Seymour_Glass Written Works

[Seymour_Glass]

The Purple Man (http://www.thedarktower.org/palaver/showthread.php?2756-The-Purple-Man-(Short-Story)&p=155956&viewfull=1#post155956)

A Night at the Cinema (http://www.thedarktower.org/palaver/showthread.php?2756-Seymour_Glass-Written-Works&p=166907&viewfull=1#post166907)

Spiders From Mars (http://www.thedarktower.org/palaver/showthread.php?2756-Seymour_Glass-Written-Works&p=429960&viewfull=1#post429960)



The Purple Man (Short Story)

There was a purple man behind the bush. Nobody said anything, so maybe I'm the only one who knew, but I think they did.
The purple man laughs at me. He hates me. Everything else is perfectly normal, which means that something definitely is not right.
The purple man loves me. He's there so I know that something is wrong. Without him I would be as clueless as Al, whose office is across the hall from mine. He doesn't see the purple man.
I realize that I do not remember what I do at work. I only remember breaks and lunch. I do not do anything. My job does not exist.
There is no one but the purple man, nowhere but the bush and the sidewalk next to it. The rest is a lie.
My wife Martha is a lie. My life is a lie. I am a lie. The purple man is the only truth.
I did not see him today. I feel like a prophet after the prophecy. Forever cut off from God.
The purple man is God. But he hides from us. Because if we saw all of him, we would become as him.
I saw God. I am turning purple.
That is why I am quitting my job and leaving my wife, because it is a terrible burden.
I am, and always have been, the purple man.

[mia/susannah]

Interesting. But I really don't understand it. Sorry

[ladysai]

I'm confused. too.
The purple man loves, hates, and laughs at you (the character in the story) and you come to believe he's God.
I think if you told us more about how you came to believe he's god then it would be a lot less confusing.
Cool story, though. I'd like a purple god.

Welcome to Turtleback Lane, by the way!

[Brice]

I actually like it alot. It leaves me wondering if the narrator is losing his mind or something is really going on, but never clarifies.

[Seymour_Glass]

I'd say it's a good ole descent into madness myself, but what if the madmen are the gods of their own worlds?

[Steve]

Very Facebook-worthy quote there. I think the story's got moxie, keed.

[Seymour_Glass]

Thanks, man.

[Storyslinger]

:clap:

[Girlystevedave]

I like this....it's interesting. I must say there are a lot of complicated, yet simple thoughts in it.


I did not see him today. I feel like a prophet after the prophecy. Forever cut off from God
I really like this line. So, I must ask....Is the Purple Man indefinitely God, or does it signify the object or being that is consuming all of your thoughts? (Whether it be God or something else). Just curious...

[Seymour_Glass]

I finished it shortly after starting this thread. This is the finished story. I don't really know how well the beginning gels with the end, because there was about a month in between them, but I'm proud of it.


A Night at the Cinema
By Daniel Russell

“What a wonderful invention the cat is.” said Hector to Norman, the Maine Coon which lived at his house. Norman looked up at him and purred. Hector continued to pet Norman for several more minutes. When Hector got up to leave, Norman followed for a bit before he noticed some business that was going on between Ma and Elliot. Ma was a cat as well. Elliot was Hector’s older brother.
Hector went to the front door of the house, considered grabbing his jacket, and went outside without it. It was mid-March, and it had rained the night before, leaving everything wet and cool. He walked down the street until it met Yolanda Avenue. He continued down Yolanda to the corner where an abandoned building stood. No one seemed to know what it was supposed to be, they only knew that whoever owned it had not gone to the expense of demolishing it. There was a hole in the wall big enough to enter through. Hector did that.
Inside he met his friend Gerald. Gerald and Hector met there often. It was one of the few places where one could be truly undisturbed by humanity. They kept their secrets there. It was their fortress.
After a discussion which could not have taken place elsewhere, they left. Hector returned home, and Gerald went to the gas station not far from the Fortress to pick up a Mountain Dew and some Junior Mints. He was happy. He had not long ago asked Julia to see a movie with him that night. She had said yes. He was ecstatic and terrified. When he was not reflecting on the miraculousness of it, he was frantically wondering what to wear. He decided to consult his friend Mike, who he knew wouldn’t be of any help. But Mike was great with diversionary tactics, which Gerald needed because the date was in eleven hours.
When Gerald got to Mike’s house, he found that Ian was over there. Ian was a guy who Gerald always felt that he should and could be good friends with, but wasn’t. They hung out with a lot of the same people, but had only met a few times.
“Hey Ger.” said Mike.
“Hey, Mickey, Ian.” said Gerald.
“Hey, man.”-Ian.
“You seem perky today, Gerry. I’m worried, what’s up?”-Mike.
“I’m going to see Weird Fishes with Julia tonight.”
“Aha. What are you going to wear?”
“What’s wrong with what I’m wearing now?”
Mike laughed. “Well, it’s an Evil Dead shirt. And despite what they tell you in Geek Magazine, that’s not exactly fit for a romantic encounter. You need to wear something kinda dressy but exuding casualness.”
“Like what?”
“Some band. Death Cab, The Shins, so forth.”
“I have a new Death Cab shirt.”
“Well, now that’s out of the way. You need a jacket.”
“All I have is that chick-sweater-jacket thing.”
“That works.”
“Pants?”
“They’re optional.”
The three of them laughed.
“You don’t need to change pants. Jeans are socially acceptable for everything except gym class these days.”
“Okay. Thanks.”
“Well,” said Mike to Ian, “as I was saying before we were ever so rudely interrupted…”
Gerald tuned Mike and Ian’s discussion of whatever it was out and thought about what lay directly in his future. His mix of anticipation and anxiety was hard to bear, but he couldn’t get enough of it. He sat there not listening until he realized that Mike was about to include him as one of the more vastly intelligent people who preferred Alan Moore to Frank Miller.
“Ian, my dear boy, Frank only writes crime stories. Alan Moore writes everything. And it’s all masterwork. Right, Ger?”
“Yeah.”
“See? Gerald agrees.”
His nose remained high in the air for a silent second before it dropped back down.
“Either of you guys hungry?”- Mike
“I’m feeling peckish, yeah.”- Ian
“I’ll go grab some chips.”
Mike got up and went into the kitchen.
“Gerald, I think we should hang out more.”
“I’m down with that.”
“Good. We should start right now.”
“Yeah. I’m sorry I wasn’t present for most of the conversation.”
“I know the feeling. I’ll be sitting in a math class and just realize that I’m not at all paying attention.”
“Maybe you should start.”
“I think the same thing, but the next day I’m sitting there thinking about the same kind of Seinfeld stuff.”
“Huh.”
“Yup.”
Mike came back in with the chips. Ian took one immediately.
“So how did you gents hold up while I was away?”
“We made love.”-Gerald
“On this couch.”-Ian
“You mean I’m gonna have to get this goddamn thing steam-cleaned again? Shit.”
They laughed. “Anyone want me to pull out Rock Band?”-Mike
“That’d be nice.”-Ian
They played Rock Band for a while. Eventually Ian left. He stepped outside and looked up at the sky. It was overcast, an evenly spread grey. He walked down the road to the convenience that Gerald had gone to not very long before. He went inside.
The man behind the counter was reading the paper with a sour expression on his face. Ian thought it was kind of funny. He had trouble containing his laughter as he turned around and went to the soda cooler. He spent a moment contemplating which bottle to pick up, decided on a Pepsi and went to the counter. The counter-man looked up from the paper and looked at him, the sour expression shifting a bit but remaining firmly on his face.
“Hello, Ian. I didn’t see you come in.”
“Hey, Dad.”
“You were trying to sneak by me, weren’t you?”
“I have to come up here and buy this anyway.”
“But you were, weren’t you?”
“Can you blame me, Dad? After everything?”
Ian’s dad looked at the Pepsi for a moment and punched the price into the register. He looked at his shoes as he said “That’ll be $1.31, please.”
Ian reached into his pocket and yanked out two dollars. He handed them to his father, who put them into the register and pulled out the change.
“Your change is sixty-nine cents. Have a nice day.”
Ian took the money and shoved it into his pocket. He walked out of the store, pausing to hold the door open for Elliot, who was going into the store. Elliot muttered a “Thanks” and went in. He headed back to the cooler, hesitated a moment and pulled out a grape soda. He went to the counter and paid for it, noticing the resignation in the cashier’s voice.
He left the store and went home. He started to drink his grape soda when his cell rang. He answered it.
“Hello?”
“Hey, El. It’s Max.”
“Hey, man. What’s up?”
“Well, Molly, Brendan, and I are all going to have dinner at Alfredo’s and go see Weird Fishes tonight. You up for it?”
“Oh, yeah. Of course.”
“Cool. We’ll be picking you up momentarily.”
“Sweet. See ya.”
“Later.”
Max hung up.
“What’s up?” asked Hector, coming out of the kitchen.
“A bunch of us are going to ‘Fredo’s and seeing Weird Fishes tonight. You want to come?”
“No. I think I’m coming down with something, and I just want to sleep whatever it is off.”
“Okay.”
“Hey, Gerald’s taking Julia to see Weird Fishes tonight.”
“He finally asked her out?”
“Yeah.”
“And I’m going to assume she said yes. Good for him.”
“Yeah.”
Max’s car pulled into the driveway.
“There’s my ride. Rest up, man.”
“Thanks. See you.”
Elliot raised his hand in a goodbye gesture and went outside. He looked at the darkening sky for a moment before going down the porch-stairs and getting into the backseat of the car beside Brendan.
“Hey, everybody.”
“Hey.” –Molly.
“Tsup?”-Brendan
“Howaya?” Max asked with an over the top, vaguely Italian accent.
“Oh, you know, I been teaching a lesson ta th’ udda families. I think they’ll back offa yer turf, Godfather.”
Molly and Brendan laughed.
“That was good, man”-Max
“Thanks.”
“You okay, man?”
“Yeah, in the physical sense. I got a D in Rebberd’s class.”
“What?”
“I know.”
“How?”- Brendan.
“Something about insubordination.”
“But… how did that affect your grade?”
“You know that boring-ass final project he gives? Where you have to copy all of your goddamn notes onto a bunch of manila folders?”
“Yeah?”
“I respectfully declined. I asked him if I could write a story in Spanish instead, thinking that a practical application of the language we’re studying would be acceptable.”
“And?”
“He said I could turn it in for a zero and I told him that that was profoundly stupid and that he was so full of shit that it was spewing out of his mouth when he talked.”
“Whoa. I’ve always wanted to do that.”-Max.
“Me too.”-Brendan.
“Well, I’m living the dream, and the consequences.”
“That must suck.”-Molly.
“Yeah. Thank God and the Man Jesus that the ‘rents are out of town this weekend.”
“Yeah.”
“They only left because I swore up and down that I wouldn’t go out with you guys.”
“Do you think they’ll find out?”-Brendan.
“Nah. Hector wouldn’t say anything. So as long as there’s not a traitor amongst us…”
Max took his left hand from the steering wheel and slowly raised it. The others laughed.
“But yeah. Life sucks.”-Elliot.
“Shit, man.”-Max.
“The worst part is that my parents treat me like I’m a different person. As if everything good I’ve ever done was done by my dead twin who I killed.”
“That sucks.”-Molly.
“Yeah, but fuck it. I don’t want to put a downer on what’s shaping up to be a fine evening with my sob-story. I’ll put it in a memoir.” Elliot said as they pulled into the parking lot at Alfredo’s Italian Bistro.
They got out of the car and went into the restaurant. They sat at a booth near a window. It began to drizzle. Molly and Max sat on one side. Elliot would normally not take note of this, but they were holding hands.
“We have something we’d like to share with the general public.”-Max.
“So Brendan and I are just the general public now, huh?” Elliot said bitingly. He knew that they would take it as sarcasm, which it was, but at the same time it was genuine.
“Well, to a pair of young lovers the rest of the world fades away…”-Molly.
“Ahh.” Elliot tried to say it casually.
“So why didn’t you two do this alone as a date-type thing?”-Brendan.
“We wanted to make the announcement and get your blessing.”-Molly.
“Well, tonight shall be the test. If you pass, I’ll give it to you.” Elliot said trying to sound like Ian McKelllen. “I have to tinkle.”
He got up and went to the bathroom. He peed. After washing his hands he looked into the mirror.
“Fuck.”
He left the bathroom and sat back down.
“So, what kind of pizza do you guys want to get?” Max asked.
“I’m good for anything.” Elliot said before zoning out of the conversation.
He went back in after the pizza was placed on the table before them.
“So, Elliot, I’m glad you could join us.”-Molly.
“Sorry. I’ve just been thinking.”
“About what?’
“Stuff. Life-stuff. You know.”
“Yeah.”
They looked at each other and their eyes locked for a beat.
“You know Hector’s friend Gerald?”
“Yeah.”-Max.
“He’s going to this movie with a girl he’s been crushing on for a long time.”
“What made you think of that?”-Max.
“Well, soon those crazy kids will have made it through their freshman year, and they’ll be like real people. I dunno, I just thought it was worth mentioning.”
“Well, good for him.”-Max.
“Yeah. That’s what I said.”
“You seem kinda down tonight, El. What’s up?”-Brendan
“You mean besides having to stare at the walls of my room for the rest of my high school education?”
“Well, yeah, but if it was that you’d be enjoying yourself more than you usually would. “
“Brendan’s right. What’s up?”-Molly.
“Just stuff. I might be coming down with something.”
“Oh. Hope not.”-Molly.
“I do. Then I can stay in my room and read and write away from the ‘rents.”
“Well, if you do get sick, I’ll be expecting something good considering your incarceration.”-Max.
“Sure can do, Bubba Man.”
“Bubba Man?”
“Yeah. You got a problem with your new nickname?”
“This is just all so sudden…”
“Suck it up, Bubba Man.”
“Where did that even come from?”-Brendan.
“I honestly have no idea.”
“Bubba Man wants to eat!”-Max grabbed for a slice of pizza while saying this. Elliot looked at it and saw it was veggie. He got himself a slice and ate.
After the pizza, the got back into Max’s car and headed towards the movie theater.
“Have any of you read any reviews or anything?”-Elliot.
“Nathan told me it was really good, almost as good as Introductions.”-Brendan.
“That’s pretty high praise.”
“Let’s hope he’s right.”-Molly.
“Yeah. But it probably won’t be. As good.”-Elliot.
“What makes you say that?”-Molly.
“Experience. Things just seem to sour as people get more of it. He’s a more experienced filmmaker, but by this time he’s lost some of his freshness. And I have, too, because of what I’ve seen, movies and reality. The more you do, the more you lose.”
“That’s a depressing outlook. Do you really believe that?”-Max.
Elliot glanced at the space between Max and Molly. “Yeah. More and more every day.”
They pulled into the parking lot of the theater and got out of the car. They got in line for tickets and bought them. Max bought Molly’s. They filed into the theater.
As they took their seats, Gerald walked in with Julia. He bought her ticket and they sat down.
“I hope it’s good.”-Gerald.
“It will be.”
“Yeah. I don’t see how it can be bad. I mean, Frimer’s a good, no, he’s a great director. I mean, Introductions was an amazing film. That’s all there is to it. He just…. Shit.”
“What?”
“I’m talking way too much. Sorry.”
` “It’s okay. I like it.”
“You’re lying. I’m being an obnoxious prick, and you’re gonna hate me all because of this nervous reaction I have when I try to talk to you.”
“It’s fine, really. I mean, it keeps me from saying anything stupid that might screw this up, and I’m pretty sure it means you like me.”
“I’m pretty sure it does, too. But I mean, I just can’t get comfortable around you, and I’m gonna say something incredibly awkward and shit I’ve started up again.”
“Well, let me just say that your babble is way more interesting than most people’s most refined speeches.”
“Well,…. Thanks.”
“And I like you.”
“Oh.”
“You didn’t know that?”
“Well, I knew that you didn’t hate me, but I…”
“When you asked me out I was pretty ecstatic.”
“Yeah. That’s… I don’t know. This is good. Right now is good.”
“It is though, isn’t it?”
“Yeah. I mean, today was just a blur, I didn’t know what to do, I tried to distract myself, but I can honestly say that right now there is nothing-“
The lights began to dim.
“I’d better shut up.”
He did.
So did Max, who was saying something similar to Molly. Elliot cleared his head and watched the screen as it came to life.
The movie was good, but Elliot wasn't really paying attention. When it was over he wordlessly got up and headed out with his friends.
"What'd you think, Elliot?"-Max
"Huh? Oh, I liked it. It was almost as good as Introductions. But I think he lost some of his spark."
"Yeah."
They got to Elliot's house and let him out. He said goodbye and walked up the stairs onto his porch and through the front door.
"Hector?" No answer. He went upstairs to check on his brother.
"Hector?" He asked as he tentatively opened the door.
The first thing he noticed upon entering the room was the dark red splotch on the ceiling. His eyes panned down, like a movie camera. He saw Norman sniffing at the bloody hole in the back of Hector's head. In between Hector's teeth he saw the gun.

[Scar]

Re: The Purple Man

I liked this story Seymour_Glass.

And now it would seem I am the Purple Man; this is my fifth post...

[razz]

Re: The Purple Man

love it. short, simple. seems like a cross between Paranoia :a chant, and Jakes "Truth" essay

[Seymour_Glass]

Re: A Night at the Cinema

This lack of comments is disheartening. Just sayin'.

[mia/susannah]

Re: A Night at the Cinema
I liked the story but I hope you are not finished with it. It really needs a good ending. I also think maybe you should work on how you start the story as well. You should be proud of this story, it is good just needs some fixing up is all

[Seymour_Glass]

Re: A Night at the Cinema

Thanks. I'll probably touch it up a little.

[Darkness Howls]

Re: A Night at the Cinema

It's good--your dialogue is really realistic and everything. However, a few suggestions...

Read the story aloud, especially the beginning where there isn't much dialogue. A lot of the sentences read a bit awkwardly, and I think you'll get what I'm talking about if you read it aloud to yourself. Just an example...


The petting of Norman continued for several more minutes.

It sounds kind of robotic and...odd (at least to me). It disrupts the flow of the piece. Maybe try rewording it a bit...


Ex. He kept on petting Norman for a while longer, then...

And finally...sometimes it's hard to tell who's talking when. Leaving out tags is a good habbit to develop, and works well with two people, but when you have three or more all talking at once, it gets kind of hectic. I notice you do things like,


"Blah blah blah..." -Molly
"BLAH? Blah blah." -Elliot

That does get the point across, but it's not the way most people (at least that I know of) do it...you can keep doing that if you'd like, but I'd suggest just changing it to some like,


"Blah blah blah..." said Molly as..."
"BLAH? Blah blah." replied Elliot

Other than that, nice job! I hope you finish this, because it's pretty interesting. :D

*Nibbles on kitten*

[Jean]

Read the story aloud, especially the beginning where there isn't much dialogue. A lot of the sentences read a bit awkwardly, and I think you'll get what I'm talking about if you read it aloud to yourself.

Norman looked up at him and purred. The petting of Norman continued for several more minutes. When Hector got up to leave, Norman followed for a bit before some business that was going on between Ma and Elliot. Ma was a cat as well. Elliot was Hector’s older brother.
Hector went to the front door of the house, considered grabbing his jacket, and went outside without it. It was mid-March, and it had rained the night before, leaving everything wet and cool. He walked down the street until it met Yolanda Avenue. He walked down Yolanda to the corner where an abandoned building stood. No one seemed to know what it was supposed to be, they only knew that whoever owned it had not gone to the expense of demolishing it. There was a hole in the wall big enough to enter through. Hector did that. (etc)

All those sentences start with their subjects. It's very characteristic for amateurish writing, and reads like hiccuping; as a reader, I would strongly suggest your doing something about it (if it is not a special effect, of course; if it is, it is overdone).
But I liked the story anyway.

[Seymour_Glass]

The beginning is really messed up. Thanks for your comments.

[Seymour_Glass]

I'm really glad that all of you guys liked it and put so much thought into it.

[William50]

Re: The Purple Man


I'm really glad that all of you guys liked it and put so much thought into it.

Very good, I liked it! Was it something that you came up with on the spot or did you work on it for a while?

[Seymour_Glass]

I just sat down and wrote it. I don't really know how it happened.

[William50]

I'm impressed.

[razz]

Re: The Purple Man

when i read something, i tend to either leik it or not. when i finish reading it. i hardly think during the reading. in this way, one of four htings happen
1. i immediately leik it, and thinking about it increases these thoughts
2. i immediately leik it, and thinking about it makes me change my mind
3. i disleik it, and thinking about it increases negativity
4. i disleik it, and thinking about it changes me mind

this was a 1

[Jean]

razz, if I ever meet you in the so-called real life I'll bite your head off for your way of spelling "like"

If it goes on, I'll find a means to do so online, too.

Back to topic


I feel like a prophet after the prophecy. Forever cut off from God.
Seymour, that line is really powerful.

[Seymour_Glass]

Re: A night at the Cinema

I finished it the way I originally intended to.

[Seymour_Glass]

Listen up, you screwheads and serial killers, here is a man who would not take it anymore, a man who switched from renting movies to netflix. There is no way one could stop me from leaving right now to go to mars and stop the spider horde from breeding and infecting my brain like a swine flu on a summer camp. The spiders are burrowing further and further into my brain, killing what is me and replacing it with a drone that has an insatiable thirst for Coca0-Cola. This is my last plea for help. I don't know how much longer I can hold off the spiders.But they want to enslave us from the inside out, make us all happy campers that eat and sleep and laugh without anything to ground us in the horrible reality that is slowly beginning to replace what we call normal life. Slowly and subtly. There;'s no way i can hold out. When you read this, i will be a hollowed out shell of a human being, or what a human being once wazs. Sppiderzz uizz takin my brainssaz. I cand talk much l;onger..... AARRGFJHAGYCDF<BSJDKFLHJNFKSDHF.


Send help. Quickly. There isn't much time until CSI spinoffs become the most exciting part of your day.

[Woofer]

Send help. Quickly. There isn't much time until CSI spinoffs become the most exciting part of your day.

There are no CSI spinoffs. There is only CSI in Las Vegas.

Grissom will be with you shortly.

[smcicr]

“Go back to bed, America, your government has figured out how it all transpired. Go back to bed America, your government is in control. Here, here's American Gladiators. Watch this, shut up, go back to bed America, here is American Gladiators, here is 56 channels of it! Watch these pituitary retards bang their fucking skulls together and congratulate you on the living in the land of freedom. Here you go America - you are free to do what well tell you! You are free to do what we tell you!”

God bless Bill Hicks....

[Jean]

Seymour, if you don't mind my asking - what genre is this? Bears need to know for indexing purposes http://i91.photobucket.com/albums/k291/mishemplushem/Facilitation/0134-bear.gif

[Seymour_Glass]

Oh. Ummmm. Prossibly science fiction.

[Jean]

Possibly. Would you say it's a short story, or part of something bigger?

[Seymour_Glass]

RIght now, short story. I could always expand it or do something else with the idea though.