A Collection of Words.

[The_Nameless]

I guess I'll post a few of my poems here to get things started, if you don't mind. They are older works of mine, I wish I could find some more current ones.

These three are the poems people seem to enjoy the most out of my work.

(Warning: They aren't that great.)

Summer Breeze Brings Summer Dreams

The sunlight reflects off the glass in the streets
making a tiny constellation; my own personal galaxy.
Running along a sky of thousands of stars beneath my feet
I feel free as a breeze, light as a feather.
I float along like the clouds, billowing in the trees;
flying swiftly in the wind following the scents of roses and heather.
I land in a soft pile of lilacs thinking of what things may come;
possibly the twlight hours and the coming of the moon.
But alas, these are nothing but lovely daydreams in the sun.

Lovely Autumn

Sitting in the warm glow of the early morning sun.
A light breeze teases my hair and brings fond memories.
The smile on my face creeps up without warning.
Your voice a lovely sound in my head running around.
A robin sits on a nearby tree singing it's tune; another answers it's call
Sweet nature. Another beautiful fall.


Lost at Sea

When will I open my eyes?
When will I see these images in front of me?

I feel it all slip away, through my fingers.
The tiniest resolutions, granular, slipping away.
How will I explain this?
What possible rationalization can I come up with to excuse these actions?

Will I ever make up this mind? Or will it make me over?
Changing, transforming rapidly.
Transcending past the place where I left my mark.
The hull is cracked and stained.
The rock, which is it's resting place, has become buried under these sands.
A tempest can come and blow everything away. A swift breeze to blow it down.

Hanging in the halls is my portrait, cracked and torn. The colours bleed, the image fades.
When will I open my eyes? It may already be too late.
I see the waves, in the distance.
Have they come to wash these sands away? Or have they come to bury me deeper?

I'll sit in these empty halls, listening to the bow break, waiting for the cradle to fall.
I'll sit along this empty hull, listening to the creaks and moans of this great ship.
Just sitting and listening for the crash of the oncoming waves in the distance.

[Matt]

I like that second one man, it was weird when I read it because I wasn't sure if the sea itself was metaphorical for life or an actual ocean.

Thanks for posting them.

[OchrisO]

I like the use of the seasons in the first one, and how they convey feeling in and of themselves, and how you relate feelings to them. I also like the ambiguity of it. You could be talking about a lover, but you could just as well be talking about the feelings themselves, with the breeze being the voice in the autumn stanza. In this manner, it sort of reminded me of John Keats' "Ode To Autumn"

[Candice Dionysus]

Oh, Daniel, have I told you before how your poetry makes me feel?
:huglove:
I think I've mentioned elsewhere that my favorite is the Summer Breeze one.
Or maybe back then it was the Autumn one, and I've just changed my mind over time.
Your poetry makes me smile, makes me happy. Post more, if you've got it.

[The_Nameless]

I like that second one man, it was weird when I read it because I wasn't sure if the sea itself was metaphorical for life or an actual ocean.

Thanks for posting them.

I tried incorporating terms that would convey that the sea was an actual ocean that reminded the narrator of his life; kind of a compare and contrast type thing.

Thank you for the kind words.


I like the use of the seasons in the first one, and how they convey feeling in and of themselves, and how you relate feelings to them. I also like the ambiguity of it. You could be talking about a lover, but you could just as well be talking about the feelings themselves, with the breeze being the voice in the autumn stanza. In this manner, it sort of reminded me of John Keats' "Ode To Autumn"

Hmm, thank you. It seems you've put more thought into my poem than I have, haha. I am glad you enjoyed the ambiguity of the work; it is one of my favourite ways to write.
I think - and don't quote me on this- I was trying to show how different things can conjure up different emotions and memories.


Oh, Daniel, have I told you before how your poetry makes me feel?

I think I've mentioned elsewhere that my favorite is the Summer Breeze one.
Or maybe back then it was the Autumn one, and I've just changed my mind over time.
Your poetry makes me smile, makes me happy. Post more, if you've got it.

I guess it is a good thing I posted two of my more upbeat poems then, huh? Haha. I tend to think my poems have a melancholy feeling underlining them. Most of my poems depress me.

I can not thank you all enough for the kind words. I am never sure how well my poetry is going to go over for people; how much people will enjoy it. So when I do see that people enjoy my work, it makes me quite happy and relieved.

I will be sure to post more when I have them.

[OchrisO]

I just realized that i wordded this wrong: You could be talking about a lover, but you could just as well be talking about the feelings themselves, with the breeze being the voice in the autumn stanza.


It should actually be You could be talking about a lover, but you could just as well be talking about the seasons themselves, with the breeze being the voice in the autumn stanza.


I'm a big English nerd, and I tend to look into things a lot. I once had a professor, who was grading a paper of mine on sexuality in the works of Emily Dickinson write "Because you are gifted in critical thinking, it might be hard to see the literal level of metaphors." Basically, I that was a nice way for her to say "Sometimes you don't see the forest for the trees." haha.

[John Blaze]

nameless, you first poem is great.

there's a saying that's used alot in the poetry forums for crit, and it's
"Show, don't Tell"

I saw what you were saying in the first poem man, and the rest were good too.

Oh, about melancholy poems, that's how most of mine are. It's the funny upbeat ones people like the most, though, for some reason.

[The_Nameless]

nameless, you first poem is great.

there's a saying that's used alot in the poetry forums for crit, and it's
"Show, don't Tell"

I saw what you were saying in the first poem man, and the rest were good too.

Oh, about melancholy poems, that's how most of mine are. It's the funny upbeat ones people like the most, though, for some reason.

Thank you, John. I'd enjoy reading your poetry sometime,

And you're right about the poems. I believe it is because people don't like to be reminded of sad things and feelings.

[John Blaze]

::runs in to see new poem:: :D

::is dissapointed:: :(

I'll post some soon, I just haven't been writing lately. But it'll come.

I actually enjoy melancholy poetry. I was emo before emo was retarded. :P

but really, I've always enjoyed depressing poetry and music, I'm the kind of bloke who likes rainy days and reads in the bathtub.

Post your melancholy, and I will read it.

[The_Nameless]

::runs in to see new poem:: :D

Post your melancholy, and I will read it.

I haven't finished a new one, yet. But I found some older ones I wanted to group with these.

This one has always been a personal favourite.

Remembrance

Your name seems to be nothing more
than a whisper on my breath.
A bittersweet taste of a time now lost.
I often ponder if we'll ever meet again.
It's been oh so long since I've seen your face.

I'm falling deeper into this hole I've dug for myself.
I will lie here and pine away.
My heart longs,aches for you.
My sweetest obession, you leave me here
shattered, torn, and broken
calling out for your touch.
Save me from the comfort of this darkness
I can't seem to find my way out of.

That Look

A noticable absence of passion in your eyes;
it all lacks the beauty it deserves.
A caricature likeness of what it once was.
To be able to free fall without fear,
this is my dream.

Maybe I can manage to say something, anything meaningful.
A subtle drop of tone. A sudden lack of desire.
In seconds the difference in your voice is phenomenal.
What if it is a day without sunshine?
So what if it is a temperature drop?
There are no disguises for your mistakes.
They stick out like a glaring omission.
I can't help but notice a certain emptiness,
you've definitely managed to change.
I can't say I am happy with the transistion.

Spouting out words with no pertinence to the situation at hand.
You lash out with unwonted virulency.

Desires

I get lost in her lips -- so much like the scarlet petals of an exotic flower.
I become lost in this exquiste beauty, fascinated by the pulsing, parting petals of life.
This is all that I can see, everything else is non-existant, nowhere in my sights.
Like some unseen force, like magnetism; I find myself drawn to them.
A collision comes next; I connect to those lovely petals and drink of them.
I drink long, deep, deep, deeper into it's sweet promises and delights.

Untitled

Whore with no mother.
"More", she cries. "More and More".
Her of the most foul and the sweetest tongue.
Whispering words that send messages of ecstasy;
luring into worlds of unimaginable euphoria,
just to tear you out into agony at a whim of her will.

Her that can blind all, make you feeble and helpless
as the freshest of newborns.
She who is far from innocent, but in no way unpure.
Treacherous fiend, lovliest of all that is sweet.
Drown thy senses and make thee the fool of the land.

I long for your embrace and crave your grace.
Whisper onto me and make me yours.
Cast me upon countless others of your charms.
I loathe thee and adore thee.
Forget me not in your travels.

Star-Struck Wishes -or- Celestial Wishes

Starry, Starry Night.
Please listen to my prayers tonight.
I've got about a million things that I could wish,
but it is the loved feeling I mainly miss.
To my soul, it feels like it has been gone for too long.
And I feel that my heart keeps singing that same old song.
So tonight, I will beg for a new love.
Tonight, my pain will be aimed at these stars hanging above.
Maybe tonight, the stars will finally listen,
and send that feeling I have so dearly been missing.

[John Blaze]

Star Struck Wishes is certainly my favorite, it rolls off the tongue. Poetry, i believe, is meant to be read out loud. It works well with yours.

one small critique. I don't think "unwonted piquantness" works very well. Literally it means Uncommon Sexyness, or something, right? why not a variant? Pull up the thesaurus!

I'm an Asshole and I approve this message.

[Candice Dionysus]

I like the words "unwonted piquantness". They made me think. XD

Though, my favorite would have to be, of those ones posted, That Look, though it will probably remain that my all-time favorite is still Summer Breeze.

[The_Nameless]

Star Struck Wishes is certainly my favorite, it rolls off the tongue. Poetry, i believe, is meant to be read out loud. It works well with yours.

one small critique. I don't think "unwonted piquantness" works very well. Literally it means Uncommon Sexyness, or something, right? why not a variant? Pull up the thesaurus!

I'm an Asshole and I approve this message.

Here is what dictionary.com came up with for wont
1. accustomed; used (usually fol. by an infinitive): He was wont to rise at dawn.
2. custom; habit; practice: It was her wont to walk three miles before breakfast.
3. to accustom (a person), as to a thing.
4. to render (a thing) customary or usual (usually used passively).
5. Archaic. to be wont.

I was going for the second one.

And here is what dictionary.com had for piquant.
1. agreeably pungent or sharp in taste or flavor; pleasantly biting or tart: a piquant aspic.
2. agreeably stimulating, interesting, or attractive: a piquant glance.
3. of an interestingly provocative or lively character: a piquant wit.
4. Archaic. sharp or stinging, esp. to the feelings.

I was thinking along the lines of the fourth one.

But I tend to agree with you about the line; it doesn't really seem to fit into the poem. I'll have to find something else.

I went with virulency instead. I think it flows well.


Though, my favorite would have to be, of those ones posted, That Look, though it will probably remain that my all-time favorite is still Summer Breeze.

I'm pretty fond of That Look, also.

[Candice Dionysus]

Virulency works, too... <3
It still makes me think, so it does the trick.

[The_Nameless]

Virulency works, too... <3
It still makes me think, so it does the trick.

So it goes good?

Awesome.:thumbsup:

[Jon]

I like how you had such messages but managed to keep your poems on the "light" side.

This is something I need to learn.

Thank you for posting them.

[Frunobulax]

Very nice poetry, Daniel! I quite enjoy the second run of poems, although your first set posted are good, also.

[The_Nameless]

Very nice poetry, Daniel! I quite enjoy the second run of poems, although your first set posted are good, also.

Thank you much. The second set is also my preference; it has my two favourite poems, Remembrance and That Look.

[Jon]

More please.

[The_Nameless]

I am feeling like the end.
The ends are fraying, and I am starting to follow.

I am afraid to sleep, because of the thoughts that trail my every move.
Lonliness sneaks in like a bandit, stealing hope like jewelry.

Something tells me it is all worth it, but it seems like such a lie.

Car rides only magnify the thoughts, drilling through like bullets in the concrete.

If I could hand you the truth, would you be able to handle it?
I know I am unable to.
It bores through me like drill bits, plowing through stone and rock.

If I could hide myself away from me, I would.
Seperate the mind from body, and ride out the sunset.
Light rays keep the distance.

[Steve]

I like the imagery in that last one. Keep 'em rollin'!