First drafts of famous lines that didn't quite cut it--make up your own

[divemaster]

Kittens. Why did it have to be kittens?

Love means having to say you're sorry, even when you're not because you didn't do anything you consider wrong, but your partner thinks you did.

You had me at "Yo bitch; How you doin?"

!!Mr. Noonien Siiiiiiiingh!!

[Mattrick]

Frankly my dear, I dont give two shits."

[Still Servant]

Frankly my dear, I dont give two shits."

"YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE FACTUAL STATEMENTS I'VE JUST MADE!!"

[Ben Staad]

"Life is a like one of those big jars of jelly beans. You know the jars that you're supposed to guess how many are in the jar. I counted and there were 3,119. Why don't people just count them?"

[Mattrick]

"As a guy who is real I can like get defeated, but as this drawing, I can like, be undead and stuff."

[Ben Staad]

"I'll be right back."

[divemaster]

"Go with your gut feeling, Luke."

"We're going to need a boat that's a little bit bigger than the one we've got."

[needfulthings]

CONSTRICTED IT MATER!... PINNACLE OF THE GLOBE!
Proceed, Plan yours truly's 24 hour agenda.
DRIED GRASS... FATHER!!

[Mattrick]

Leeloo Dallas, pass that does multiple things."

"That's not a rock bereft of atmosphere orbiting a planetary body, that is an extraterrestrial multi-functional habitat weapon that docks ships like ours."

[Brian861]

Yippie-ki-yay, pumpkin!!

[stroppygoblin]

Who's Zee?
Zee's passed away baby.

[divemaster]

Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You offed my dad. I'm really bummed about that.

[Mattrick]

I see people that have expired.

In your head movies?

No.

When do you see them?

All the time. They go on about their days like normal people. They do not understand they be dead.

Can your mom afford diazapam?

You saw my house.

[Merlin1958]

The man in fusia (and a smart scarf) fled across the desert and the gunslinger followed.

[needfulthings]

When contained in a vacuum it's useless to release your fear vocally on deaf ears.
The communications device has also expired.
"MISS PENNINO"
Unblock the barrier between myself and the storage container compartment... COMPUTER!
Get behind me and proceed down this path made of building materials the color of cowardice.

[Mattrick]

Tag along with me if you don't wish to die at this moment.

[bugen]

Luke, I am the one who slept with your mother.

[Tommy]

METEOR EXCREMENT!!

[Tommy]

Here is Johnny!

They're called titties mama and every girl has them!

The Comedy! The Comedy!

[Tommy]

I'm a Bat but I'm also a Man.

[Tommy]

Don't Come Back Shane! Don't Come back!!!

[Tommy]

I'm going to suggest a reasonable exchange that he won't be able to turn down.

[Tommy]

You can hear me can't you Tommy??

[Tommy]

'Twas this really hot chick that killed that big ape over there.

[Tommy]

The crap that dreams are made of...

[Tommy]

OK I'll stop now...sorry :redface:

[Br!an]

It was a schizophrenic time.

[needfulthings]

The gang and myself are not required to possess these metal objects...That are shaped like a star an emit an offensive odor!
It is unnecessary for us to put these smelly authoritative symbols on display for your ocular nerves to comprehend their existence.

[Ben Staad]

Every Time a Bell Rings an Angel Gets a big fat bonus.

[T-Dogz_AK47]

Go ahead, make my afternoon.

[Tommy]

Rosebush

[needfulthings]

Verbally express your salutations to my height challenged comrade!
My nostrils are passionately aroused by gelling agent & petroleum...Just as the sun comes up.

[Tommy]

Tony is a small male that hangs out in my oral cavity.

[needfulthings]

NEVER utilize drawn metal that is bent into triangles with a hook on the top and used to suspend clothes in a small room.

[Tommy]

Present me with monetary units

[divemaster]

My nostrils are passionately aroused by gelling agent & petroleum...Just as the sun comes up.

I hate the smell of napalm in the morning; it really does a number on my sinuses.

[divemaster]

(Rene Descartes): I think, therefore... I yam what I yam! Aaa ga ga ga ga ga ga!

[Tommy]

Saigon, cacadoodypoopoo

[Tommy]

Tell my tiny acquaintance howdy please

[Mattrick]

NOONANNNNNNNNNNNNNNN

[Ben Staad]

"I can see your dirty jugs. Everyone will."

[Mattrick]

Forget it, Jake. It's a Synecdoche of China.

[amd013]

Ah... Are you telling me that you built a time machine... out of a Volkswagen bug?

[Sai Sheb]

Built it and still no one will come ...

I am the one who knocks... hi do you know where God is?

Say hello to my little friend, he's my newt...