucker" they said "melon farmer". Like if I was pissed at you, the best insult I could come up with would reference hard-day's work and water melons....sheesh.

I jsut thought of another & they show it ALL the time. Casino. I happen to think it's a great movie, but for one, its way to loooong to have commercial breaks and two--tv edit on anything Joe Pesci is comic at best and freaking annoying at worst.

[Odetta]

Scarface...
movie quote - "This town is one big pussy... just waiting to get fucked."

TV quote - "This town is one big chicken... just waiting to get plucked."

'nuff said

[Ruthful]

BTW, I'm pretty sure dry farts are kosher as far as network TV is concerned. The censors only target simulated farts that mimic defecation. That's why the scene in Blazing Saddles with Mongo sitting at the campfire is banned from network TV. The reason that part of Mallrats was expunged probably has to do with the fellatio reference, not the word "fart."

[Ves'Ka Gan]

BTW, I'm pretty sure dry farts are kosher as far as network TV is concerned. The censors only target simulated farts that mimic defecation. That's why the scene in Blazing Saddles with Mongo sitting at the campfire is banned from network TV. The reason that part of Mallrats was expunged probably has to do with the fellatio reference, not the word "fart."

THen why wouldn't they edit the fellation reference & leave "fart"?

Also--I'm pretty sure the word "fart" is rgulated on radio. Of course you can say "bitch" or "ass" and "kill some hos" but God Forbid someone's kid hear "fart":panic: .

[Ruthful]

THen why wouldn't they edit the fellation reference & leave "fart"?

Also--I'm pretty sure the word "fart" is rgulated on radio. Of course you can say "bitch" or "ass" and "kill some hos" but God Forbid someone's kid hear "fart":panic: .

Probably because associating a sexual/lewd act with any sort of excretory function is verboten.

You might be correct about radio, although I listened to the Howard Stern Show for many years on terrestrial radio and I don't seem to recall that ever being a major problem until the last couple of years of his contract. I know they did expunge the word "clitoris" from Eminem's famous single when it was played over the airwaves

[jayson]

I know they did expunge the word "clitoris" from Eminem's famous single when it was played over the airwaves

Which is interesting because when they play The Who's "Who Are You" the never seem to expunge the "who the fuck are you" line.

[Ruthful]

I know they did expunge the word "clitoris" from Eminem's famous single when it was played over the airwaves

Which is interesting because when they play The Who's "Who Are You" the never seem to expunge the "who the fuck are you" line.

Yeah, sometimes you'll hear expletives pretty clearly in old classic rock songs, which those stations don't delete. Maybe they're grandfathered in or something.

[Ves'Ka Gan]

THen why wouldn't they edit the fellation reference & leave "fart"?

Also--I'm pretty sure the word "fart" is rgulated on radio. Of course you can say "bitch" or "ass" and "kill some hos" but God Forbid someone's kid hear "fart":panic: .

Probably because associating a sexual/lewd act with any sort of excretory function is verboten.

You might be correct about radio, although I listened to the Howard Stern Show for many years on terrestrial radio and I don't seem to recall that ever being a major problem until the last couple of years of his contract. I know they did expunge the word "clitoris" from Eminem's famous single when it was played over the airwaves

Hm. When I was a hardcore listener to Loveline I remember there being the stated rule that "clitoris" was okay because it was a clinical term, but "clit" was not because it was slang...of course in Eminem's song, they probably weren't speaking clinically (I mean, if I had to guess...).

[The Lady of Shadows]

I just saw something saying "Pulp Fiction" was going to be aired on tv today...what is it going to be 5 minutes long? With all the stuff you would have to cut out is it even worth watching on the telly???

Another obvious one would be Reservoir Dogs or any other Tarantino venture...what movies do you think TV editing completely ruins/would ruin?

Discuss.:nana:

IFC doesn't censor shit. I love it! I watched Pulp Fiction last night and it wasn't missing a thing.
I think it's a Canadian station, though. :(

i love IFC. i watch lots of movies there. not only because they're uncensored but because it's the only way i can get indies (i don't get the sundance channel).





THen why wouldn't they edit the fellation reference & leave "fart"?

Also--I'm pretty sure the word "fart" is rgulated on radio. Of course you can say "bitch" or "ass" and "kill some hos" but God Forbid someone's kid hear "fart":panic: .

Probably because associating a sexual/lewd act with any sort of excretory function is verboten.

You might be correct about radio, although I listened to the Howard Stern Show for many years on terrestrial radio and I don't seem to recall that ever being a major problem until the last couple of years of his contract. I know they did expunge the word "clitoris" from Eminem's famous single when it was played over the airwaves

did you say verboten. i love you. :couple:

[trixiedust]

The Departed

[Woofer]

Blazing Saddles

"'Scuse me while I whip this out."

[Brice]

Natural Born Killers would be a great tv movie. :D

[jayson]

Natural Born Killers would be a great tv movie. :D

it'd be about 5 minutes long

[Brice]

The credits wouldn't even make it past the censors. :rofl:

[Girlystevedave]

Goodfellas!

This was on tv the other day. And the part when Henry gets busted for selling the cigarettes came up. When he walks out of the courtroom, Paulie says: "Oh, you broke your cherry!"...Well, on tv, it was changed to something in Italian. :lol:

[Mattrick]

I don't get movie censoring in the US. Often enough, deplorable violence is okay entertainment but we musn't use any naughty language.


TBS (now Peachtree TV) showed From Dush Till Dawn. I wonder how much was cut from that movie; take all the swearing, violence, vampires and gore and you're still left with tits all over the screen at parts.

[Woofer]

Blazing Saddles

"'Scuse me while I whip this out."

Coincidentally, Blazing Saddles was on Family that very night. Family even!


I don't get movie censoring in the US. Often enough, deplorable violence is okay entertainment but we musn't use any naughty language.

TBS (now Peachtree TV) showed From Dush Till Dawn. I wonder how much was cut from that movie; take all the swearing, violence, vampires and gore and you're still left with tits all over the screen at parts.

The tits are blurred. They probably even blur Tom Savini's crotch gun* these days.

*His other crotch gun.

[jayson]

The tits are blurred. They probably even blur Tom Savini's crotch gun* these days.

*His other crotch gun.

Do they even let him say his name is Sex Machine?

[fernandito]

Goodfellas!

This was on tv the other day. And the part when Henry gets busted for selling the cigarettes came up. When he walks out of the courtroom, Paulie says: "Oh, you broke your cherry!"...Well, on tv, it was changed to something in Italian. :lol:

:rofl:

I wonder what they did in the Billy Batts scene.

"You motherfuckingfreaking mutt! You piece of shit trash you!"

[Ves'Ka Gan]

Blazing Saddles

"'Scuse me while I whip this out."

Coincidentally, Blazing Saddles was on Family that very night. Family even!


I don't get movie censoring in the US. Often enough, deplorable violence is okay entertainment but we musn't use any naughty language.

TBS (now Peachtree TV) showed From Dush Till Dawn. I wonder how much was cut from that movie; take all the swearing, violence, vampires and gore and you're still left with tits all over the screen at parts.

The tits are blurred. They probably even blur Tom Savini's crotch gun* these days.

*His other crotch gun.
If they blurred the crotchgun, I would love to see the look on someone's face who had not seen the film before, honestly, blurring the crotch area would make it look SO much worse than what it is!!

Also, I wonder if they leave the Selma Hayek beer down the leg scene out? It's pretty sexy in a weird vampire/foot fetish way...and that movie really isn't worth watching without all of Richie's random thoughts and actions which are all considered inappropriate for tv (he's a rapist for crying out loud).

[Woofer]

The tits are blurred. They probably even blur Tom Savini's crotch gun* these days.

*His other crotch gun.

Do they even let him say his name is Sex Machine?

Hrm. I think I do remember hearing Sex Machine, but I'm not sure if that's just my mind filling in what I know.




The tits are blurred. They probably even blur Tom Savini's crotch gun* these days.

*His other crotch gun.
If they blurred the crotchgun, I would love to see the look on someone's face who had not seen the film before, honestly, blurring the crotch area would make it look SO much worse than what it is!!

Also, I wonder if they leave the Selma Hayek beer down the leg scene out? It's pretty sexy in a weird vampire/foot fetish way...and that movie really isn't worth watching without all of Richie's random thoughts and actions which are all considered inappropriate for tv (he's a rapist for crying out loud).

All good points. As I recall, they left the beer down the leg scene in the movie, but a lot of Richie's comments were altered.

[LadyHitchhiker]

Robin Hood: Men in Tights

They bleeped out the word PANSIES when they were doing their song and dance number!!!!!!

What the heck???!!!

[Girlystevedave]

WHAAAAT!?
That doesn't even make sense.

[Girlystevedave]

Goodfellas!

This was on tv the other day. And the part when Henry gets busted for selling the cigarettes came up. When he walks out of the courtroom, Paulie says: "Oh, you broke your cherry!"...Well, on tv, it was changed to something in Italian. :lol:

:rofl:

I wonder what they did in the Billy Batts scene.

"You motherfuckingfreaking mutt! You piece of shit trash you!"

"You mother lover! You are of the canine species. I am going to take you to the garbage dump where you belong." :D


So, I watched Tommy Boy on tv yesterday and they actually left in the part where the kid yells: "Your sail is limp just like your dick."...
Yet a week ago, on the same channel I was watching Dumb and Dumber and the part where Harry is talking to Mary about the dog breeding and she asks if there was any unusual breeding, the line was changed to: "No, mostly doggystyle regular style."
:arg: What the hell?

[Rjeso]

"You mother lover! You are of the canine species. I am going to take you to the garbage dump where you belong." :D

:lol: "Canine species." :lol:

My favorite edit has still got to be for Die Hard With A Vengeance.

"Yippee-ki-yay, melonfarmer."

[Girlystevedave]

'Melon farmer'.. :lol:
They should just bleep stuff out of movies, instead of changing it.

[Rjeso]

Eh, but that takes all the fun away of hearing a COMPLETELY DIFFERENT voice say something COMPLETELY RIDICULOUS to cover up unacceptable language. ;)

[Girlystevedave]

:lol:. True.
Sometimes it's funny.....sometimes I just get super angry. :unsure:

[Sam]

Here's one that should never be shown in an edited form.

Clercks 2.

Just how would they explain Kinky Kelly and The Sexy Stud? I think the entire subplot would be expunged and thus would remove one of the funniest (and scariest) scenes I have ever seen in a movie.

[Girlystevedave]

I've never seen the first Clerks on tv...and they better not do it either. :arg:
It would be totally ruined.

[Brice]

Why do you think that, Amanda?

[Girlystevedave]

They would totally butcher the dialogue in it. And let's face it, that's what makes that movie.

*Edit
I can see it now
"My cousin died trying to suck his own toe"

[jayson]

The original Clerks would never work on tv. Aside from the obvious language cuts that would be made, there would be a huge content cut regarding Caitlin and the old man in the bathroom. without the scene of that realization, it's not Clerks.

[Girlystevedave]

They would only be left without 30 minutes of appropriate footage, me thinks. :orely:

[jayson]

They would only be left without 30 minutes of appropriate footage, me thinks. :orely:

it'd be shorter than an episode of Clerks Animated Series for sure.

[Brice]

I am just curious how they'd change the lines when Randall is ordering movies on the phone. :evil: :lol:

[jayson]

I am just curious how they'd change the lines when Randall is ordering movies on the phone. :evil: :lol:

that's likely the first scene to get cut out. incidentally, in the actual script the scene is even better than the one in the movie. after randall finishes his list, the script calls for the little girl to say "cunt." one of a handful of lines from the script which i wish made it to the screen. another is the woman who tells the boys to find a job they care about. in the film she says she "manually masturbates caged animals for artificial insemination." in the script she "kills chinamen for the railroad." i know which one i think is funnier.

[Girlystevedave]

The whole Berserker song would be cut, too. Or they would change it to:
"Would you like to suck my cock perform oral sex on me, Berserker."

[jayson]

The whole Berserker song would be cut, too. Or they would change it to:
"Would you like to suck my cock perform oral sex on me, Berserker."

And the line from their friend would undoubtedly be changed to "did he just say making fuck love?" thus rendering it not funny.

[Girlystevedave]

That reminds me, I did watch Mallrats on tv one time. Pretty much every single line from Jay was changed to something else. If no one had seen that movie before, they would have no idea what Jason Mewes even sounded like. :lol:

[jayson]

When they show Mallrats on tv do they have to say Tricia Jones is older than she is, which would of course cause issues later in the movie?

[Sam]

How about trying Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back on tv?
I see it as the film starts the beginning credits start to roll, cut final part of end credits roll (you know that part where they give the thanks for everyone. The part after that. You know it. The copyright information and disclaimer that it's all fiction. Yeah, that part. Just for a moment and cut to black so no one can really read what was there.) Total running time 1:13 (that's one minute and thirteen seconds.)

[The Lady of Shadows]

resident evil - any of them.

has anyone said that yet. what's the point really of pointing those movies on tv? they really are good but they cut the stupidest things out of them for tv. it's like they count the cuss words or something. and the things they decide to "blank" out. puhleeze. :thumbsdown:

[Girlystevedave]

I caught a few minutes of X-Men on tv the other day, and one of the fighting scenes was actually sped up.
It really annoyed me.