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View Full Version : Most awkward thing to hear during sex



Raron
02-21-2008, 02:04 PM
Okay people, let's play with the minds of all, the object of the game is to top the person before you, to think of something more awkward, more horrible, more tramitising to hear in the midst of sex then the person before you. The grand prize winner gets to pay for our therapy.



I will start us off....


"PIKACHU I CHOOSE YOU!"

fernandito
02-21-2008, 02:07 PM
I'm not sure how anyone can top that :rofl:

OchrisO
02-21-2008, 02:26 PM
"You remind me so much of my dad."

Daghain
02-21-2008, 02:29 PM
OMG LOL I can't even come up with anything CLOSE to topping that! :rofl:

fernandito
02-21-2008, 02:29 PM
I stand corrected.

Raron
02-21-2008, 02:45 PM
HAPPY BIRTHDAY GRANDMA!

fernandito
02-21-2008, 02:58 PM
I wish you were real.

Girlystevedave
02-21-2008, 03:23 PM
Where do I put it again?

Shelbs
02-21-2008, 03:26 PM
When he asks, "Is it in yet?"

OchrisO
02-21-2008, 03:27 PM
"Here, Lassie!"

Matt
02-21-2008, 03:28 PM
When he asks, "Is it in yet?"

Or she asks that. :panic:

How about..."Thank bob I'm not in a flare up"

Storyslinger
02-22-2008, 07:56 AM
"Can we turn on the news?"

mia/susannah
02-22-2008, 08:03 AM
are you done already?

Storyslinger
02-22-2008, 08:04 AM
*fart*

ATG
02-22-2008, 08:18 AM
The sound of...erm...reverse female flatulence?

As in P***y fart.

fernandito
02-22-2008, 08:50 AM
There's a word for that, ATG. :D

Starts with a Q...

Girlystevedave
02-22-2008, 09:01 AM
queef right?

Odetta
02-22-2008, 11:26 AM
"If you want it wetter I can rip of the scabs."




ugh, I just completely disgusted myself

Storyslinger
02-22-2008, 11:28 AM
*door opens*

"Mommy?!"

Letti
02-22-2008, 11:38 AM
Okay people, let's play with the minds of all, the object of the game is to top the person before you, to think of something more awkward, more horrible, more tramitising to hear in the midst of sex then the person before you. The grand prize winner gets to pay for our therapy.



I will start us off....


"PIKACHU I CHOOSE YOU!"

I must stay this is the weirdest thing I have ever heard... I have met it before as well and I laughed my ass off and I couldn't stop it... really.
It's the top of the mountain.

Kevin
02-22-2008, 01:07 PM
http://www.strangeplaces.net/weirdthings/sex.html

Raron
02-23-2008, 05:30 AM
YES YES YES.... can you be a dear and hand me my yeast infection medicine?

ATG
02-23-2008, 06:14 AM
queef right?


It's spelled quiff.

Brice
02-23-2008, 06:29 AM
queef right?


It's spelled quiff.

Actually, as various slang dictionaries differ on the correct spelling I'd suggest that both would be proper.

Bethany
02-23-2008, 06:39 AM
"ow!"

from either partner.

Armand St Pierre
02-23-2008, 02:01 PM
"I'm so glad you don't have genital warts like my previous partner.":cool:

Matt
02-23-2008, 02:39 PM
the safe word :ninja:

blake316
02-23-2008, 03:26 PM
MONKEYFACE

Jon
02-24-2008, 02:30 AM
Sister to brother: "You f**k just like Dad.

Brother to sister: Yeah...that's what Mom says.

Raron
02-24-2008, 08:32 AM
I hope you don't mind me wearing a costume.
*puts on a costume making her look like bill clinton*
Kiss me sweetheart.

Girlystevedave
02-24-2008, 07:52 PM
"Wow, it's roomy in here."

Brice
02-24-2008, 07:55 PM
This is a really good book I'm reading now. You should check it out.

Jon
02-25-2008, 03:56 AM
So... why do they call you "The Black Widow?"

LadyHitchhiker
02-25-2008, 08:07 AM
"What that do?"

Daghain
02-25-2008, 06:59 PM
"Well, my wife likes it like that."

Sai Joshua
02-25-2008, 07:41 PM
"Could you hurry please? My husband will be home in about 20 minutes"

William50
02-25-2008, 07:53 PM
"What the fuck is that smell"?

Odetta
02-25-2008, 08:37 PM
Is it in yet?

Letti
02-25-2008, 10:16 PM
"Would you like to play chess?"

Daghain
02-25-2008, 10:18 PM
OW!!!! :lol:

"I won't come in your mouth."

(Oh, come on, you all knew it would be said!) :lol:

Letti
02-25-2008, 10:20 PM
"What's your opinion about the world peace? If you ask me..."

Amok
02-25-2008, 10:24 PM
Did you have Mac & Cheese again?

Daghain
02-25-2008, 10:31 PM
:lol:

"Does mom know you're here?"

Odetta
02-26-2008, 07:44 AM
"now... where did I leave the thumb tacks and paint stripper? Stay right there, dear!"

Matt
02-26-2008, 08:30 AM
"What's your opinion about the world peace? If you ask me..."

:rofl:

Letti's are so funny!

Although a talk about politics in bed with her would probably be as sexy as you can get.

blake316
02-26-2008, 09:17 AM
''Ill take you for a walk in a minute, now hold still'

Letti
02-26-2008, 10:05 AM
"Elvis is alive!!!"

TerribleT
02-26-2008, 10:22 AM
DUDE!!!! What are you doing at my computer!!!!!!!

Jon
03-02-2008, 09:41 PM
No that's not whipped cream, I have a yeast infection.

obscurejude
03-02-2008, 09:43 PM
Its bigger than my husband's.

Girlystevedave
03-02-2008, 09:44 PM
No that's not whipped cream, I have a yeast infection.

Oh, that's pretty bad

Jon
03-02-2008, 09:49 PM
No that's not whipped cream, I have a yeast infection.

Oh, that's pretty bad

I am a bad man.

Girlystevedave
03-02-2008, 09:53 PM
If those words have been uttered, I think it's the woman that is truly the bad one.

obscurejude
03-02-2008, 09:55 PM
Jon, can you phrase that in an inductive way similar to the Summa Thelogicae? I.e. post the question, three objections, answer to the three objections and a final answer. That would be funny as hell.

Jon
03-02-2008, 11:00 PM
Jon, can you phrase that in an inductive way similar to the Summa Thelogicae? I.e. post the question, three objections, answer to the three objections and a final answer. That would be funny as hell.

The stage is set...you do the honor.

obscurejude
03-02-2008, 11:05 PM
Jon, I'm too drunk. Coming attractions maybe... I have a hard time reading the Summa, much less emulating scholasticism.

Jon
03-02-2008, 11:49 PM
Jon, I'm too drunk. Coming attractions maybe... I have a hard time reading the Summa, much less emulating scholasticism.

And I just dropped some acid.

obscurejude
03-03-2008, 08:50 AM
:excited:

Shelbs
03-03-2008, 10:08 AM
"I promise it'll get bigger, baby!"

Brice
03-03-2008, 10:09 AM
It IS hard. :angry:


:rofl:

Shelbs
03-03-2008, 10:17 AM
:lol:


Never, have I ever heard that one. *whistles innocently*

LadyHitchhiker
03-04-2008, 12:45 PM
Hold on... I hear something dripping from the kitchen... I can't concentrate.

Girlystevedave
03-04-2008, 01:05 PM
The sound of Whoosh whoosh pants

LadyHitchhiker
03-04-2008, 01:16 PM
The sound of awesome possums entering the room while I'm zazzing...

bergy81
04-06-2008, 08:42 PM
The dreaded "I Love You". :rolleyes: Man thats awkward.

Letti
04-06-2008, 09:34 PM
"Luke I am your father."

ZoNeSeeK
04-06-2008, 11:18 PM
"I think you just hammered that stray tampon through my cervix."

Odetta
04-07-2008, 07:15 AM
"Move your foot, ZoNe!" ;)

bergy81
04-08-2008, 10:38 PM
Whats for dinner?

Storyslinger
04-09-2008, 05:53 AM
I'm pretty sure it will. Especially if you keep the purple blade of grass in your mind while you do it.

Jon
04-13-2008, 09:36 PM
So...cum here often?

/k/ommando
04-16-2008, 06:58 PM
By the way, I just engaged Stephany. Aren't you happy for me?

bergy81
04-18-2008, 06:07 PM
"How Much is this this gonna cost?"

Girlystevedave
04-19-2008, 05:03 AM
"How Much is this this gonna cost?"


"I think I want my money back after this."

bergy81
04-19-2008, 10:00 PM
Welcome to the world of aids!!!

Jon
04-19-2008, 10:22 PM
Don't you have a pediatrician's appointment in the morning?

LadyHitchhiker
04-20-2008, 01:19 PM
You're a male, right?

bergy81
04-20-2008, 07:38 PM
I cant believe how easy you were to get in bed.

Raron
04-22-2008, 12:53 PM
stay right there, I wanna call grandma and tell her about this.

LadyHitchhiker
04-22-2008, 01:03 PM
A-W-K-W-A-R-D this is awkward, yeah awkward!!

EXPLORER
04-22-2008, 02:46 PM
WHO'S NEXT?

LadyHitchhiker
04-22-2008, 03:00 PM
I think you're doing that wrong...

bergy81
04-22-2008, 09:32 PM
You're mom was better.

Letti
04-22-2008, 09:48 PM
stay right there, I wanna call grandma and tell her about this.


WHO'S NEXT?

:lol:

ZoNeSeeK
04-22-2008, 10:13 PM
"Here puss puss! Creamy snack for puss puss!"

bergy81
04-25-2008, 12:10 AM
Wow! I've never seen beef-curtains hang that low before.

Jon
04-26-2008, 11:12 PM
So...when is the Prom?

Girlystevedave
04-28-2008, 02:40 PM
Before I go down there, let me ask, do you have any salt or pepper?

ZoNeSeeK
04-28-2008, 10:01 PM
"Wow, you feel just like my dog."

Stinga of A-Town
05-02-2008, 08:09 AM
Awkward huh?
Well (True story) how about the shower wall caving in?
Thats kinda awkward.

Still finished though!
My wife is a trooper!

bergy81
05-13-2008, 07:51 AM
Gross, one of your hemorrhoids just popped on me.

Girlystevedave
05-13-2008, 01:43 PM
Eeeew! That's gross.

That was in ref to the above post, but...I guess it could go either way

Letti
05-13-2008, 01:46 PM
What the blue hell....?!?!?!?!? I mean could you turn off the light to make it even more romantic?

Bookworm 101
05-13-2008, 06:05 PM
hey! watch the stitches, I'm not healed yet from my sex change.

ZoNeSeeK
05-13-2008, 11:59 PM
'Is that your cock? It looks H I L A R I O U S!'

Jon
05-17-2008, 10:37 PM
If you act now, for $19.95 you get...

Disturbed Angel
05-18-2008, 03:47 PM
Daddy doesnt do it like that....


(thats just gross! lol)

Woofer
05-18-2008, 03:54 PM
"Jumpin' Jehosephat!"

I actually heard that dubbed in a bad French porn flick from the 70s.

Jon
05-19-2008, 08:46 AM
Do you have AIDS? Good 'cause I'd hate to get that again!

Raron
06-09-2008, 03:11 PM
MY GOD YOU ARE BETTER THEN THE ZOO MONKEYS!

LadyHitchhiker
06-13-2008, 06:38 AM
Booooooooooooo

mallory
06-13-2008, 08:52 AM
watch out for that car....

Matticus-Finch
07-13-2008, 12:25 PM
Can we try again in 10 minutes? I'm not drunk enough.

LadyHitchhiker
07-14-2008, 12:49 PM
you smell like bacon...

Raron
07-14-2008, 01:05 PM
Hey... are condoms supposed to have huge rips in them when you are done with them?

Girlystevedave
07-14-2008, 05:26 PM
When we're done, do you mind checking out this rash I have?

The Lady of Shadows
07-14-2008, 08:12 PM
badgerbadgerbadgerbadgerbadger
mushroom mushroom
a snake a snake oh, it's a snake

Letti
07-14-2008, 10:56 PM
A B C D E F G...

...

H I J K L M N O P Q...

LadyHitchhiker
07-15-2008, 04:10 AM
OW! MY EYE!!!

Tiffany
07-15-2008, 06:09 AM
http://mail2.someecards.com/filestorage/val_31.jpg

The Lady of Shadows
07-15-2008, 10:49 AM
"you know, if you move to the left just a little bit you can feel the scar where my circumcision went wrong"

Poisonbat
07-15-2008, 11:25 AM
Hurry up, the comercial is over.:excited:

Lee
07-15-2008, 11:28 AM
Is it in?

(probably been used before but it still makes me laugh) :P

lophophoras
07-15-2008, 01:15 PM
That was great Bob! But her name is actually Susan. Oppss..


:doh:

Jon
07-18-2008, 10:28 PM
Valhalla awaits you!

The Lady of Shadows
07-18-2008, 11:28 PM
would you like to swing on a star
carry moonbeams home in a jar
or be better off than you are
or would you rather be a fish?

Raron
07-29-2008, 01:19 PM
I HAVE A SQUIRREL!!!!

William50
07-29-2008, 01:27 PM
I HAVE A SQUIRREL!!!!

When would a thing like that come up during sex? :unsure:

The Lady of Shadows
07-29-2008, 04:21 PM
I HAVE A SQUIRREL!!!!

When would a thing like that come up during sex? :unsure:

when would any of these come up during sex? that's the whole point. :ninja:

Letti
07-29-2008, 09:44 PM
Luke! I am your father!

obscurejude
07-29-2008, 09:51 PM
Luke! I am your father!

My saber has a mind of its own Luke, red with the fury of my passion.

The Lady of Shadows
07-30-2008, 06:55 AM
it's a mongoose!

Raron
07-30-2008, 04:31 PM
I HAVE A SQUIRREL!!!!

When would a thing like that come up during sex? :unsure:

During your climax, just before your partners... all the better to mess with them.

Ves'Ka Gan
07-31-2008, 05:44 PM
Are you close? If not...could you be?

The Lady of Shadows
07-31-2008, 06:44 PM
do you always hum the "battle hymn of the republic" during sex like that?

LadyHitchhiker
08-01-2008, 04:43 AM
I'm gonna poop!

Brice
08-01-2008, 04:48 AM
"It rubs the lotion on it's skin or else it gets the hose again"

LadyHitchhiker
08-01-2008, 04:50 AM
I do not like it here or there
I do not like it any where...

theBeamisHome
08-01-2008, 11:08 AM
hey do you have any hot sauce?

LadyHitchhiker
08-02-2008, 06:09 PM
AHHHHHH!!!! IT BURNS!! IT BURNS!!!!!!!

Raron
08-03-2008, 03:04 PM
Yes yes yes... oh that sounds like my mom's car pulling into the drive way... YES! YES! YES!

LadyHitchhiker
08-03-2008, 03:45 PM
Grandma?