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Empath of the White
04-24-2013, 06:55 PM
To convey motivation and keep the story in the present would this suffice:

"Kiliastor cracked the harpy across her ribs with his staff, flinging her off. When he looked, the harpy was gone--there was the greasy, weak-eyed sex slaver whom the Dragon King had given the shaman's daughter. A feral grin spread across Kiliastor's weathered face as he ducked a blow and lunged upward, driving the end of his staff through the bridge of the sex slaver's nose. In the crunch of bone and the crack of head hitting stone, the sex slaver's phantasm vanished; the pinned harpy twitched and died."

Instead of a more protracted flashback showing Kiliastor watching as the Dragon King punished his failure by trading his daughter to a sex slaver. I realize this is probably a bit hot button; I saw a documentary expose that inspired me to use the scum as antagonists in my work. The gist is that this Dragon King Kiliastor decided to serve during the 19 Year War in Norskavia set him up for an assignment that didn't lineup with his goals. Thus he decided to botch the assignment and tried to shift the blame onto one of the Dragon King's other servants. This is Kiliastor's punishment: his daughter being broken and forced to grovel for the Dragon King's mercy (since its not permissible for an entity to directly force mortals to serve them).

The above keeps with the present events in the chapter while, I think, revealing enough about why Kiliastor would be working against the Dragon King at the start of my work.