Parodies

[LadyHitchhiker]

In my spare time, I like to make parodies. Especially lately ones that include the Dark Tower.... anyone who wants to share parodies of The Dark Tower, please feel free! I love them!!!! :excited: I thought we could enclose here our Dark Tower parodies... Hope this hasn't been done before... hope you guys have fun with this. Also, if you want to put any other kinds of parodies in here, what they hey? Cuz I certainly have done that too!

WARNING SPOILERS THROUGHOUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!! If you have not finished the series and don't want it spoiled, don't bother coming here, missies and misters!

So here's some of my favorite ones, to start with:

Red King Arising to tune of Bad Moon Arising

I see the Red King arising.
I see trouble on the way.
I see Beamquakes and lightnin.
I see bad times for you today.

Dont go around tonight,
Well, he's bound to take your life,
Theres a Red King on the rise.

I hear the dark winds ablowing.
I know beam's end is coming soon.
I fear feelings over flowing.
I hear the voice of rage and ruin.

Dont mess around tonight,
Well, he's bound to change your life,
Theres a Red King on the rise.
All right!

Hope you got your shit together.
Hope you are quite prepared to die.
Looks like were in for nasty weather.
A gunslinger's going to die tonight.

Dont mess around tonight,
Well, he's bound to change your life,
Theres a Red King on the rise.
Dont go around tonight,
Well, he's bound to change your life,
Theres a Red King on the rise.


Pretty Mordred to tune of Pretty Woman
Pretty Mordred, crawling down the street
Pretty Mordred, the kind who likes to eat
Pretty Mordred
I don't believe you, you can't be true
No one could look as good as you
Mercy

Pretty Mordred, won't you pardon me
Pretty Mordred, I couldn't help see
Pretty Mordred
That you look lovely as can be
Are you hungry just like me
Wow

Pretty Mordred, stop a while
Pretty Mordred, talk a while
Pretty Mordred, gave your smile to me
Pretty Mordred, yeah yeah yeah
Pretty Mordred, look my way
Pretty Mordred, say you'll stay with me
'Cause I need you, I'll treat you right
Come spiderbaby, be mine tonight

Pretty Mordred, don't walk on by
Pretty Mordred, make me cry
Pretty Mordred, don't walk away, hey...okay
If that's the way it must be, okay
I guess I'll go to the tower, it's late
There'll be tomorrow night, but wait
What do I see
Is he crawling back to me
Yeah, he's crawling back to me
Oh, oh, Pretty Mordred


I would do anything for Los, But I Won't do that to tune of And I Would Do Anything For Love But I Won't Do That
And I would do anything for Los, I'd run right into hell and back
I would do anything for Los, I'll never lie to you or break my pact
But I'll never forget the way you make me feel right now, oh no, no way
And I would do anything for Los, but I won't do that, I won't do that
Anything for Los, oh I would do anything for Los
I would do anything for Los, but I won't do that, oh I won't do that

Some days I can't be easy, and some days you can't be hard
Some days we don't come at all, and these are the days that never end
Some nights you're breathing fire, and some nights I'm carved in ice
Some nights we're changing the world into what we want it be again

Maybe I'm crazy, but it's crazy and it's true
I know you can save me, no one else can save me now but you

As long as the beams are breaking, as long as the Earth is shaking
As long our dreams are coming true, you better believe it

That I would do anything for Los, and I'll be there til the final act
I would do anything for Los, and I'll take a vow and seal a pact

But I'll never forgive myself if we don't break a beam tonight
And I would do anything for Los, oh I would do anything for Los
Oh I would do anything for Los, but I won't do that, no I won't do that

I would do anything for Los, anything you've been dreaming of
But I just won't do that
(repeats 3x)

(Solo)

Some days I pray for silence, somedays I pray for your soul
Some days I just pray to the God of Sex and Drums and Discordia
Some nights I lose all feeling, and some nights I lose control
Some nights I just lose it all when I watch you dance and the thunder rolls

Maybe I'm lonely and just a lonely llama fox Taheen
There's just one and only, the one and only promise I can really mean

As long as the wheels of Anti-Ka are turning, as long as the fire inside me's burning
As long as your plans are coming true, you better believe it

That I would do anything for Los, and you know it's true and that's a fact
I would do anything for Los, and there'll never be no turning back

But I'll never break better than I break with you, so long, so long
And I would do anything for Los, oh I would do anything for Los
I would do anything for Los, but I won't do that, no no no I won't do that

I would do anything for Los, anything you've been dreaming of
But I just won't do that
(repeats 7x)

But I'll never stop dreaming of you every night of my life, no way

And I would do anything for Los, oh I would do anything for Los
I would do anything for Los, but I won't do that, no I won't do that

[Girl:] Will you raise me up, will you help me from being down?
Will you get me right out of this Godforsaken town?
Will you make it all a little less cold?

[Boy:] I can do that! I can do that!

[Girl:] Will you hold me sacred? Will you hold me tight?
Can you colorize my life, I'm so sick of red and white?
Can you make me feel a little less old?

[Boy:] I can do that! Oh oh, now I can do that!

[Girl:] Will you make me some magic, with your own two hands?
Can you build a tower before me with these grains of sand?
Can you give me something I can call home?

[Boy:] I can do that! Oh oh now, I can do that!

[Girl:] Will you cater to every fantasy I got?
Will ya hose me down with holy water, if I get too hot?
Will you take me places I've never known?

[Boy:] I can do that! Oh oh now, I can do that!

[Girl:] After a while you'll forget everything
It was a brief interlude and a midsummer night's fling
And you'll see that it's time for the world to move on

[Boy:] I won't do that! No I won't do that!

[Girl:] I know the territories, I've been around
It'll all turn to dust and we'll all fall down
And sooner or later, you'll be screwing around

[Boy:] I won't do that! No I won't do that!

Anything for Los, oh I would do anything for Los
I would do anything for Los, but I won't do that, no I won't do that

(Many more to come...)

[LadyHitchhiker]

I made one to the tune of Rose Tints My World from Rocky Horror Picture Show and is as follows below:

Susan:
It was great when it all began
I was a regular Roland fan.
But it was over when I found out his plan
to start walking towards the tower land
Now theo nly thing that gives me hope
is my love of a certain dope
A rose in my world
will keep me safe from my trouble and pain.

Eddie:
I just gave up drugs seven hours ago.
I'm truly clever or so I'm told
And someone should be told
My sense of humor's never been controlled
Now the only thing I've come to trust
is a gun and this gal I lust
A rose in my world
will keep me safe from my trouble and pain.

Jake: It's beyond me, help me Mommy
I'll shoot good, you'll see
Take my father's face away
What's this? I see? The tower before me.
What's come over me!
Whoo! There is is again!

Oy: 'Oa.. I am 'e'leased
'ad 'imes de'eased
'y 'ocabulary's increased
the kat-tet 'as been disbanded
'y 'ind 'as been expanded
It's a 'rip 'ince Roland's 'anded
His quest is so sincere!

Roland: Whatever happened to O'dim?
For many a year I chased him
as my mule began to die
oh how I started to cry
cause I knew I'd have to walk the rest of the way.
Give up every special pleasure.
Forget all the needs of the flesh.
We'll follow the tower, take any measure
and fight all the succubi who offer us pleasure.
Can't you just see it?
Don't dream it, be it, don't dream it, be it
Don't dream it, be it, don't dream it, be it
Don't dream it, be it, don't dream it, be it
Don't dream it, be it, don't dream it, be it

Father Callahan: We've got to stop following this man before our souls can't be redeemed from all the kills. I've got to be strong and try to hang on or else my mind may very well snap and my life will be lived for the kills!

Jake: It's beyond me, help me Mommy

Susan: I think I really need a beer.

Roland My my my, my my my my my My my my my my-y I'm a wild and an untamed thing
Run away from the damn taheen
We'll run to the tower and our guns will sling
Your heart'll thump and your blood will sing
So let the ka-tet all rock on
I'm gonna shake it 'til the last one's gone gone gone
A rose in my world
will keep me safe from my trouble and pain.

All: We're a wild and an untamed thing
Run away from the damn taheen
We'll run to the tower and our guns will sling
Your heart'll thump and your blood will sing
So let the ka-tet all rock on
We're gonna shake it 'til the last one's gone gone gone
A rose in my world
will keep me safe from my trouble and pain.

Crimson King: Roland Deschain you must loop again
You dropped the horn of eld,
didn't love anyone besides your girl you see
I'm the new commander, you now are the prisoner
We return to Keystone Earth, don't forget the Black 19.

[LadyHitchhiker]

Suddenly Roland to tune of Suddenly Seymoure

[Roland]
Lift up your head
Eat a tooterfish sandwich
Here, take some astin
Put your wheelchair away
Forget not your father's face, we'll walk till it's mornin'
I know things'll get bad, but you'll be okay

Suddenly Roland is standin' beside you
You don't need no jewelery, just us to defend
Suddenly Roland is here to provide you
A little heavy-handing
Roland's your friend

[Susannah]
Nobody ever treats me unkindly
Daddy was a dentist
Mama was sure
Ive met this new man and I'll follow him blindly
He's missing a few fingers
But that makes me more sure

Suddenly Roland is standin' beside me
He gives the right orders
He don't condescend
Suddenly Roland is here to provide me
A little heavy-handing
Roland's my friend

[Roland]
Tell me this journey won't last forever
Tell me the good times won't be swept away

[Susannah]
Please understand that it's still strange and fright'nin'
For a ka-tet like ours is it's so hard to say

[Roland]
Suddenly Roland,
He purified me
Suddenly Roland
He showed me I can
Learn how to be more
The girl that's inside me
with a little heavy-handing
with a little heavy-handing
with a little heavy-handing
Roland's the man!

[Roland] [Susannah] [Rest of Ka-tet]
Suddenly Roland,
He purified you
Suddenly Roland
Yes, you can
Learn how to be more
The girl that's inside you
with a little heavy-handing
with a little heavy-handing
with a little heavy-handing
Roland's our man

[LadyHitchhiker]

Something to Believe in

Well I see him in the desert
Preachin bout the promised land
Brown tells me to believe in Jesus
And steals the dreams from my head

Some say he was a good man
But lord I think he sinned, yeah

Many forgotten years of mental tears
From a newly formed ka-tet
Who saw Roland losing fingers on a foreign shore
and find his home would never see him back

His travels took his hawk in his test for manhood
Fire took his wife and that's his one regret
In a time he can't remember
On a quest he can't forget

He cried forgive me for what I've done there
Cause I never meant the things I did

Chorus:
And give me something to believe in
If theres a tower ahead
And give me something to believe in
Oh, lord arise

His last girl died a sad woman
After loving her in her room
Something now he still can't believe
It should have been all over the news

He tried all night not to break down and cry
As the tears never stained his face
He felt so cold and empty
Like a lost soul out of place

And the mirror, mirror on the wall
Sees my smile fade again

Chorus
And give me something to believe in
If theres a tower ahead
And give me something to believe in
Oh, lord arise

Sometimes I wish to Gan I didnt know now
The things I didn't know then
Road you gotta take me home

Solo

I drive by the low people sleeping on a cold dark street
Like bodies in an open grave
Underneath the broken old neon sign
That used to read jesus saves

A mile away live the Luddite folk
And I see how theyre living it up
While the pubes they eat from hand to mouth
They think they're drinkin from a golden cup

And it just makes me wonder
Why so many lose, so few win

And give me something to believe in
If theres a tower ahead
And give me something to believe in
Oh, lord arise

You take the high road
And Ill take the low road

Sometimes I wish to Gan I didnt know now
The things I didnt know then

And give me something to believe in

[LadyHitchhiker]

Oops I did it again parody
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
I think I dropped him again
I made him believe we were more than just friends
Oh Jakey
It might seem like your trust
is something I take as serious
but I put up my defenses
and I am just typically me
Oh Jakey, Jakey,

Chorus:
Oops!...I dropped him again
I played with his heart, got lost in the game
Oh Jakey, Jakey
Oops!...he thinks that I'm in it for love
That I'm sent from above
I'm not that innocent

You see my problem is this
I'm running away
Wishing the tower will truly exist
I cry, watching the days
Can't you see I'm a fool in so many ways
But to put up all my defenses
That is just so typically me
Jakey, oh

Chorus:
Oops!...I dropped him again
I played with his heart, got lost in the game
Oh Jakey, Jakey
Oops!...he thinks that I'm in it for love
That I'm sent from above
I'm not that innocent

Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

Oops!...i dropped him again he fell apart
Got lost in this game, oh Jakey
Oops!...you think that I'm in it for love!
Im not that innocent

[LadyHitchhiker]

Land Down Under Parody

Traveling on a fried-out mule-beast
On the tower trail, head full of purpose
I met a man named brown, told me to say hi to Jesus
He took me in, fed me beans for breakfast
And he said
"Do you come from a land called Gilead?
Where women blow and men are gunslingers?
Are you on, are you on the way to the tower?
You better run, you better take cover."

Sitting in a plane inside another man
Smuggling drugs under a shirt Hawaiian
I said to the stewardess, "Do you speak-a my language?"
She just smiled and gave me a tooterfish sandwich
And she said,

"Do you come from a land called Gilead?
Where women blow and men are gunslingers?
Are you on, are you on the way to the tower?
You better run, you better take cover."

Talking out in the desert,
I could kill that man but it's more than he deserves
I said to the man, "Are you trying to tempt me
Because I come from the land of plenty?"
And he said,

"Oh! Do you come from a land called Gilead?
Where women blow and men are gunslingers?
Are you on, are you on the way to the tower?
You better run, you better take cover."

[LadyHitchhiker]

Parody of Slither by Velvet Revolver
When you look you see right through me,
I cut the rope, I fall to my knees,
Reborn and broken every single time,
Always lose a few more finger,
That's the spot where you run to me,
Might see some type of pleasure in my mind,

Yeah here comes the tower
It comes to wash away the sins of you and I,
This time you'll see,

When you fulfill me, you destroy me,
Rape my mind and smell the rosefields,
Reborn and bloodied every single time,
Always lose a few more fingers,
That's the spot where you might linger,
Might see some type of pleasure in my mind,

Yeah, here comes the tower,
It comes to wash away the sins of you and I,
This time you'll see, the holy tower,
It only kills you faster than you'd ever try,
This time with me,

When you look you see right through me,
I cut the rope, I fall to my knees,
Reborn and blooded every single time,

Yeah, here comes the tower,
It comes to wash away the sins of you and I,
This time you'll see, the holy tower,
It only kills you faster than you'd ever try,
This time with me,

[LadyHitchhiker]

Parody of Verve Pipes' We Were Merely Freshmen

When I was young I knew everything
a 14 year old gunslinger who never took advice
Now I'm guilt stricken, sobbin' heading to the last door
Smell the roses, take a breath once or twice

I can't be held responsible
'Cause she was looking for her father's face
I won't be held responsible
She fell in love in the first place

For the life of me I cannot remember
What made us think that we were wise and we'd never compromise
For the life of me I cannot believe we'd ever die for the tower again
We were just a ka-tet

My best friend had a drug addiction and did his best to forget her
He took a week's worth of valium and slept
And now he's guilt stricken sobbin' with his head on the floor
With her at keystone Earth and he never really wept he says

I can't be held responsible
'Cause she was looking for her father's face
I won't be held responsible
She fell in love in the first place

For the life of me I cannot remember
What made us think that we were wise and we'd never compromise
For the life of me I cannot believe we'd ever die for the tower again
We were just a ka-tet

We've never tried to wash our hands of all of this
We never talk of our lacking relationships
And how we're guilt stricken sobbin' with our heads on the floor
We let the boy fall again, when we tried not to slip, we'd say

I can't be held responsible
'Cause she was looking for her father's face
I won't be held responsible
She fell in love in the first place

For the life of me I cannot remember
What made us think that we were wise and we'd never compromise
For the life of me I cannot believe we'd ever die for these sins
We were just a ka-tet

For the life of me I cannot remember
What made us think that we were wise and we'd never compromise
For the life of me I cannot believe we'd ever die for these sins
We were just a ka-tet

We were just a ka-tet
We were just a ka-tet
We were just a ka-tet

[LadyHitchhiker]

Sweet Transvestite parody

How d'you do, I see you've spotted the hiding low men
They're just a little keyed up because when you showed up
they thought they were going to win with the dark man.
Don't get hung up by the way I look
don't judge a book by its cover
I may be missing a few fingers here or there
but I can still shoot you before you blow your cover.

I'm just a Sweet Gunslinger from Gilead now gone away.

So let me show you around, we'll listen to lobstrosities sounds
I looked through a door, thought I was in a movie
Or if you want something physical, that's not too abysmal
I can show you how to shoot a gun like me.

I'm glad we found you alone, and that we're not alone
in this world that seems to have moved on in a flurry.
We'll just go back through the door, and try to ignore
anything happened so we don't have to worry.

So you got caught on a world that you think is flat
Well children don't you panic
By the light of the night I'll make it alright
and we will all escape Fannin.

I'm just a Sweet Gunslinger from Gilead now gone away.

So why don't you stay for the night? Or maybe a bite?
I could show you my favourite obsession.
I've been following a tower and a dark man
and he's good for making a great suspension.

I'm just a Sweet Gunslinger from Gilead now gone away.

So let's go up to the tower, maybe we'll take a shower.
I see you shiver with antici... pation!
But maybe the wind isn't really the sin.
So I'll remove the cause, but not the symptom.

[LadyHitchhiker]

On the day I went away... goodbye...
Was all I had to say... now I...
I want to come again and stay... Oh my my...
Don't drop the horn and that will mean that I may

Cause I've seen the tower, through the tears
In my eyes
And I realise.. I'm going home.

Everywhere it's been the same... trying to learn some feelings...
Like I'm outside in the rain... with Susannah wheeling...
Free, to try and find a game... dealing...
Cards for prisoners, cards for bane

Cause I've seen blue skies through the tears
In my eyes
And I realise.. I'm going home.

I'm going home, I'm going home.

[LadyHitchhiker]

In Just Seven Days I can make you a man parody

A gunslinger weighing ninety-eight pounds
Will get sand in his face but will stay off the ground.
And soon after O'dim with a determined chin,
The sweat seeps from his pores as he works for his cause...
Will make him glisten... and gleam
And with sacrifice he'll follow the beams
He'll make it to the end
He'll be a strong man. Oh honey...
And the wrong man.

He'll eat tooterfish sandwiches and he'll chop off your head
try to stab a spider in the chest, arms, and legs
Such an effort if he only knew of my plan.
In just seven hours, I can bring you the tower.

He'll shoot cyborg-bears, fight men in black, and lobstrosities berserk
He thinks emotional baggage is just too hard of a word.
He's so unforgiving I just don't understand
When in just seven hours, I can bring you to the tower

[LadyHitchhiker]

Man in black, I hit the sack
Travelled too long, chasing the man in black
Saw Hax hang from the noose
Couldn't keep hangin' about
I avoid the bad weed, cause it's a bad high
Forget the hearse, 'cause I never die
I got nine lives, cat's eyes
abusing every one of them and gunning wild

[Chorus]
Chasing the man in black! Man in Black!
Chasing the man in black! Man in Black!
Chasing the man in black! Blaaack...
Chasing the man in black! Blaaack...
Back chasing the man in black!
Yes, the damn man in black!

I've formed a band, to fill what I lack
All got guns filled with bullets, we're a poewr pack
Yes I'm in a band with a gang,
gotta chase the tower, so we don't all hang
And we're back on the track, beatin the flack
Nobody's gonna make me take any of their crap
So look at me now, I'm gonna make the man pay
Don't try to push your luck, just get outta my way

[Chorus]
Let's go!

[Chorus]

Aww yeah! Let's go!
Keep on goin'! Yeah yeah!
Yeah... aww yeah yeah!
Here we go!

[Chorus]

Outta sight!

[LadyHitchhiker]

I'm A Slave For You Parody
I know I may be old now, but I've got feelings too.
And I need to do what I feel like doing.
So let me go and just listen.

All you people look at me like I'm a little boy.
Well did you ever think it be okay for you to step into my world.

Always saying little boy don't bother to step up.
Well I'm just tryin' to find out why cause the tower is all I love.

chase it chase it, chase it chase it (WHOOOA)
chase it chase it, chase it chase it (WHOOOOOA) (Do you like it)
chase it chase it, chase it chase it (OOOHHHH) (This feels good)

I know I may come off quiet, I may come off shy.
But I feel like talking, feel like dancing when I see the path in the sky.

What's practical is logical. What the hell, who cares?
All I know is I'm so happy when I see the path is there.

I'm a slave for you. I cannot hold it; I cannot control it.
I'm a slave for you. I won't deny it; I'm not trying to hide it.

Baby, don't you wanna, show the path to me,
(I just wanna dance next to you)
To another time and place.
Baby, don't you wanna, dance upon me,
(Are you ready)
Screaming out the names, my age.
(Lets go)

(Like that)
(You like it)
(Now watch me)

Get it get it, get it get it (WHOOOA)
Get it get it, get it get it (WHOOOOOA)
Get it get it, get it get it (OOOHHHH)
(Panting)

I really wanna dance, follow the path that's true
(I just can't help myself)
I really wanna do what ka tells me to.
(I just feel I let myself go)

I really wanna dance, follow the path that's true
(Wanna see you move)
I really wanna do what ka tells me to.
(Uh Uh Uh)

Baby, don't you wanna, show the path to me,
(I just wanna dance next to you)
To another time and place.
Baby, don't you wanna, show the path to me,
(Are you ready)
Screaming out the names, my age.

I'm a slave for you. (Take that) I cannot hold it; I cannot control it.
I'm a slave (It just feels right) for you. (It just feels good)
I won't deny it; I'm not trying to hide it. (Baby)

chase it chase it, chase it chase it (WHOOOA)
chase it chase it, chase it chase it (WHOOOOOA) (Do you like it)
chase it chase it, chase it chase it (OOOHHHH) (This feels good)

(Panting)

chase it chase it, chase it chase it (WHOOOA)
chase it chase it, chase it chase it (WHOOOOOA) (Do you like it)
chase it chase it, chase it chase it (OOOHHHH) (This feels good)

(Panting)

I'm a slave for you. (Here we go now)
I cannot hold it; I cannot control it.
I'm a slave for you. (Here we go) I won't deny it, (Yeah)
I'm not trying to hide it.

(Like that)

[LadyHitchhiker]

PARODY of OBJECTION BY SHAKIRA
Its not your fault that the tower's irresistable
But all the damage you cause isn't fixable
Every twenty seconds you repeat her name
But when it comes to me you dont care
If I'm alive or dead

So objection, I dont wanna be the exception
To get a bit of your attention
I love you for free know the face of my father
But you dont even bother

Objection I'm tired of your angles
Got dizzy dancing tango
Im falling apart in your hands again
No way I've got to get away

Next to its cheap stone I look minimal
Thats why in front of your eyes I'm invisible
But you gotta know small things also count
You better put your feet on the ground
And see what its about

So objection, I dont wanna be the exception
To get a bit of your attention
I love you for free know the face of my father
But you dont even bother

Objection the angles of this triangle
Got dizzy dancing tango
I'm falling apart in your hands again
No way

I wish there was a chance for you and me
I wish you would give up on the tower and we
could get away from here

This is pathetic and ironic
Its masochistic and psychotic
Tango is not for three
Was never meant to be
But you can try it
Rehearse it
Or wear out another horse
But don't you count on me
Oh don't you count on me boy!

So objection, I dont wanna be the exception
To get a bit of your attention
I love you for free know the face of my father
But you dont even bother

Objection Im tired of your angles
Got dizzy dancing tango
I'm falling apart in your hands again
No way I've got to get away

[LadyHitchhiker]

Don't Let The Sun Go Down On Me PARODY (I had to... hee hee...)
"I can't light no more of your darkness
All my pictures seem to serve the red and white
I'm growing tired and time means nothing to me
Frozen here on the ladder of my life

Too late to save Jake from falling
I took a chance and changed your way of life
But you misread my meaning when I met you
Left through a door and left me blinded by white light."

"Don't let the man in black go down on me
Although I search myself, it's always someone else I see
I'd just allow a fragment of your life to wander free
But losing everything is like the man in black going down on me"

"I can't find, oh the right romantic line
But see me once and see the way I feel
Don't discard me just because you think I mean you harm
But these cuts I have they need love to help them heal."

[LadyHitchhiker]

PARODY OF ROCKET MAN (Tick Tock MAN)
I packed my bags last night 'round Midnight
Wearing a yellow scarf around my neck
And i'm gonna be riding the mono-rail by then
I miss the earth so much i miss my life
It's lonely in this space
Listening to Velcro Fly

And i think it's gonna be a long long time
Till Gasher brings me round a kid again to mind
I'm not the man they think i am at home
Oh no no no i'm the Tick Tock man
Tick Tock man blowing out a fuse up here in Lud alone

Looking like a viking ain't a way to raise your kids
In fact I look mean as hell
And there's no one there to raise them if you did
And all this science i don't understand
It's just my job five days a week
A Tick tock man, a Tick Tock man

And i think it's gonna be a long long time...

[LadyHitchhiker]

DOOR TO DOOR (S. Cook)
Find me out awalkin', Blaine's train whistle starts acallin',
Maybe I'll stop in early, knock at your door.
Take so long to answer, Gan knows it ain't the dark man
Could be stoppin' early, going Door To Door.
Here's my latest weapon; like to show you how to use it.
First, you pull the safety then you pull the trigger.
Wipe the surface gently, try to use a circle motion,
Safety on will solve your problems, and till you're ready for the bear.
This stuff'll take infenction out if you take the right amount and;
This here'll take the pain out and the cost is fair.
Place your order early 'cause you know I'm in a hurry;
Your future's in the doorway, won't you get on board here.
Place your order early 'cause you know I'm in a hurry;
Your future's in the doorway, won't you get on board here.
Ka-tet is on the last train, all that work and no play,
Could be stoppin' early, showing you the next door.
Time for worlds to move on; pack my growbag and 'So long';
Catch you bright and early going Door To Door.
This stuff'll take infenction out if you take the right amount and;
This here'll take the pain out and the cost is fair.
Place your order early 'cause you know I'm in a hurry;
Your future's in the doorway, won't you get on board here.

[LadyHitchhiker]

Parody of I Wanna Know What Love Is
I gotta take a little time
A little time to think life over
I better read between the lines
In case I need him when I'm older

Now this tower I must climb
Feels like a burden on my shoulders
Through the clouds I see Los smile
He keeps me warm as life grows colder

In my life theres been heartache and pain
I don't know if I can face him again
Cant stop now, I've traveled so far
To change my lonely mind

I wanna know what Los is
I want you to show me
I wanna feel what Los is
I know you can show me

I'm gonna take a little time
A little time to look around me
I've got nowhere left to hide
It looks like Los has finally found me

In my life there's been heartache and pain
I don't know if I can face this again
I can't stop now, Ive traveled so far
To change this lonely mind

I wanna know what Los is
I want you to show me
I wanna feel what Los is
I know you can show me

I wanna know what Los is
I want you to show me
And I wanna feel, I want to feel what Los is
And I know, I know you can show me

Lets talk about Los
I wanna know what Los is, the Los that you feel inside
I want you to show me, and I'm feeling so much love
I wanna feel what Los is, no, you just cannot hide
I know you can show me, yeah

I wanna know what Los is, lets talk about Los
I want you to show me, I wanna feel it too
I wanna feel what Los is, I want to feel it too
And I know and I know, I know you can show me
Show me Los is real, yeah
I wanna know what Los is...

[LadyHitchhiker]

PISSING IN THE WIND (to tune of Candle in the wind)
Goodbye Roland Deschain
Though I never knew you at all
You had the grace to hold yourself
While those around you ran
Ran away from the hard work
And they whispered into your brain
They set you on the mission
And they made you scream their name

And it seems to me you lived your life
Like pissing in the wind
Never knowing who to cling to
When the rain set in
And I would have liked to have known you
But you dropped the kid
Your tower fell down long before
Your legend never did

Loneliness was tough
The toughest role you ever played
Stephen King created a superstar
And pain was the price you paid
Even when you died
Oh the junkies still rallied for you
All the papers had to say
Was that Eddie fought well in the nude

Goodbye Roland Deschain
From the young man in an area of Keystone
Who sees you as something as more than asexual
More than just roaming Roland.

[LadyHitchhiker]

CRAZY TRAIN PARODY
Crazy, but thats how it goes
Millions of luddities living assholes
Maybe its not too late
To learn how to love
And forget how to hate

My circuits aren't yet healing
Lifes a bitter shame
Im going off the rails as a crazy train

Ive listened to teachers
Ive listened to fools
I've listened to all their copouts
while they make their own rules
One person that's interesting comes to tell me riddles
all of the Luddies I give not a fiddle

I hear Luddities still screaming
Driving me insane
Im going off the rails I'm a crazy train

I know things inside are going wrong for me
You gotta listen to my words
A-yuh

Heirs of an old war
Thats what they've become
Nothing but trouble and all inheritantly dumb
Crazy, I just cannot bear
Im living with something that just isnt fair

My circuits not sure they'll be healing
Maybe Patricia's to blame
I'm going off the rails I'm a crazy train

[LadyHitchhiker]

STAIRWAY TO HEAVEN PARODY
There's a lady whose wheelchair glitters likes gold
And she's following a stairway to the tower
And when she gets there she knows if the doors are closed
She'll just have to pound them down

Oy
And she are climbing the stairway to the tower

There's a sign in the sky but she wants to be sure
And she knows words like ka-tet have two meanings
In a tree by the brook there's a metal bear losing it
She thinks Rolands thoughts may be misgiven

Oy
And she are climbing the stairway to the tower

There's a feeling she gets when she looks to the west
And her spirit is crying for leaving
In her thoughts she has seen the beam's path in the sky and the trees
And she hears the voices of her ka-tet who stand looking

Oy
And she are climbing the stairway to the tower

And it's whispered that soon, if we all call the tune
Then our Roland will lead us to reason
And a new day will dawn and we'll sing Susannah's song
And the forest will echo with laughter

And it makes me wonder

If there's a bristle in your billybumbler
Don't be alarmed now
We're just a short way from the Crimson King.

Yes there are two paths you can go by
but in the long run
There's still time to change the road you're on

Your head is humming and it won't go in case until you do know
That Roland's calling you to join him
Dear lady can't you hear the wind blow and did you know
Your tower lies on the whispering wind

And as we wind on down the road
The lady of shadows bears her soul
There walks a lady we all know
Who shines white legs and wants to show
How everything still owns is gold
And if you listen very hard
The tune will come to you at last
When all are one and one is all
To be a rock and not to roll
Oy
And she are climbing the stairway to the tower

There's a lady whose wheelchair glitters likes gold
And she's following a stairway to the tower
And when she gets there she knows if the doors are closed
She'll just have to pound them down

And she's climbing the stairway to the tower

[LadyHitchhiker]

Billion dollar breaker (I think Walter O'Dim will like this one)
Billion dollar breaker
Llamafox lady, smarter than a weasel
Dirty as an alley
Loves me while she breaks the tower
Billion dollar breaker
Little cardboard tiger, breaker, I adore you
Man or woman living couldn't love me like you, breaker
We go dancing nightly almost frantic
While the man in black rides by
If I'm too rough, tell me
Im so scared your pornbot head will pop off in my hands
I found you in the keystone
No body else could ever hold you
Any tighter, any tighter than me, baby
Billion dollar breaker
Reckless like a rambler, million dollar maybe
Foaming like a dog thats been infected by the rabies
We go dancing nighty in the attic
While the man in black rides by
If I'm too rough, tell me
I'm so scared your pornbot head will pop off in my hands
Million dollar breaker
Billion dollar breaker
Trillion dollar breaker
Zillion dollar breaker

[LadyHitchhiker]

To tune of The Hitchhiker by the Doors
Walked in and out of time and out of season
LadyHitchhiker
Stood by the side of the road
And leveled her thumb
In the calm calculus of reason
"Hi. How you doin'"
I just came back down today.
I was out in the desert writing awhile
"Riders of the storm"
Yeah. Stuck in the middle of it
"Riders of the storm"
Right...
"Into this world we're born"
Hey, listen, man, I really got a problem
"Into this world we're thrown"
When I was out on the desert, ya know
"Like my mom without a phone
Author without a loan"
I don't know how to finish
"Riders on the storm"
but, ah, I killed somebody
"There's a dark man on the road"
No...
"His brain is squirming, he's a toad"
It's no big deal, ya know
I don't think anybody will find out about it, but...
"take a long holiday"
just, ah...
"Let your kittens play"
this guy gave me a ride, and ah...
"If you give this man a ride"
started giving me a lot of trouble
"Sweet family will die"
and I just couldn't take it, ya know
"Killer on the road"
And I wasted him
Yeah

[LadyHitchhiker]

This is a parody of Get It On by T. Rex

Well you're dirty and stink
Man in black don't look back and I loathe you
You're dirty and stink, oh yeah
Well you're mean and you're weak
You've got the succubus getting upon you
You're dirty stink you want all worlds

Get a gun, sing a song, get it on
Get a gun, bang a song, get it on

Well you're gonna go far
You've got a black cape ain't wearing a halo
You're gonna go real far, oh yeah
Well you're untamed uncouth
That's the truth with your cloak full of secrets
You're dirty stink You want all worlds

Get it on, bang a gong, get it on
Get it on, bang a gong, get it on - oh

You're real mean you're wild
You've got the black in your heart and you're a meany
You like to throw away childs, oh yeah
Well you're gonna go far
You've got a black cap ain't wearing no halo
You're dirty stink you want all worlds

Get a gun, sing a song, get it on
Get a gun, sing a song, get it on - ooh

Well you're dirty and stink
Clad in black, don't look back and I loathe you
You're dirty and stink oh yeah
Well you dance when you walk
So let's dance, take a chance, combat me
You're dirty stink you want all worlds

Get a gun, sing a song, get it on
Get a gun, sing a song, get it on - ow
Get a gun, sing a song, get it on - ow - get it on - mh

Get a gun, sing a song, get it on
Get a gun, sing a song, get it on
Get a gun, sing a song, get it on
Get a gun, sing a song, get it on - a-a-a-a
Get a gun, bang a song, get it on - a-a-a-a
Take me, for a meanwhile I'm still drinking ....

[LadyHitchhiker]

DANCING QUEEN PARODY
You can dance, you can prance, having the time of your life
See that girl, watching the scene, she is the Crimson Queen

Friday night and the lights are low
All dressed up with no place to go
Where they open the right forums, find the right themes
You come in to look for a king
Anybody could be that guy
Night is young and the music’s high
With a bit of rock music, everything is fine
You’re in the mood for a dance
And when you get the chance...

You are the Crimson Queen, young and sweet, and very green
Crimson Queen, feel the beat from his tambourine
You can dance, you can prance, having the time of your life
See that girl, watch that scene, dig it the Crimson Queen
You’re a teaser, you turn ’em on
Leave them burning and then you’re gone
Looking out for another, anyone will do
You’re in the mood for a dance
And when you get the chance...

You are the Crimson Queen, young and sweet, and very green
Crimson Queen, feel the beat from his tambourine
You can dance, you can prance, having the time of your life
See that girl, watch that scene, dig it the Crimson Queen

[LadyHitchhiker]

WHAT THAT WOMAN BEEN DOING TO ME parody
I'm gonna take a Blaine train down at the station, Lord
I don't care where it goes
Gonna climb a tower, the highest tower, Lord
And gonna jump off, ainít nobody gonna know
Can't you see, oh, can't you see,
What that Roland, Lord
He been doin' to me
Can't you see, oh, can't you see
What that Roland, been doin' to me
I'm gonna find me a hole in the wall,
I'm gonna crawl inside and die
Cause LadyH, now a mean old woman, Lord
Never told me goodbye
Can't you see, oh, can't you see,
What that Roland he been doin' to me
Can't you see, oh, can't you see,
What that Roland, he been doin' to me
I'm gonna buy me a ticket as far as I can,
I ain't never comin' back
I'm gonna take me that south-bound,
All the way to Calla now,
Till the train it run out of track
Can't you see, oh, can't you see,
What that Roland, he been doin' to me
Can't you see, oh, can't you see,
What that Roland, what he been doin' to me

[LadyHitchhiker]

A parody of "With You" By Jessica Simpson

The real me is a Gilead boy
And I know my part
Wish I could save all worlds
Like I was Superboy
The real me used to laugh all night
Lying in the grass, just talking 'bout life
But lately I've been jaded
Life got so complicated

I start thinking about it
Almost forgot what it was like
To know how to feel alright

But with you
I can let my guard down
I can say anything crazy
I know you'll catch me right before I hit the ground
With nothing but a gun strapped on
I never felt so beautiful
Baby, as I do now
Now that I'm with you

With you
With you
With you
Now that I'm with you

You speak it's a riddle and a song
With you all the walls can be torn down
It's just our private joke
Just meant for us to know
I relate to you in high speech
Everybody else just fades away
Sometimes it's hard to breathe
Just knowing you found me

'Cause I start thinking about it
I almost forgot what it was like
To know when life feels right

'Cause with you
I can let my guard down
I can say anything crazy
I know you'll catch me right before I hit the ground
With nothing but a gun strapped on
I never felt so beautiful
Baby, as I do now
Now that I'm with you

With you
With you
With you

Come and take me
Love you, save me
Like nobody else
Now I can be myself with you

I can let my guard down
I can say anything crazy
I know you'll catch me right before I hit the ground
With nothing but a gun strapped on
I never felt so beautiful
Baby, as I do now
Now that I'm with you

I can let my hair down
I can say anything crazy
I know you'll catch me right before I hit the ground
With nothing but a gun strapped on
I never felt so beautiful
Baby, as I do now
Now that I'm with you

[LadyHitchhiker]

WHAT ABOUT LOVE PARODY
Ive been lonely
Ive been waiting for you
I've been mending and that's all I can do
The Los I'm sending
Ain't making it through to those parts
Youve been hiding, never letting you show
Always trying to keep your ka-tet in control
You're feeling down and you're well
On the way to the top
But there's something that you forgot

What about Los
Dont you want someone to care about you
What about Los
Dont let him slip away
What about Los
I only want to share him with you
You might need him someday

I can't tell you what you're feeling inside
I can't sell you what you dont want to buy
Something's missing and you got to
Look back on your life
You know something here just ain't right

What about Los
Dont you want someone to care about you
What about Los
Dont let him slip away
What about Los
I only want to share him with you
You might need him someday
What about Los
Dont you want someone to care about you
What about Los
Dont let him slip away
What about Los
I only want to share him with you
You might need him someday

[LadyHitchhiker]

I MISS MY FRIEND PARODY
I miss the look of justice in your eyes
The way your soft brown hair would fall
I miss the power of your words that made me love
But baby most of all

I miss Roland
The one my hopes and dreams rided with
The one I felt the safest with
The one who knew just what how to dance to make me laugh again
And let my heart back in
I miss Roland

I miss the colors that you brought into my life
Your rare sweet smile, those ice blue eyes
I miss your quiet voice in gentle times like now
Saying "We'll stand to fight"

I miss Roland
The one my hopes and dreams rided with
The one I felt the safest with
The one who knew just what how to dance to make me laugh again
And let my heart back in
I miss Roland

I miss your lies
I miss those nights
I even miss the silly fights
The waking up
The morning talks
And those full day walks

I miss Roland
The one my heart and soul confided in
The one I felt the safest with

[LadyHitchhiker]

BLOWER’S DAUGHTER PARODY
And so it is
Just like you said it would be
Life goes easy on me
Most of the time
And so it is
The shorter story
No love, no glory
No beam path in the sky

I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes...

And so it is
Just like you said it should be
We'll both forget the beams
Most of the time
And so it is
The colder water
The dentist's daughter
The father in denial

I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes...

Did I say that I loathe you?
Did I say that I want to
Leave my life behind?

I can't take my mind off of you
I can't take my mind off you
I can't take my mind off of you
I can't take my mind off you
I can't take my mind off you
I can't take my mind...
My mind...my mind...
'Til I find a quest that's new

[LadyHitchhiker]

The Doors: The Unknown Door/The Unknown Soldier

Search until your quest is over
And we're both a little older
Walk through the unknown door

1999 the news - Captain Trips is dead
Television not in his head
Unborn living, living, dead
Bullet strikes the low man's head

The search is over
walk through the unknown door
It's all over
walk through the unknown door

Tet
Tet
Tet oh ka-tet
Tet
Tet
Tet oh ka-tet
Tet
Tet
Tet oh ka-tet
Comp'nee
Halt
Preeee-zent!
Arms!

Make a grave for our dead soldiers
Grieve into your hollow shoulder
The dead soldiers

1999 the news - Captain Trips is dead
Television not in his head
Bullet strikes the low man's head

Quest is over
The quest is over
It's all over
The quest is over
Quest all over, Jakey
All over, Jakey
Oy, over, yeah
All over, Eddie
Oyyyyyy, hah-hah
Quests' over
Quest is over, Jakey
Oh, woa-yeah
Quest's over
Quests's over
Oyyyyyyyyyy

[LadyHitchhiker]

CARRY ON PARODY
When Rolad was a young boy,
Steven took him into the city
To see a marching band.
He said,
"Son when you grow up, will you be the saviour of the broken,
The beaten and the damned?"
He said
"Will you defeat them, your demons, and all the non believers, the plans that they have made?"
Because one day I''lll eave you,
A phantom to lead you in the desert,
To join the black parade."

When Roland was a young boy,
Steven took him into the city
To see a marching band.
He said,
"Son when you grow up, will you be the leader of the broken,
The beaten and the damned?"

Sometimes I get the feeling Susan's watching over me.
And other times I feel like I should go. Through it all, the rise and fall, the bodies in the streets.
When you're gone we want you all to know
We'll Carry on,
We'll Carry on
Though your dead and gone believe me
Your memory will carry on
Carry on
We'll carry on
And in my heart I cant contain it
The anthem wont explain it.

And we will send you reeling from decimated dreams
Your misery and hate will kill us all
So paint it black and take it back
Lets shout it loud and clear
Do you fight it to the end
We hear the call to
To carry on
We'll carry on
Though your dead and gone believe me
Your memory will carry on
We'll carry on
And though you're broken and defeated
You're weary widow marchers on

And on we carry through the tears
Ooh oh ohhhh
Disappointed faces filled with fear Ooh oh ohhhh
Take a look at me cause
I could not care at all
Do or die
You'll never make me
Cause the world, will never break my heart
You can try, you'll never take me
Want it all,
I'm gonna play this part
Wont explain or say i'm sorry
I'm not ashamed,
I'm gonna show my scar
You're the chair, for all the broken
Listen here, because it's only..
I'm just a man,
I'm not a hero
Just a boy, who's meant to sing this song
Just a man,
I'm not a hero
I -- don't -- care
Carry on
We'll carry on
Though your dead and gone believe me
Your memory will carry on
We'll carry on
And though you're broken and defeated
The weary widow marches on
We'll carry on
We'll carry on
We'll carry on
We'll carry
We'll carry on

[LadyHitchhiker]

YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL PARODY
My quest is brilliant.

My quest is brilliant.
My love is pure.
I am a gunslinger.
Of that I'm sure.
She smiled at me on the roadway.
She was with another man.
But I won't lose no sleep on that,
'Cause I've got a plan.

You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
I saw your face in a new kind of place,
And I don't know what to do,
'Cause I'll never stay with you.

Yeah, she caught my eye,
As we walked on by.
She could see from my face that I was,
Riding high,
And I don't think that I'll see her again,
But we shared a moment that will last till the end.

You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
I saw your face in a new kind of place,
And I don't know what to do,
'Cause I'll never be with you.

You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
There must be an angel with a smile on her face,
When she thought up that I should be with you.
But it's time to face the truth,
I will never stay with you.

[LadyHitchhiker]

Journey's End parody
original artist Clannad

Journey's End
Blue eyes are rolling
Visions in my mind
Of a strange voice calling
Journey's at an end, journey's at an end
Journey's at an end, journey's at an end

Hear my old heart sinking
Voices ringing clear
Farewell from my kindred
And friends I love so dear, and friends I love so dear
Journey's at an end, journey's at an end

Lost dreams are fading
I know of those I've failed
And with overwhelming deserts I know
To bring me back again, to bring me back again
Journey's at an end, journey's at an end

Long have I traveled
In storm, in the sun, in the rain
And it's Susannah singing
Journey's at an end, journey's at an end

Journey's at an end, journey's at an end
Journey's at an end, journey's at an end

[LadyHitchhiker]

TEACH YOUR CHILDREN WELL PARODY
You who are on the road
Must have a code that you can live by
And so become yourself
Because the past is just a good bye.

Teach your ka-tet well,
And Roland's hell did slowly go by,
And feed them on your dreams
The one they picked, the one you'll go by.

Don't you ever ask them why, if they told you, you would die,
So just look at them and sigh and know they love you.

And you, of tender years,
Can't know the fears that your elders grew by,
And so please help them with your youth,
They seek the tower before they can die.

Teach your ka-tet well,
Their own dear hell will slowly go by,
And feed them on your dreams
The one they picked, the one you'll know by.

Don't you ever ask them why, if they told you, they would die,
So just look at them and sigh and know they love you.

[LadyHitchhiker]

To tune of Uptown girl

Keystone world
Eddie's been living his uptight world
I bet he's never seen a badass guy
I bet his mama told you why

I'm gonna try to go to keystone world
She's been living in her white bread world
As long as anyone with hot blood can
And now shes wheeling for a downtown man
I'll be the man

And when she knows what
Place to go and what time
And when she wakes up
And makes up her mind

She'll see it's not rough
Just because
she's stuck in a keystone world
You know Ive seen her in her uptown world
Shes getting tired of her high class toys
And no billybumblers named Oy
Shes got a choice

Keystone world
You know I cant afford to buy any pearls
But maybe someday when my ship comes in
She'll understand what kind of guy I've been
And then I'll win

And when she's wheeling
Shes looking so fine
And when shes reeling
She'll say that she's mine

She'll see it's not rough
Just because
she's stuck in a keystone world
You know Ive seen her in her uptown world
As long as anyone with hot blood can
And now shes wheeling for a downtown man
I'll be the man

Keystone world
Shes in keystone world
You know I'm gonna go
to keystone world

My keystone world
Dont you know that's where my love
is in keystone world
My keystone world
Dont you know that's where my love
is in keystone world

[LadyHitchhiker]

She's alwasy a woman to me parody

She can kill with a smile, she can wound with her eyes
She can ruin your faith with her casual lies
And she only reveals what she wants you to see
She hides like a child, but she's always the tower to me

She can lead you to love, but you take that she'll leave you
She can ask for the truth, but she'll never believe
And she'll take what you but it can never be free
Yeah, She steals like a thief, but she's always the tower to me.

CHORUS
Ohhh... she can't take care of herself
She can break if she wants, she's in all places and times
Ohhh... and she never puts out
And she never gives in, she just changes her mind

And she'll promise you more than the garden of Eden
Then she'll carelessly cut you and laugh while you're bleeding
But she’ll bring out the best and the worst you can be
Blame it all on yourself 'cause she's always the tower to me.

CHORUS

She's frequently kind and she's unusually cruel
She can do as she pleases, she's nobody's fool
And she can't be convicted, she's earned her degree
And the most she will do is throw a lady of shadow at you,
But she's always the tower to me

[LadyHitchhiker]

Bob Dylan - Just Like A Woman PARODY

Nobody feels any pain
Tonight as I stand inside the rain
Ev'rybody knows
That Eddie's got new clothes
But lately I see his taunting and his jokes
Have fallen from his mouth curled
He takes just like a tower, yes he does
He makes love and thinks of the tower, yes he does
And he aches to be at the tower
But he breaks just like a little girl.

Crimsong King, I'll see you at the end
Yes, I believe I'll go see him again
Nobody has to guess
That Eddie can't be blessed
Till he finally sees that he's like all the rest
With his fog, his devil grass, his mouth curled
He takes just like a tower, yes he does
He makes love and thinks of the tower, yes he does
And he aches to be at the tower
But he breaks just like a little girl.

It was at the beach I saw him first
And I was dying there of thirst
So I came in here
And your long-time curse hurts
But what's worse
Is this pain in here
I can't stay in here
Ain't it clear that.

I just can't fit
Yes, I believe it's time for our quest
When we meet again
Introduced as friends
Please don't let on that you knew me when
I was hungry chasing after the tower
Ah he fakes just like a tower, yes he does
He makes love and thinks of the tower, yes he does
And he aches to be at the tower
But he breaks just like a little girl.

[LadyHitchhiker]

Parody of Benny and the Jets

Hey kids, we'll make it together
The world's moved on or something
Thats been known to change the weather
Well kill the fatted calf tonight
So stick around
Youre gonna hear electric music
Solid walls of sound

Say, Jakey and Eddie, have you seen them yet
But theyre so spaced out, Roland and the ka-tet
Oh but they're weird and they're wonderful
Oh Roland he's really mean
The really bad man, the old white daddy
Also known as Gabby
Roland and the ka-tet
Hey kids, don't remain faithless
Maybe theyre blinded
But Roland seems almost ageless
We shall survive, let us take ourselves along
Where we fight the lowmen out in the streets
To find whos right and whos wrong

[LadyHitchhiker]

Nameless mounted baby, a police force gone berserk
White and black, that's their color scheme
Get the man, in the end

And I'll fight (repeat four more times)
Oh yeah my honey knows that I'll fight
Yeah I'll fight (repeat four more times)
Oh yeah my baby knows that I'll fight
C'mon Oy to me

Yeah I might owe ya baby
I'll cross the frontier at ten
Got a whip in my hand baby
Lose a girl or a bumbler at tower's end

And I'll fight (repeat four more times)
Oh yeah my honey knows that I'll fight
Yeah I'll fight (repeat four more times)
Oh yeah my baby knows that I'll fight

Leave behind the nameless pony, dogsled across ice
Make a quest for freedom baby don't skate on world's end ice
It's too thick to be sliced by the light
Of long and red polar nights

And I'll fight (repeat four more times)
Oh yeah my honey knows that I'll fight
Yeah I'll fight (repeat four more times)
Oh yeah my baby knows that I'll fight

[LadyHitchhiker]

PARODY OF YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL
Sylvia Pittson you are beautiful

Walks in Tull
Makes me feel small
I said hey Sylvia you are beautiful
Listen to Jesus please
You got me on my knees
Screaming, Sylvia you are beautiful

You take your skinny girl
I feel like I'm gonna die
Coz a real woman needs a (real man has why)
You take your girl and multiply about four
Now a whole lot of woman needs a whole lot more

(Chorus)
Get yourself to the butterfly lounge
Find yourself a big lady
Big boy come on around
And there be gonna do baby
No need to fantasize
While she's singing the lord's praises
Put your gun in her hole
Make sure no one's around
Curves in the right places

Sylvia you are beautiful (x4)

Walks in Tull
Makes me feel small
I said hey Sylvia you are beautiful
Listen to Jesus please
You got me on my knees
Screaming, Sylvia you are beautiful

You take your girl and multiply about four
Now a whole lot of woman needs a whole lot more

(Repeat chorus)

Sylvia you are beautiful (x4)

(Repeat chorus)

Sylvia you are beautiful (x4)

(Repeat chorus)

[LadyHitchhiker]

Look what you've done parody of Jet

Take my name off the door
If it just won't sing for you
'Cause all that's left has gone away
And there's nothing left for you to prove

Oh, look what you've done
You've made a corpse of everyone
Oh well, it seems likes such fun
Until you lose what you had won

Give me back my point of view
'Cause I just can't think for you
I can hardly hear you say
What should I do, well you choose

Take my name off the door
If it just won't sing for you
Oh it looks like such fun
until you lose before you've won

Oh, look what you've done
You've made a corpse of everyone
A corpse of everyone
A corpse of everyone

Take my name off the door
If it just won't sing for you
'Cause all you've loved have gone away
And there's nothing there for you to prove

Oh, look what you've done
You've made a fool of everyone
Oh well, it seems likes such fun
Until you lose what you had won

Oh, look what you've done
You've made a corpse of everyone
A corpse of everyone
A corpse of everyone

[LadyHitchhiker]

GUITAR GONNA KILL YER MAMA PARODY

You know, your mama and your daddy
Saying I'm no good to you
They call me dirty from Gilead
You know, your mama and your daddy
Saying I'm no good to you
They call me dirty from Gilead
Till I don't know what to do
I get so tired of sneakin' around
Just to get to you little girl
I crawled past the corral and
Your mama jumped on my back, screamin'
"There are other worlds"
I can't take it
My gun it wants to kill your mama
My gun it wants to kill your mama
My gun it wants to burn your dad
I get real mean when it makes me mad

Later I tried to call you
Your mama told me you weren't there
She told me don't bother to call again
Unless I left the quest and care
I get so tired of sneakin' around
Just to get to you little girl
I crawled past the corral and
Your mama jumped on my back screamin'
"There are other worlds!"

Later I tried to come to you
Your mama told me you weren't there
She told me don't bother to come again
Unless I left the quest and care
I get so tired of sneakin' around
Just to get to my little girl
I crawled past the corral and
Your mama jumped out, screamin'
"There are other worlds!"
My gun it wants to kill your mama
My gun it wants to kill your mama
My gun it wants to burn your dad
I get real mean when it makes me mad

[LadyHitchhiker]

MY LUMPS PARODY
[Eddie]
Whatcha gonna do with all that junk
All that junk inside your trunk
[Susannah]
I'ma get get get get you drunk
Get you drunk shoot off my gun
My gun my gun my gun my gun my gun
My gun my gun my gun my lovely little guns
Check it out
I drive these brothers crazy
I do it on the daily
They treat me pretty fairly
they push in my chairy
I'm soon to be a mama
Chasing off the llamas
Carin' they be sharin'
All their bullets got me flying high
Whether I ain't askin
They say they love mah ass in
My black harness
True decision
I say no
But they keep givin
So I keep on wheelin
And no I aint deelin
We can keep on datin',
Now keep on demonstratin'
My love my love my love my love
You love my little guns
My gun my gun my gun
My guns they got you..
[Eddie]
Shes got me shooting.. Ohhh
[Susannah]
Shooting all you bullets for me..And spending time on me..
[Eddie]
Shes got me shooting.. Ohhh
[Susannah]
Shooting all your bullet for me..
f-for me for me...
[Eddie]
Whatcha gonna do with all that junk
All that junk inside that trunk..
[Susannah]
I'ma get get get get you drunk
Get you drunk shoot off my gun
[Eddie]
Whatcha gonna do with all that ass
All that ass inside that seat
[Susannah]
I'ma make make make make you scream
Make you scream make you scream
Cause of my gun my gun my gun my gun
My gun my gun my gun my lovely little guns
Check it out
[Eddie]
I met a girl down at the Keystone
She said hey hey hey ya lets go
I can be ya baby, you could be my honey
Let's spend time not money
And mix your milk with my cocoa puff
Milky milky cocoa
Mix your milk with my cocoa puff
Milky milky
Riiiiide...
[Susannah]
They say I'm really sexy
The boys they wanna sex me
They always standin next to me
Always dancin next to me
Tryna shoot my gun gun
Lookin at my gun gun
You can look but you can't touch it
If you touch it
I'ma start some drama
You don't want no drama
No no drama no no no no drama
So don't
Pull on my hand boy
You ain't my man boy
I'm just tryna dance boy
And shoot my gun
My gun My gun My gun My gun My gun My gun
My gun My gun My gun My gun my lovely little guns
My lovely little guns my lovely little guns
strapped In the back and in the front
My loving got you..
[Eddie]
Shes got me shooting.. Ohh..
[Susannah]
Shooting all your bullets for me..and spending time on me..
[Eddie]
Shes got me shooting.. Ohh..
[Susannah]
Shooting all your bullets for me..uh for me for me..
[Eddie]
Whatcha gonna do with all that junk
All that junk inside that trunk
[Susannah]
I'ma get get get get you drunk
Get you love drunk off my hump
[Eddie]
Whatcha gonna do with all that ass
All that ass inside your seat
[Susannah]
I'ma make make make make you scream
Make you scream make you scream
[Eddie]
Whatcha gonna do with all that junk
All that junk inside that trunk
[Susannah]
I'ma get get get get you drunk
Get you drunk shoot off this gun
[Eddie]
Whatcha gonna do with all those plates
All those plates inside that shirt
[Susannah]
I'ma make make make make you work
Make you work work make you work
[Eddie]
Shes got me shooting..
[Susannah]
Ohh..Shooting all your bullets for me..and spending time on me..
[Eddie]
Shes got me shooting ..
[Susannah]
Ohh..Shooting all your bullets for me..uh on me on me.
[Eddie]
So real x17

[LadyHitchhiker]

Feel Good Inc parody by the Gorillaz
NYC's breakin' down on a camel's back
The beams are gonna break and we don't know when,
So all ya feel the streets it's appealing to see
You won't get forgotten cause the world's gonna freak

You got a new horizon it's Epheremeral style
In a melancholy town where we never smile
And all I wanna hear is the message beep
My dreams I miss cause I don't get sleep no

Roland Roland for the land
Ka-tet standing hand in hand
Take it all it on your stride
It is STICKING, falling down
Love forever love is free
Turn forever you and me
Roland Roland for the land
Everybody In?

I'm crippled but I'm a wildcat
You can lick my ass crack
Babies, point me on the track
I'm the chocolate attack
Shoot I'm steppin' IN THE HEART OF THIS HERE
Care-bear BUMPING IN THE HEART OF THIS HERE
Watch me as I'm migrating hahahaha...
Gonna ghost town
This Motown
It's Calla, you in the place,
Going to bite the dust
Can't fight with us
We're Ka-tet, you kill the inc.
So don't stop get it, get it
Until your Cheddar hit it
watch the way I migrating ha ha

Roland Roland for the land
Ka-tet standing hand in hand
Take it all it on your stride
It is STICKING, falling down
Love forever love is free
Turn forever you and me
Roland Roland for the land
Everybody In?

Dont STOP, git it git it
we are your captains
hold it steady,
watch me migrating,
hahahahahaha.
Dont STOP, git it git it
we are your captains
hold it
steady,
watch the way we migrating
HAHAHAHAHA

[LadyHitchhiker]

Randall Flagg's Love Song... to tune of POSSUM KINGDOM

Make up your mind
Decide to walk with me
Around Allworld tonight
Around Allworld tonight
By my side
By my side
I'm not gonna lie
I'll not be a gentleman
Behind the barn then
I'll show you my dark secret

I'm not gonna lie
I want you for mine
My blushing bride
My lover, be the mother, yeah...
Don't be afraid
I didn't mean to scare you
So help me, Jesus

I can promise you
You'll stay as beautiful
With white hair
And soft skin...forever
Forever

Make up your mind
Make up your mind
And I'll promise you
I will treat you well
My sweet angel
So help me, Jesus

(hey, hey, hey)

Give your soul to me
Give your soul to me
Do you wanna be
My angel?
So help me!

Be my angel

Be my angel

Do you wanna die?

I promise you
I will treat you well
My sweet angel
So help me, Jesus

Maejis

Maejis

Maejis...

[LadyHitchhiker]

I STARTED A JOKE PARODY
I started a quest, which started the whole world smiling,
But I didnt see that the joke was on me, oh no.

I started to cry, which started the whole world laughing,
Oh, if Id only seen that the joke was on me.

I looked at the skies, finding the beams with both my eyes,
And I fell out of bed, hurting my head from things that I'd said.

Til I finally died, which started the whole world living,
Oh, if Id only seen that the joke was on me.

I looked at the skies, finding the beams with both my eyes,
And I fell into this world, hurting my head from losing my girl.

til I finally died, which started the whole world living,
Oh, if Id only seen that the joke was one me.

[LadyHitchhiker]

GOODBYE MY LOVER PARODY
Did I disappoint you or let you down?
Should I be feeling guilty, let guardians frown?
'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,
Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.
So I set out on my eternal fight,
Took your souls out into the night.
It may be over but it won't stop there,
I am here for you if you'd only care
You touched my heart you touched my soul.
You changed my life; followed my goals.
And love is blind and that I knew when,
My heart was blinded by you.
I've shot from the hip, held your hand
Shared your dreams and shared your head
I know you well, I feel your hell.
I've been addicted to you.

Goodbye my ka-tet.
Goodbye my friends.
You have been the ones.
You have been the ones for me.

I am a dreamer but when I wake,
You can't break my dream - it's my spirit you take.
And as you move on, remember me,
Remember us and all we used to be
I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile.
I've watched you sleeping for a while.
I'd be the father of your child.
I'd spend a lifetime with you.
I know your fears and you know mine.
We've had our doubts but now we're fine,
And I love you, I swear that's true.
But I must live without you.

Goodbye my ka-tet.
Goodbye my friends.
You have been the ones.
You have been the ones for me.

And I still hold your hands in mine.
In mine when I'm asleep.
And I will bear my soul in time,
When I'm kneeling at your feet.
Goodbye my ka-tet.
Goodbye my friends.
You have been the ones.
You have been the ones for me.
I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.
I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.

[LadyHitchhiker]

AEROPLANE OVER THE SEA PARODY
What a beautiful girl
I have found in these worlds
That is circling all round the suns
What a beautiful dream
That could flash by on wheels
In a blink of an eye and be gone from me
Soft and sweet
Let me tie her up and keep her here with me

And one day we will die
And our ashes will fly from the keystone New York you see
But for now we are young
Let us lay in the sun
And count every beautiful thing we can see
Love to be
In the arms of all I'm keeping here with me

Susannah's ghost all around
Hear her voice as it's rolling and ringing through me
Soft and sweet
How the notes all bend in the clearing with the trees

Now how I remember you
How I would push my body through
the door to make your body move
That made your voice so smooth and sweet
And now we keep where we don't know
All secrets sleep in winter clothes
With one you loved so long ago
Now he's forgotten his father's name

What a beautiful girl
I have found in these worlds
That is circling all round the sun
And when we meet at the tower
I'll be laughing for hours
I'll be laughing with everyone I see
Can't believe how strange it is to be anything at all

[LadyHitchhiker]

DOESN’T REMIND ME OF ANYTHING PARODY
I walk the beam's path till my ka-tets lost
Cause it doesn't remind me of anything
Visit graveyards for my worn out hoss
Cause it doesn't remind me of anything
I like studying faces in battles I've fought
Cause it doesn't remind me of anything
I like going fowards with my talking dog
Cause it doesn't remind me of anything

[Chorus]
The things that I've loved the things that I've lost
The boy I held sacred that I dropped
I won't lie no more you can bet
I don't want to learn what I'll love and forget

I like Eddie's jokes and riddle talk
Cause it doesn't remind me of anything
I like tavern music, Susannah's drawl
Cause it doesn't remind me of anything
I like heading to the clearing in the sun
Cause it doesn't remind me of anything
I ilke loading my guns and speaking in tongues
Cause it doesn't remind me of anything

[Chorus]
The things that I've loved the things that I've lost
The boy I held sacred that I dropped
I won't lie no more you can bet
I don't want to lose what I need

Lose me forget me
I love the way we were
Slow and smoothly
Like never before
Calm and brooding
I won't stir up the past
So descretely
I won't look back

[Chorus]
The things that I've loved the things that I've lost
The things I've held sacred at all cost
I won't lie no more you can bet
I don't want to leave what I'll need

I like losing my voice and breaking more hearts
Cause it doesn't remind me of anything
I like fighting in the sand what's mine is yours
If it doesn't remind me of anything

[LadyHitchhiker]

(Wild World Parody)
Now that I've lost everything to you
You say you wanna go through a door that's new
And it's breakin' my heart you're leavin'
Roland, I'm grievin'
But if you wanna leave, take good care
I hope you have a lot of nice things to wear
But then a lot of nice things turn bad out there

[Chorus:]
Oh, Roland, Roland, it's a wild world
It's hard to get by just upon a smile
Oh, Roland, Roland, it's a wild world
I'll always remember you like a dad, boy

You know I've seen a lot of what the tower can do
And it's breakin' my heart in two
Because I never wanna see you a sad boy
Don't be a bad boy
But if you wanna leave, take good care
I hope you make a lot of nice friends out there
But just remember there's a lot of bad and beware

[Chorus]

Roland, I love you
But if you wanna leave, take good care
I hope you make a lot of nice friends out there
But just remember there's a lot of bad and beware

[LadyHitchhiker]

To tune of sexyback

I'm bringin' Eddie back
Those lobstrosities won't know how to act
I see you've got a weapon behind your back
So come through the door and help pick up the slack

[Bridge]
Dirty Dude
You see these shackles, don't have to be so rude
Don't have to give me none of that attitude
It's just that when I'm messed up I talk real lewd
(take it to the chorus)

[Chorus]
Come here boy, go head be gone with it
Come on back, go head be gone with it
Jakey, bring Oy to me
Lemme see what you're working with
Gun at your hips
Make me smile
Go 'head child and get your holster on

I'm bringin' Eddie back
Them ganster fuckers don't know how to act
Ed let me make up for all the things you lack
Because I'm burning up I got to have astin fast

(Take it to the bridge)

Dirty Babe
You see these shackles baby I'm your slave
I'll let you whip me if I misbehave
It's just that no one makes me feel this way

(take it to the chorus)

Dirty Dude
You see these shackles, don't have to be so rude
Don't have to give me none of that attitude
It's just that when I'm messed up I talk real lewd
(take it to the chorus)

Come here boy, go head be gone with it
Come on back, go head be gone with it
Jakey, bring Oy to me
Lemme see what you're working with
Gun at your hips
Make me smile
Go 'head child and get your holster on

I'm bringin' Eddie back
Those lobstrosities won't know how to act
I see you've got a weapon behind your back
So come through the door and help pick up the slack

[LadyHitchhiker]

GIMME A LITTLE RESPECT PARODY
I try to discover
A little something to make my quest sweeter
Oh baby refrain from tearing me apart
I'm lost without you
I'll be forever blue
That you gimme no reason
You know you the work is already so hard

That you gimme no
That you gimme no
That you gimme no
That you gimme no

Tower, I hear you calling
Oh baby please give a little respect to me

And if I should falter
Would you open you arms out to me
We can go to the tower
And live at peace with our hearts
I'm so lost without you
I'll be forever blue
What religion or reason
Could drive a man to forsake his tower

Don't you tell me no
Don't you tell me no
Don't you tell me no
Don't you tell me no

Tower, I hear you calling
Oh baby please give a little respect to me

I'm so lost without you
I'll be forever blue
That you gimme no reason
You know I already work so hard

That you gimme no
That you gimme no
That you gimme no
That you gimme no

Tower, I hear you calling
Oh baby please give a little respect to me

Soul, I hear you calling
Oh baby please give a little respect to me

[LadyHitchhiker]

Parody of The World Is Not Enough

I know how to hurt
I know how to kill
I know what to torture
And what to reveal
I know when to talk
And I know when to push
No one ever died from wanting too much

Chorus:
This world is not enough
But it is such a perfect place to start, my love
And if you're strong enough
Together we find other worlds than these, my love

People like us
Learn how to survive
There's no point in living
If you can't ever fight
We know who we'll miss
And we know when to kill
If I can't have it all
Then nobody will

Chorus

I...I feel sick
I...I feel aware
I...I feel ready
And ka-tet prepare

Chorus

This world is not enough
This world is not enough

[LadyHitchhiker]

Denis Leary’s ASSHOLE parody...
Folks, Id like to sing a song about the Ka-tet's Dream
About me, about you
About the way our Ka-tet hearts beat way down in the bottom of our chests
About that special feeling we get in the cockles of our hearts
Maybe below the cockles,
Maybe in the sub cockle area,
Maybe in the liver, maybe in the kidneys,
Maybe even in the colon, we dont know

I'm just a regular Joe, with a regular job
I'm your average white, wild western knob
I like pistols and riddles and stories about war
I got an average castle, with some nice wenches and whores
My wife and my job, my mistress at the bar
My feet on my table, and a bad weedy cigar

But sometimes that just aint enough to keep a man like me interested
(oh no, no way, uh uh)
No I gotta go out on a quest at someone else's expense
(woah yeah, yeah yeah, yeah yeah yeah)
I riddle really slow in the ultra fast lane
While the train that I'm riding is going insane

I'm an asshole (he's an asshole,what an asshole)
I'm an asshole (he's an asshole, such an asshole)

I rescue kids then I let them drop to their death
I kidnap a guy who'd much rather be doing meth
I'm an asshole (he's an asshole,what an asshole)
I'm an asshole (he's the worlds biggest asshole)

Sometimes I travel through unhandicapped spaces
While handicapped people make handicapped faces

I'm an asshole (he's an asshole,what an asshole)
I'm an asshole (he's a real fucking asshole)

Maybe I shouldnt be singing this song
Ranting and raving and carrying on
Maybe theyre right when they tell me Im wrong...
Nah

You know what Im gonna do
I'm gonna get myself a 1967 Cadillac Eldorado convertible
Hot pink, with whale skin hubcaps
And all leather cow interior
And big brown baby seal eyes for head lights (yeah)
And I’m gonna drive in that baby at 115 miles per hour
Gettin' 1 mile per gallon,
Sucking down filet o fish sandwiches from McDonalds
In the old fashioned non-biodegradable styrofoam containers
And when Im done sucking down those tooterfish sandwiches
I'm gonna wipe my mouth with the underwear of Randall Flagg
And then Im gonna toss the styrofoam containers right out the side
And there aint a goddamn thing anybody can do about it
You know why, because weve got the gawd bombs, thats why
2 words, nuclear fucking weapons, OK?
Russia, Germany, Romania, they can have all the democracy they want
They can have a big democracy cakewalk
Right through the middle of Tiananmen Square
and it wont make a lick of difference
Because weve got the bombs, OK?
John Wayne's not dead, hes frozen, and as soon as we find a cure for cancer
Were gonna thaw out the duke and hes gonna be pretty pissed off
You know why,
Have you ever taken a cold shower, well multiply that by 15 million times
Thats how pissed off the dukes gonna be!
I'm gonna get the Duke, and Cuthbert, and Alain,
and Steve Martin, and Sam Peckinpah, and a case of whiskey,
and drive down to Gilead and say.....

(Hey! You know, you really are an asshole!)
Why don't you just shut up and sing the song, pal?
Im an asshole (hes an asshole.what an asshole)
Im an asshole (hes the worlds biggest asshole)

A-S-S-H-O-L-E
Everybody
A-S-S-H-O-L-E

I'm an asshole and I'm proud of it

[LadyHitchhiker]

To tune of any other world by Mika

In any other world
You could make a difference
But instead let myself fall
Into broken remnants

Smile like you mean it
And let yourself let go

'Cause it's all in the hands of bitter, bitter old Gan
Say goodbye to the world you thought you lived in
Take a bow, walk out west on a lonely lonely quest
Say goodbye to the world you thought you lived in
To the world you thought you lived in

I tried to walk alone
But lonely is so lonely, alone
So human as I am
I had to look over other fences

So I smiled and tried to mean it
And then tried to let go

'Cause it's all in the hands of bitter, bitter old Gan
Say goodbye to the world you thought you lived in
Take a bow, walk out west on a lonely lonely quest
Say goodbye to the world you thought you lived in
To the world you thought you lived in

'Cause it's all in the hands of a bitter, bitter old Gan
Say goodbye to the world you thought you lived in
Take a bow, play the part of a lonely lonely heart
Say goodbye to the world you thought you lived in
To the world you thought you lived in

Say goodbye to the world you thought you lived in [x2]
Say goodbye

In any other world
You could make a difference

[Spoken]
"I never ever, I remember my story.
My face is no sad, but inside, I am dead."

[CyberGhostface]

Here's a song dedicated to the misunderstood Mordred Deschain who just wanted to be loved...

*ahem*

Spider-Shit, Spider-Shit,
Prince Mordred is throwing a fit
Spins a web, any size,
Wants to curl up and die.
Look Out!
Here comes the Spider-Shit.

Is he sick?
Listen bud,
He's squirting out chocolate mud.
He can't swing from a thread
Ro' shot him in the head.
Hey, there
There goes the Spider-Shit.

Don't let him give you a kiss.
More bitter than Simon Cowell
(King killed off Walter for this?)
He struggles to empty his bowels.

Spider-Shit, Spider-Shit
Mordred just took a spider-shit
Proper diets
He's ignored
In Hell, there's no reward.

His asshole can't open any wider
Whenever there's an emo spider
You'll find the Spider-Shit.

[Wuducynn]

:lol: Good parody Cyber! Well done.

[CyberGhostface]

Thanks. :)

[jayson]

Hilarious CyberGhostFace! One day when I have the time I want to try to write and illustrate a pseudo-children's book about Mordred entitled "Mordred Has Two Daddy's"

[Storyslinger]

Awesome Cyber

[LadyHitchhiker]

Yay!!!!! More!!!!

[LadyHitchhiker]

(I especially like ones about Mordred... I agree. He was very misunderstood.)

[LadyHitchhiker]

BRAND NEW PARODY THAT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH TOWER... just came up with it in the shower in Georgia. A good shower is inspirational.. almost a religious experience after having cold water showers for over a year.... (when time permits I will bring a lot of my oldie non-tower parodies in here for those who are interested)

Doncha

Oh, baby dolls

I know you like me (I know you like me)
I know you do (I know you do)
Thats why whenever I come around she pukes all over you
And I know you want it (I know you want it)
It's easy to see (it's easy to see)
And you try not to mind
when she stands sideways
she disapears just like 2-d

[Chorus]
Dont cha wish your girlfriend was fat like me
Dont cha wish your girlfriend would eat like me
Dont cha, dont cha , baby
Dont cha wish your girlfriend ate it raw like me
Dont cha wish your girlfriend had buns like me
Dont cha, dont cha

Eat banana peelings (eat banana peelings )
Make you a scone (make you a scone)
But if this ain't love
It just aint enough to leave a hungry home
Let's keep it friendly (let's keep it friendly)
I know she's lighter than air (lighter than air)
See, I dont care
But I know my food she won't want to share

[Chorus]
Dont cha wish your girlfriend was fat like me
Dont cha wish your girlfriend would eat like me
Dont cha, dont cha , baby
Dont cha wish your girlfriend ate it raw like me
Dont cha wish your girlfriend had buns like me
Dont cha, dont cha

I know food's on your mind
I know we'll have a good time
I'm your friend
I'm fun
And I'm fine
I aint lying
Look at me, you aint blind [2x]

See, I know she loves you (I know she loves you)
I understand (I understand)
I'd probably be just as crazy about you
If you ate from my oven
Maybe at lunchtime (maybe next lunchtime)
Possibly (possibly)
Until then, Oh friend your secret is safe with me

[Chorus]
Dont cha wish your girlfriend was fat like me
Dont cha wish your girlfriend could eat like me
Dont cha, dont cha
Dont cha wish your girlfriend ate it all like me
Dont cha wish your girlfriend wouldn't throw up, like me
Dont cha, dont cha



**this was to make fun of all the celebrities who are deliberately starving themselves to death for no reason. I would love to do a music video that would incorporate normal looking people, and maybe larger looking people dancing around and then stick figures would represent the girlfriend.. :D

[LadyHitchhiker]

A song I wrote about dad parodizing a song by Cat Stevens

I go with the nicest ones to shop at the Econo store
M&ms, Orville Redenbacher and I know just what they're all for
I've organized my busy life in a way I've never done before
Even visit my grandkids now

but I've got no time for silly chitter chatter
I'm on my way
cuz while my blood's still warm and my mind hasn't shattered
I'm hoping to stay
because I've got a thing about seeing my children grow old

I just can't wait to walk with mom and you
watching star trek, with the kids in the tv room
I'll see my feet upon that street if it's the last thing that I do
even sweep the roads to be there

but I've got no time for silly chitter chatter
I'm on my way
cuz while my blood's still warm and my mind hasn't shattered
I'm hoping to stay
because I've got a thing about seeing my children grow old

I'll see my feet upon that street if its the last thing that i do
Even sweep the roads to be there

but I've got no time for silly chitter chatter
I'm on my way
cuz while my blood's still warm and my mind hasn't shattered
I'm hoping to stay
because I've got a thing about seeing my children grow old

[LadyHitchhiker]

*lol at self* I just realized I had two of these threads going on, so if anyone has the time, could you merge this thread with Poetry, Parodies, Songs, etc.,.? It would be greatly appreciated... Thankye big big.. and I will continue to as time permits add many more parodies...

[LadyHitchhiker]

Sooner Or Later
( The Grass Roots )

Sooner or later, Los, is gonna get ya
Sooner or later, tet, you've got to give in
Sooner or later, Los is gonna let ya
Sooner or later, Los is gonna win

Its just a matter of time
Before you lose all your minds
To give to Los what you've been hiding
Its just a question of when
I've told you time and again
I'll get to Los what you've been denying

Sooner or later, Los, is gonna get ya
Sooner or later, tet, you've got to give in
Sooner or later, Los is gonna let ya
Sooner or later, Los is gonna win

You say you'll never be mine
But darling, there'll come a time
I'll taste all that love that you've been hiding
Its just a question of time
Before you make up your mind
And give all that love you've been denying

You've been looking for Los
In all the wrong places
You've been looking for Los
All the wrong faces
Gotta get ya girl
Life's an illusion
Gonna save your heart
From all this confusion

Sooner or later, Los, is gonna get ya
Sooner or later, tet, you've got to give in
Sooner or later, Los is gonna let ya
Sooner or later, Los is gonna win
Los is gonna win

Its just a matter of time
Before you lose all your minds
To give to Los what you've been hiding
Its just a question of when
I've told you time and again
I'll get to Los what you've been denying

Sooner or later, Los, is gonna get ya
Sooner or later, tet, you've got to give in
Sooner or later, Los is gonna let ya
Sooner or later, Los is gonna win

[jayson]

ok, i can admit i love the song you based that one on Lady Hitchhiker. I like your version as well! very funny

[LadyHitchhiker]

(Pretty choppy maybe work on it more later)
Found discord together
The initials R and -F
It's who I am, it's what I do
And I was gonna lay it down for you
I try to focus my attention
But I feel so A-D-D
I need some help, some inspiration
(But it's not coming easily)
Whoah oh...

Trying to find the magic
(Door)
Trying to write a classic
(Or six more)
Don't you know, don't you know, don't you know?
(Whoah)
Waste-bin full of paper
Clever rhymes , I will see you later

These worlds are my own
Me and mine go
I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you
There's no other way
To better say
I love you, I love you...

Read some King, Koontz, and Keats
Recited it over Zz tops' beat
I'm having trouble finding what I need
With dead poets, and gan's drum machines
you know I had some junkies booked
But I couldn't find my perfect nook
Now you've gone and raised the bar right up
Nothing I write is ever good enough

These worlds are my own
Me and mine go
I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you
There's no other way
To better say
I love you, I love you...

These wolrds are my own
Me and mine go
I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you
There's no other way
To better say
I love you, I love you...

I'm getting off my stage
The curtains pull away
No magic door to hide behind
The naked boy exposed
Whoah.. oh.. oh.. oh.. whoah.. oh.. oh..

Trying to find the magic
(Door)
Trying to write a classic
(Or six more)
Don't you know, don't you know, don't you know?
(Whoah)
Waste-bin full of paper
Clever rhymes , I will see you later

These words are my own
From my heart flow
(Don't you know)
I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you
There's no other way
To better say
I love you I love you

These worlds are my own
Me and mine go
I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you
There's no other way
To better say
I love you, I love you...

These worlds are my own
Me and mine go
I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you
There's no other way
To better say
I love you, I love you...
I can't find a better way

And that's all I got to say
I love you, is that okay...?

[LadyHitchhiker]

ok, i can admit i love the song you based that one on Lady Hitchhiker. I like your version as well! very funny

Yaaaaaaaaay! :huglove: Good mind!

[LadyHitchhiker]

(shakira's endless story parody -- not necessarily dark tower related)

In a thong
I write down what people think is odd
Don't get me wrong cause
I think you're a gift from God
But you own the place
Where all my thoughts go hiding
Somewhere you hide my clothes
Later I'll find them

Underneath Your Clothes
There's a naked body
There's the man I chose
He's my territory
And all the things I deserve
For being such a good girl honey

Because of you
I'd found many new ways to lie
Because of you
I'm running out of reasons to cry
When the friends are gone
When the party's over
We will still belong to each other

Underneath Your Clothes
There's a naked body
There's the man I chose
He's my territory
And all the things I deserve
For being such a good girl honey

I love you more than I ever did plan it
Movin' talkin' walkin' breathing
You know I'm nude
Oh baby it's so funny
You almost don't believe it
As every voice is hanging from the silence
I'm nude hanging from the ceiling
Like a lady tired of her manners
I'm tied up to this feeling

Underneath Your Clothes
There's a naked body
There's the man I chose
For when I'm horny
And all the things I deserve
For being such a good girl honey

[LadyHitchhiker]

(Weird Al's the Night Santa Went Crazy parody)

Down in o' keystone in the city full of noise
were the Gilead girls and the Gilead boys
When the bitch busted in, nearly scared 'em half to death
Had a rifle in her hands and cheap whiskey on her breath
From her fro to her wheels she was covered with ammo
Like a big black drunk disabled negro Rambo
And she smiled as she said with a twinkle in her eye,
"Merry Christmas to all - now you're all gonna die!"

The night S'zannah went crazy
The night Detta went insane
Realized she'd been gettin' a raw deal
Something finally must have snapped in her brain

Well, keystone is gone now, she decided to bomb it
Everywhere you'll find pieces of new yorker vomit
And she tied up her helpers and she held the kids hostage
And she ground up poor Mordred into spider sausage
She got Father Callahan with an old German Luger
And she slashed up Randall just like Freddy Krueger
And she picked up a flamethrower and she barbequed Crimson
And she took a big bite and said, "The king tastes like chicken!"

The night S'zanna went crazy
The night Mrs. Dean went just nuts
Now you can't hardly walk through a magic door now
Without steppin' in someone's guts

There's the National Guard and the F.B.I.
There's a van from the Eyewitness News
And helicopters circlin' 'round in the sky
And the bullets are flyin', the body count's risin'
And everyone's dyin' to know, Susannah, why?
Well well well well well well
You used to be such a funny gal

Yes, Virginia, now Susannah's doin' time
In a federal prison for her infamous crime
Hey, little friend, now don't you cry no more tears
She'll be out with good behavior in 700 more years
But now Roland's in therapy and Oy he's still nervous
And Jake's got a job now working for the postal service
And they say Eddie Dean, he's on the phone every night
With his lawyer negotiating the movie rights

They're talkin' bout - the night S'zanna went crazy
The night Susannah Dean flipped
Broke her back for a tower and looky
Sounds to me like she was tired of gettin' gypped

Wo, the night S'zanna went crazy
The night Mz Dean went insane
Realized she's gettin' a raw deal
Something finally must have snapped in her brain
Wo, something finally must have snapped in her brain
Tell ya, something finally must have snapped... in her brain

[LadyHitchhiker]

TINA TURNER LYRICS

"What's Love Got To Do With It"

You must understand
That man dressed in red
Makes my pulse react
And it's only the thrill
of magic coming from him
Opposites attract

It's physical
Only magical
You must try to ignore
That it means more than that

[Chorus]
Oh whats Los got to do, got to do with it
What's Los but the second man in motion
What's Los got to do, got to do with it
Who needs a heart
When a heart can be broken

It may seem to you
That I'm acting confused
When you're close to me
If I stand here amazed
I've read it someplace
I've got cause to be

There's a name for it
There's a place you fit
But whatever the reason
You do it for me

[Chorus]

I've been thinking of a new direction
But I have to say
I've been carrying my own protection
It scares me to feel this way

Whats Los got to do, got to do with it
What's Los but the second man in motion
What's Los got to do, got to do with it
Who needs a heart
When a heart can be broken

[LadyHitchhiker]

Okay here was a stupidly easy one to do with not a lot of imagination but it was so hysterical I had to put it in here:

What Is Love Lyrics


What is Los
Oh baby, don't hurt me
Don't hurt me no more
Oh, baby don't hurt me
Don't hurt me no more

What is Los
Yeah

Oh, I feel you when you're not there
I give you my love, but and hope you care
So what is red and what is white
Gimme a sign

What is Los
Oh baby, don't hurt me
Don't hurt me no more
What is Los
Oh baby, don't hurt me
Don't hurt me no more

Whoa whoa whoa, oooh oooh
Whoa whoa whoa, oooh oooh

Oh, I don't know, what can I do
What else can I say, it's up to you
I know we're one, just me and you
I can't go on

What is Los
Oh baby, don't hurt me
Don't hurt me no more
What is Los
Oh baby, don't hurt me
Don't hurt me no more

Whoa whoa whoa, oooh oooh
Whoa whoa whoa, oooh oooh

What is Los, oooh, oooh, oooh
What is Los, oooh, oooh, oooh

What is Los
Oh baby, don't hurt me
Don't hurt me no more

Don't hurt me
Don't hurt me

I want no other, no other lover
This is all lifes,all time
When we are together, I need you forever
Is it Los

What is Los
Oh baby, don't hurt me
Don't hurt me no more
What is Los
Oh baby, don't hurt me
Don't hurt me no more (oooh, oooh)

What is Los
Oh baby, don't hurt me
Don't hurt me no more
What is Los
Oh baby, don't hurt me
Don't hurt me no more (oooh, oooh)

What is Los?

[LadyHitchhiker]

ODE TO FRUNOBULAX IN KEY OF JUDE BY BEATLES (because I miss you... one of my best freends in all worlds)
Hey, Frune, don't feel so bad
You take my sad songs and make them better
Remember to let me into your heart
Then you can start to feel some better

Hey, Frune, don't be afraid
You were made to go out and record
The minute you sing from what's within
Then you begin to make it better.

And any time you feel the pain, hey, Frune, refrain
Don't carry the worlds upon your shoulders
Well don't you know that its a fool who plays it cool
By making his world a little colder

Hey, Frune! Don't you get down
You will find her and you will get her
Remember, to let her into your heart
Then you can start to make it better.

So let it out and let it in, hey, Frune, begin
You're waiting for someone to perform with
And don't you know that it's just you, hey, Jude,
You'll do, your backup is right beside your shoulder

Hey, Frune, don't feel so bad
You take my sad songs and make them better
Remember to let me into your heart
Then you can start to feel some better

[B Rag]

Like a big black drunk disabled negro Rambo

Hahahaha, I love that line! And it's good to see you made this thread here - unfortunately, I don't have access to any of the ones I posted on .net, but I'll make sure to come up with something.

[LadyHitchhiker]

Absolutely! You better! I requested that the parodies be kept on tdt.net but who knows if our Blaine Train will come back to life or not :(

[B Rag]

Here you go!
A parody of "Take Your Mama Out" by the Scissor Sisters. :P

When you grow up
Livin' like a cowboy oughta
And your papa
Gives his gun to the best one
Something different
All the folks, they seem to fear you
Cause you're hands quick,
pretty tall, and your holding two guns.

But now your girl's been a murdered
And that witch has gotten in your head.
The folks'll ask about your mother
but they won't believe a word you said

[Chorus]
Really took your mama out that night
Yeah, you showed her not to sneak around.
You got her shot up and inflicted pain
and let her corpse fall on the ground.
And if the mirror's to blame, well that's just too bad
You're gonna feel guilt no matter what
Because your triggers don't mind what your pointing at
If you pull'em and they make a shot

Shot it
Took your mama out that night
'Cause you had no doubt
That Reah was standing right behind.
So you shot it
Took your mama out that night
Now you stay up late
'cause baby it still haunts your mind.

It's a struggle
Livin' like a hero oughta
As a killer
Watchin' all your best friends die
If your mama
Saw the way that you now slaughter
I gotta tell you
That all she'd wanna do is cry

Now you end up leavin' your shattered home
Lookin' terrifying, probably always gonna be alone.
It's so hard to love people anymore these days
When the glass ruined your mind
And you blew your friends away.

Really took your mama out that night
Yeah, you showed her not to sneak around.
You got her shot up and inflicted pain
and let her corpse fall on the ground.
And if the mirror's to blame, well that's just too bad
You're gonna feel guilt no matter what
Because your triggers don't mind what your pointing at
If you pull'em and they make a shot
Really took your mama out that night
Yeah, you showed her not to sneak around.
You got her shot up and inflicted pain
and let her corpse fall on the ground.
And if the mirror's to blame, well that's just too bad
You're gonna feel guilt no matter what
Because your triggers don't mind what your pointing at
If you pull'em and they make a shot

[LadyHitchhiker]

Weird Al Yankovic - Virus Alert Parody

Hey, everyone, listen up, your attention if you please
We wanna give you a warning
'Cause I found out this morning
About a dangerous, insidious computer virus
If you should get it, an email with the subject, '8 19'
Better off protecting your chances
Under no circumstances, should you open it
Or else it will

Translate Stephen King into Swahili
Transform all his stories into "Gigli"
Wreck your head, Tell you about the crimson king
Look out!
It's gonna make your computer screen freeze
Look out!
Ruin the ending to all King's movies
Look out!
Mess up your hard drive and your backups too
And the hard drive of anyone related to you

Spoiler alert!
Delete immediately before someone gets hurt!
Forward this message on to everybody

Soon, very soon, it will make doors to new worlds open in your walls
It'll make spiders seem icky
Give your poodle a hickey
And invest your cash in stock in hot pink leggings
Then, it will tie up your phone, making prank long-distance calls
It'll set your clocks back an hour and start clogging the shower
So just trash it now, or else it will

Decide to give you a permanent wedgie,
Get rid of all of your food except for veggies
Even mess up the pH balance in your poo

Look out!
You'll learn about O'dim's face melted into a skull
Look out!
And leak out spoilers about the town named Tull
Look out!
And tell you knock-knock jokes while you're trying to sleep
Look out!
And make Jon physically attracted to sheep
Look out!
Make you refer to all men as pards
Look out!
Infect your world with mutie cards
Look out!
Then cause major rifts in all time and space
And leave a bunch of Mars Bars wrappers all over the place
That's right it's a

Spoiler alert!
Delete immediately before someone gets hurt!
Forward this message on to everybody

Spoiler alert!
Delete immediately before someone gets hurt!
Forward this message on to everybody
Warn all your friends, send this to everybody
Tell everyone you know, tell everybody now

If you get infected, you'll wish you had never been born
So before it emails your grandmother all Allhail's porn
Turn off your computer and make sure it powers down
Drop it in a forty-three-foot hole in the ground
Bury it completely; in Boulder Colorado should be fine
Then burn all the clothes you may have worn any time you were online!

Spoiler alert!
Delete immediately before someone gets hurt!
Forward this message on to everybody

Spoiler alert!
Delete immediately before someone gets hurt!
Forward this message on to everybody

Spoiler alert!
Delete immediately before someone gets hurt!
Forward this message on to everybody
Warn all your friends, send this to everybody
Tell everyone you know, tell everybody now
What are you waiting for?
Just hurry up and forward this to every single person that you know!
Hit send right now!

[LadyHitchhiker]

(about tdt.net and tdt.com)

There are times when a woman has to say what's on her mind
Even though she knows how much it's gonna hurt
Before I post another word let me tell you, I love you
Let me hold you close and say these words as gently as I can

There's been another site that I've needed and I've loved
But that doesn't mean I love you less
And he knows he can't possess me and he knows he never will
There's just this empty place inside of me that only he can fill

[Chorus:]
Torn between two towers, feelin' like a fool
Lovin' both of you is breakin' all the rules
Torn between two websites, feelin' like a fool
Lovin' you both is breakin' all the rules

You mustn't think you've failed me
Just because there's someone else
You were the first real love I ever had
And all the things I ever said
I swear they still are true
For no one else can have the posts from me I gave to you

[Chorus]

I couldn't really blame you if you turned and walked away
But with everything I feel inside, I'm asking you to stay

[Chorus]

Torn between two websites

[Fade]

Feelin' like a fool
Lovin' both of you is breakin' all the rules

[LadyHitchhiker]

Too late to apologize parody


I'm holding on your rope,
You're hanging hundreds feet from the ground
I'm hearin what you say but I just can't make a sound
You tell me that you need me
Then I go and cut you down, but wait
I tell you that I'm sorry
Didn't think I'd turn around, and say...

It's too late to apologize, it's too late
I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late

I'd take another chance, let you fall
Take a shot for you
And I need you like a heart needs a beat
But it's nothin new - yeah yeah
I loved you through the pow'r ' red-
Now it's turning blue, and you say...
"Sorry" like the blue heaven let me think was you
But I'm afraid...

It's too late to apologize, it's too late
I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late

It's too late to apologize, it's too late
I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late
It's too late to apologize, yeah
I said it's too late to apologize, yeah-
I'm holding on your rope,
You're hanging hundreds feet from the ground

[LadyHitchhiker]

PLAIN WHITE T'S LYRICS

"Hey There Susannah"

Hey there Susannah
What's it like in New York City?
I'm a thousand worlds away
But girl, tonight you look so pretty
Yes you do
Keystone can't shine as bright as you
I swear it's true

Hey there Susannah
Don't you worry about the distance
I'm right there if you get lonely
Walk through the door give a listen
Close your eyes
Listen to my voice, it's my disguise
I'm by your side

Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
What you do to me

Hey there Susannah
I know times are getting hard
But just believe me, girl
Someday we'll find a place where things won't be so hard
We'll have it good
We'll have the life we knew we would
My word is good

Hey there Susannah
I've got so much left to say
If every simple song I wrote to you
Would take your breath away
I'd write it all
Even more in love with me you'd fall
We'd have it all

Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me

A thousand miles seems pretty far
But they've got doors and chairs and cars
I'd walk to you if I had no other way
Our friends would all make fun of us
and we'll just laugh along because we know
That none of them have felt this way
Susannah I can promise you
That by the time we get through
The worlds will never ever be the same
And you're to blame

Hey there Susannah
You be good and don't you miss me
Few more years and you'll have all the tools
And we'll ll be making history like I do
You'll know it's all because of you
We can do whatever we want to
Hey there Susannah here's to you
This one's for you

Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
What you do to me.

[LadyHitchhiker]

Get the pizza going
Surfing the web's my highway
choose your own adventure
or the person below you game
Yeah Darlin' gonna make it happen
Take all worlds in a love embrace
Gunslingers fire your guns at once
And explode into space

I cower during lightning
Typos are my blunder
Racin' with Storyslinger
And the feelin' that I'm under
Yeah Darlin' gonna make it happen
Take all worlds in a love embrace
Gunslingers fire your guns at once
And explode into space

Like a true nature's child
We were born, born to be mild
We can climb so high
I never wanna die

Born to be mild
Born to be mild

[B Rag]

Whooo, I like that one just because it mentions the Person Below You Game! But those are all good.

[LadyHitchhiker]

I Fought The Law (and the Law Won)
by Bobby Fuller, 1965

I lost my fingers in the hot sun

I fought the Ka and the Ka won

I fought the Ka and the Ka won

I needed money and Eddie had some

I fought the Ka and the Ka won

I fought the ka and the Ka won

I miss her wheelchair and I feel so bad I guess my race is run

Well she's the best girl that I ever had

I fought the ka and the ka won

I fought the ka and the ka won

Robbing people with a six gun

I fought the Ka and the Ka won

I fought the Ka and the Ka won

I miss my baby and I miss fun

I fought the Ka and the Ka won

I fought the Ka and the Ka won

I miss her wheelchair and I feel so bad I guess my race is run

Well she's the best girl that I ever had

I fought the Ka and the Ka won

I fought the Ka and the Ka won

[LadyHitchhiker]

Can You Find Some Gloves Tonight? (written when I was in 6th grade during the whole OJ fiasco because I was sick of hearing about him in the news.. It's to the tune of Can you find some love tonight... I did promise some of my old stuff eventually...)

I can see what's happening?
What?
Kato sees it too.
Who?
They'll buy some gloves and cross the borderline.
They'll buy some socks too.
These gloves just don't fit right
and I have none to wear
and with OJ Simpson here
you know disaster's in the air.
Will you buy some gloves tonight?
See all the media your bronco brings.
The world for once, is following;
the news keeps interrupting things.
So many things to cover
But how to get USA to see
the truth about last night? - Impossible!
The jury'd turn from me.
He's withholding info and in hiding
but as we decide
he just doesn't want to be the criminal we know he is -
the murderer we see outside.
And will you find some gloves tonight?
See all the media your bronco brings.
The world, for once, is following;
the news keeps interrupting things
and can you find the gloves tonight?
You needn't go too far.
The cops are filled with inadequacies
as they follow in their cars.
And if he buys some gloves tonight
Society will presume
his carefree days will come in history
and then our pal is doomed.

[LadyHitchhiker]

Whooo, I like that one just because it mentions the Person Below You Game! But those are all good.

You'rea prince among men!

[B Rag]

Thanks! I'm not sure exactly what that means, but it sounds good! And I'll be sure to come up with something for this thread this weekend.

[B Rag]

Parody of Teenagers by My Chemical Romance.

He's gonna clean out your town
With an ammunition ronud
To make sure you get out of his way

Because he always has guns
You're always dead when he's done
And he will catch everything that you do

Because your tricks never work
He's gonna blow off your smirk
Cause he's got senses that are way too keen
It's like they ripped out his soul -
One aspiration, one goal
The tower's turned him into a machine

I say that
Gunslinger scares the living shit outta me
He could care less, if you're in his way you bleed.
You'll darken your shorts
When you see eyes of that sort.
Maybe you'll go harrass him, but not me

The boys and girls of the Red
The aweful terror they led
He's never gonna forgive them, kid.
'Cause he is one troubled man,
and what is in his left hand
Will make them pay for the things that they did

They'll say that
Gunslinger scares the living shit outta me
He could care less, if you're in his way you bleed.
You'll darken your shorts
When you see eyes of that sort.
Maybe you'll go harrass him, but not me

They said that
Gunslinger scares the living shit outta me
He could care less, if you're in his way you bleed.
You'll darken your shorts
When you see eyes of that sort.
Maybe you'll go harrass him, but not me

All together now!

That Gunslinger scares the living shit outta me
He could care less, if you're in his way you bleed.
You'll darken your shorts
When you see eyes of that sort.
Maybe you'll go harrass him, but not me

That Gunslinger scares the living shit outta me
He could care less, if you're in his way you bleed.
You'll darken your shorts
When you see eyes of that sort.
Maybe you'll go harrass him, but not me

[LadyHitchhiker]

Yay! More B_RAG!!!


There comes a time
When we heed a certain call
When all worlds must come together as one
There are muties dying
And it's time to lend a hand to life
The greatest gift of all

We can't go on
Pretending day by day
That someone, somewhere will soon make a change
We are all a part of
Gan's great big family
And the truth, you know the beam is all we need

[Chorus]
We are all worlds
We are Gan's children
We are the ones who save the beams today
So let's start giving
There's a choice we're making
We're risking our own lives
It's true we'll make a better day
Just you and me

Break the hearts
Of those we know who care
But their lives will be stronger and free
As Jeebus showed us by turning stone to bread
So we all must lend a helping hand

[Chorus]
We are all worlds
We are Gan's children
We are the ones who save the beams today
So let's start giving
There's a choice we're making
We're risking our own lives
It's true we'll make a better day
Just you and me

When you're down and out
There seems no hope at all
But if you just believe
There's no way Jake can fall
Well, well, well, well, let us realize
That a change will only come
When Susannah and Mia become one

[Chorus]
We are all worlds
We are Gan's children
We are the ones who save the beams today
So let's start giving
There's a choice we're making
We're risking our own lives
It's true we'll make a better day
Just you and me

[LadyHitchhiker]

Not So Happy Ending parody of Happy Ending by Avril Lavigne (2-19-05)
Let's forget each other
now that she's dead
It was something I did
It was something you said
Hopes were so high
now they're all dead
she was everything everything that I wanted
we were meant to be supposed to be but she's lost now
all the memories I hold so tightly so they don't fade away
all this time I was pretending
that I could have a happy ending.
You lie to your dumb friends
I know what you say
tell them I'm insignificant
well maybe it's they
cause they don't know me;
do they really know you?
After all the time you took from me
all the bullshit you put us through
she was all the things I loved and knew
and I wish I could be
she was everything everything that I wanted
we were meant to be supposed to be but she's lost now
all the memories I hold so tightly so they don't fade away
all this time I was pretending
that I could have a happy ending.
It's nice to know that you were there
but why'd you even act like you care
about Wally and I as if we were someone
we could've had it all
but you'd rather watch us fall
after all this is through
she was everything everything that I wanted
we were meant to be supposed to be but she's lost now
all the memories I hold so tightly so they don't fade away
all this time I was pretending
that I could have a happy ending.

[LadyHitchhiker]

The Alcohol Song (10-10-02)
Hey! Don't close the bottle yet
it's only in your head
you feel laughed at
or looked down on
just drink your best
drink every drink you can
and don't worry about the hangover
it'll be okay
It just takes sometime,
little bit of energy
and alcohol
everything everything will be just fine
everything everything will be alright alright
Hey! You know you're all the same
you're better drinking all alone
but don't buy it
drink right now
every drink on the shelf
doesn't matter if it's good enough
for someone else
It just takes sometime,
little bit of energy
and alcohol
everything everything will be just fine
everything everything will be alright alright
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Hey! Don't close the bottle yet
It's only in your head
you feel laughed at
or looked down on
just drink your best
drink every drink you can
and don't you worry what your parents
are gonna say
It just takes sometime,
little bit of energy
and alcohol
everything everything will be just fine
everything everything will be alright alright
It just takes sometime,
little bit of energy
and alcohol
everything everything will be just fine
everything everything will be alright alright

[LadyHitchhiker]

Fast Food Queen (to tune of Dancing Queen by Abba) (11/21/00) Written for and with some help from my ex-manager Boydybeth, the true Fast Food Queen

You can dance
you can prance
making burgers all your life
ooh see that boy
the limp-wristed fiend
He is a fast food queen
Friday night and the business's slow
we're all dressed up with no place to go
get a few more orders
put down some reg meat
they come to look for a queen
anybody could see that guy
night is young and the mood is high
get a few more orders
everything's fine
we're in the mood for a dance
and when you get the chance
see the flaming queen
polite and sweet
of the limp-wristed scene
flaming queen
feel the heat
from his grilling machine
oh yeah
You can dance
you can prance
dropping fries down all your life
ooh see that boy
make him green
he is a fast food queen
see the grills and turn them on
get the meat cooking and then you're gone
looking for a customer
anyone will do
we're in the mood for a dance
and when we get the chance
we'll watch the flaming queen
of the limp-wristed scene
he is a fast food quen
fast food quen
feel the heat from his grilling machine
oh yeah
you can dance and you can prance
making fajitas all of your life
ooh see that boy
cook that meat
he is a fast food queen
he is a fast food queen

[LadyHitchhiker]

Jackie Chan Saves Me (to tune of Take a Chance on Me by Abba) (11/21/03)
When I'm standing in line
and they kick my behind
honey I'm still free
Jackie Chan saves me
if they hit me with stones
and I scream real loud
if I have no place to go
and they knock me out
When I'm alone
with a pretty purse
honey I'm still free
Jackie Chan Saves Me
Gonna do his very best
and it aint' no lie
he'll put his foot in their chest
and his fist in their eye
Jackie Chan saves me
but I still think that he's funny
Jackie Chan saves me
We can go dancing
we can go walking
we'll be together forever
listen to background music
if it gets more intense
you'll know the bad guys are coming
you know there's so much I'd like to do
to prove my loyalty to you
you're magic!
you could never just leave me there
you just fly through the air
and I think you know
that I love you so
When I'm standing in line
and they kick my behind
honey I'm still free
Jackie Chan saves me
if they hit me with stones
and I scream real loud
if I have no place to go
and they knock me out
When I'm alone
with a pretty purse
honey I'm still free
Jackie Chan Saves Me
Gonna do his very best
just wait and see
he'll put his foot in their chest
and he'll save me
Jackie Chan saves me
Even if I'm in the lake honey
Oh he might take his time baby
he ain't in no hurry
he knows they ain't gonna get me
even if they really want to hurt me
I never have to worry
he'll never let them
Baby! Tell me now!
I know you're really tough
when things are really rough
and tragic
you never waste any time
and I can't get you off my mind
and I can't let go
cuz I love you so
When I'm standing in line
and they kick my behind
honey I'm still free
Jackie Chan saves me
if they hit me with stones
and I scream real loud
if I have no place to go
and they knock me out
When I'm alone
with a pretty purse
honey I'm still free
Jackie Chan Saves Me
Gonna do his very best
and it aint' no lie
he'll put his foot in their chest
and his fist in their eye
When I'm alone
with a pretty purse
honey I'm still free
Jackie Chan Saves Me
Gonna do his very best
just wait and see
he'll put his foot in their chest
and he'll save me

[LadyHitchhiker]

Finally Lost It to tune of a Matchbox 20 song I can't remember the title of... 3-10-04
I think I've finally lost it
My mind's finally gone
I feel I've lost my empire
i should feel relaxed
and self-assured
I feel my mind's leaving
the hinges squeak; it's out the door.
I feel I'm running on empty
there's something I lack
of that much I'm sure
and I think it's all me
as I sit here and sigh
I think it's all me
I've lost my mind
I think I'm just scared
Do I talk too much?
I know there's a problem
we're not dealing with
but baby if it's gone
maybe it needs to come home
there's a little less of something in me
and everything in you
if it's gone
baby it needs to come home
there's a little less of something in me
and everything in you
in you

[LadyHitchhiker]

Addicted to Doug (4-30-04 to tune of Addicted to Love)
The lights are on
but he's not home
he's at work
at Econo
you've got hot sweats
you've got the shakes
need a kiss before you quake
you can't sleep
or watch tv
there's no doubt you're in deep
your chest is tight
you can't breathe
another kiss is all you need
oh you like to think
you could get immune to this stuff
oh yeah
closer to the truth is saying
is you'll never get enough of this
you're gonna have to face it
you're addicted to Doug
the same signs
that you won't read
you're running at a deadly speed
your heart beats
double time
another kiss
and you'll be mine
a one track mind
you can't be saved
a little Doug is all you need
you lock out the cats
they feel abused
oh you like to think
you could get immune to this stuff
oh yeah
closer to the truth is saying
is you'll never get enough of this
you're gonna have to face it
you're addicted to Doug
the lights are on
but no one's home
your mind is not your own
your body sweats
your teeth grind
another kiss
and you'll be mine!
oh you like to think
you could get immune to this stuff
oh yeah
closer to the truth is saying
is you'll never get enough of this
you're gonna have to face it
you're addicted to Doug

[LadyHitchhiker]

Don't Want Your Plaque (parody of Don't Want You Back by the Backstreet Boys) (12/26/99)
Don't-don't want your plaque...
I brush you but you come back
I grab another toothbrush from the rack
and you did more than wreck my pretty face
you made me get my dinner all over the place
I should have known this very day
I'd be another victim of your tooth decay
But now I floss my gums and rinse
Moan...
Don't-don't want your plaque
Don't want your plauqe
cause you're no good for my teeth I know
I hate tooth decay
Don't want your plauqe
Forgive my cleanliness
but you gotta go
I-I don't want your plaque.
I look up and my jaw goes tense
this doesn't make a single lick of sense
now I've got a stupid overbite (overbite)
from those hundred no thousand fries
Don't-don't want your plaque
Don't want your plauqe
cause you're no good for my teeth I know
I hate tooth decay
Don't want your plauqe
Forgive my cleanliness
but you gotta go
I-I don't want your plaque.
You blow
I-I don't want you plaque
My overbite.
Don't mind eating a few fries
but let's end this silly busines about an overbite
don't want you plauqe
too much tooth decay blows
you really gotta go away
don't want you plauqe
Don't-don't want your plaque
Don't want your plauqe
cause you're no good for my teeth I know
I hate tooth decay
Don't want your plauqe
Forgive my cleanliness
but you gotta go
I-I don't want your plaque.
you know you gotta go
Don't-don't want your plaque
Don't want your plauqe
cause you're no good for my teeth I know
I hate tooth decay
Don't want your plauqe
Forgive my cleanliness
but you gotta go
I-I don't want your plaque.
Don't-don't want your plaque
Don't want your plauqe
cause you're no good for my teeth I know
I hate tooth decay
Don't want your plauqe
Forgive my cleanliness
but you gotta go
I-I don't want your plaque.

[LadyHitchhiker]

This is a song that was made to make fun of the overly germophobic people who wanted to ostricize people with blood and immune disorders in the 90s and to shut down the blood banks. It's to the tune of a Backstreet Boy song...

Danger to My Life
I may run and hide when you're carrying knives
but let me tell you now I'm on your side tonight
all of us madmen
with shiny pocket knives
all you people you can bleed
you can bleed
and your blood can give us AIDS or HIV
and that makes you a danger to my life
oh yikes
You gave too much blood and I see your body sway
wishing someone would just come and take you away
cause all of your blood sent
keeps people alive
all you people you can bleed
you can bleed
and your blood can give us AIDS or HIV
and that makes you a danger to my life
All of your blood sent
keeps people alive
all you people you can bleed
you can bleed
and your blood can give us AIDS or HIV
and that makes you a danger to my life
everytime you f**k
everytime you touch
you could give or take another life!
all you people you can bleed
you can bleed
and your blood can give us AIDS or HIV
and that makes you a danger to my life

[B Rag]

Hey-hey-hey! So this one didn't turn out as well as I hoped, but here it is anyway! A parody of Low, by Flo Rida and T-Pain.

[D-Schain]
Shot at them apple red eyes (eyes)
Beard with the hair (with the hairr)
And the whole tower right behind there
They went right through (they went right through)
Next thing I knew
Had to kill Los, Los, Los, Los, Los, Los, Los, Los, Los.
That baggy red cloak
And the insane looking face (Looking face)
He turned around and threw a handful of grenades (heeey)
They started to blow (they started to blow)
Next thing I know
Had to kill Los, Los, Los, Los, Los, Los, Los, Los, Los.

[Los Redda]
I aint never seen somene thatll make me scream
This crazy guy all the time followin' the beam
Had the million dolla aim always ready to go
Them revolvers always end the show
So serious
He was furious, mysterious
Puttin' fear in us
Hold up did he just grab a rose
Give it to that kid who's drawin' Los
Now the picture looks really close
Giving me pain, I'm startin' to go
Throwin' the sneetches, they gotta bang bro.
I'd say that I'd prefer their brains blown
Im in to that i love when people explode
He shot it and I threw him two mo'
Shots ain't a problem don't care where they go

[D-Schain]
Shot at them apple red eyes (eyes)
Beard with the hair (with the hairr)
And the whole tower right behind there
They went right through (they went right through)
Next thing I knew
Had to kill Los, Los, Los, Los, Los, Los, Los, Los, Los.
That baggy red cloak
And the insane looking face (Looking face)
He turned around and threw a handful of grenades (heeey)
They started to blow (they started to blow)
Next thing I know
Had to kill Los, Los, Los, Los, Los, Los, Los, Los, Los.

[Los Redda]
Hey shooter what I gotta do to get you down?
My men're filled with lead and they're on the ground
Minions blown back by a fiery round
Killer on the loose till the Tower's found
1 death (come on) 2 deaths (come on) 3 deaths (come on)
That's the ka-tet
What you think I'm done, I'm the King of the Red
I invented pain and dread.
Thats why I threw my bombs that would blow fast
I thought he could not last
Was ready to send him straight into Todash
He was ready to mow ass, but couldn't shoot Los, yeah
Unlucky for me he had a plan for that Rose, yeah
Burnin' hot from my head to my toes, yeah.
Erased from existance so fast
Like a secret note passed
I'm gone, at last

[D-Schain]
Shot at them apple red eyes (eyes)
Beard with the hair (with the hairr)
And the whole tower right behind there
They went right through (they went right through)
Next thing I knew
Had to kill Los, Los, Los, Los, Los, Los, Los, Los, Los.
That baggy red cloak
And the insane looking face (Looking face)
He turned around and threw a handful of grenades (heeey)
They started to blow (they started to blow)
Next thing I know
Had to kill Los, Los, Los, Los, Los, Los, Los, Los, Los.

[Flo-Rida]
Eeeeeeee Roland, he did a lot of killin'
Gunslinger killed my power
And he went in the tower
He saved it and the flower
Did it all with a cold glower
My body's been devoured
Been a pair of eyes for hours
Now it's ended, beams are mended
Tower defended, I can't bend it
Quite defenseless I been rendered
Now the Door is gonna send him
Back quite a while
Many miles
Back to leaving bodies in piles
To give him one more try
Gunfire's still his style

[D-Schain]
Shot at them apple red eyes (eyes)
Beard with the hair (with the hairr)
And the whole tower right behind there
They went right through (they went right through)
Next thing I knew
Had to kill Los, Los, Los, Los, Los, Los, Los, Los, Los.
That baggy red cloak
And the insane looking face (Looking face)
He turned around and threw a handful of grenades (heeey)
They started to blow (they started to blow)
Next thing I know
Had to kill Los, Los, Los, Los, Los, Los, Los, Los, Los.

[Jon]

My first time in this thread!

I'll look around and see if I can participate sometime.

[LadyHitchhiker]

I hope you will!

And now for a brand spanking new one:

LADYHITCHHIKER
In sleep
he came to me,
in dreams
he sang . . .
that voice
which calls to me
screeches
my name . . .
And do
I dream again?
For now
I find
the Mordred of the Opera
is there -
inside my mind . . .
MORDRED
Sing once
again with me
this strange
duet . . .
My power
over you
grows stronger
yet . . .
And though
you turn from me,
to save
your mind,
the Mordred of the Opera
is there -
inside your mind . . .
LADYHITCHHIKER
Those who
have seen your face
draw back
in fear . . .
I am
the mask you wear . . .
PHANTOM
It's me
they hear . . .
BOTH
The red and white is there
in one
combined:
the Mordred of the Opera
is there
inside your/my mind . . .
OFFSTAGE VOICES
He's there,
the Mordred of the Opera . . .
Beware
the Mordred of the Opera . . .
PHANTOM
In all
your fantasies,
you always
knew
you yearnd for mystery
LADYHITCHHIKER
. . they're both
in you . . .
BOTH
And in
this other world,
where night
is blind,
the Mordred of the Opera
is there/here
inside your/my mind . . .
Sing, my Angel of Music!
LADYHITCHHIKER
He's there,
the Mordred of the Opera . . .

[LadyHitchhiker]

(made with lots of fun today at work)

And for God's sake, each breath you take and you save
And soon both of us learned to thrust
Not run away, it was time to lift weights
We build it up and build it up and build it up

And now it’s solid
My butt's
Solid as a rock
That’s what my but is
That’s what I've got, oh, mmm…

Solid (Oh)
Solid as a rock
And nothing’ll chang it (Ooh)
My butt is still hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot

Oh…oh…oh…ah…

You didn’t turn away
When I felt real lame
Somehow we managed
We had to work together (Ooh…ooh…ooh…ooh…)

You didn’t bat an eye
You didn't even cry
We walked down the line
We knew we'd make it better (Ooh…ooh…ooh…ooh…)

And for God's sake, each breath you take and you save
And soon both of us learned to thrust
Not run away, it was time to lift weights
We build it up and build it up and build it up

Now it’s solid
Solid as a rock [Ooh]
That’s what my butt is (Oh…oh…)
That’s what I've got [Oh…oh…] (Yes, it is)

Solid
Solid as a rock
And nothing'll change it [Oh…]
Oh yeah it's hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot

Oh…oh…oh…ah…

Gone with the wind
Another friend
Got in between
Tried to unmotivate it (Ooh…ooh…ooh…ooh…)

Oh, knock-knock on wood
You understood
This was so new
We did what we had to (Ooh…ooh…ooh…ooh…)

And with that feeling we were willing to take a chance
So against all odds, we made a start
We got serious (Ooh), this wouldn’t turn to dust
We build it up and build it up and build it up

And now it’s solid (Ooh)
Solid as a rock
That’s what my butt is (Oh)
That’s what I've got, oh (Oh, oh)

[LadyHitchhiker]

I had a song but now I have lost it... I really should add more to here...

And I miss B_Rag... where the hell are you at????

[LadyHitchhiker]

(My Linus song, I think an original tune)

I love you Linus and you love me
I have known you from the start
Linus, I can't help you abducted my heart
and no matter where I roam
you're beside me I knooooooooow
I love you Linus and you love me
(you love me)
You knock over the christmas tree
do tricks for treats
and you wake me up at 3am
to chew on my feet
but no matter where I roam,
you're beside me I knoooooow
I love you, Linus and you love me....

[LadyHitchhiker]

Arthur Dent's song, I can't wait to go home again
(to the tune of I can't wait to see you again)
I got my sights set on you and I'm ready to blame
My ship's the heart of gold; that is it's name
I knew you were something special
When you spoke my name
Now I can't wait to go home again

I've got a way of knowing when something's not right
I feel like I must have known you in another life
Cause I felt this deep depression when you looked in my eyes
Now I can't wait to go home again

[Chorus:]
vogons came; I freaked out
I just kept looking down
I st-st-stuttered when you asked me what I'm thinking about
Felt like I couldn't breathe
You asked what's wrong with me
My best friend Ford said "Oh he never liked the Thursdays"
The next time we hang out
I will retain myself
My heart can't rest till then
Woh woh I
I can't wait to go home again

I got this crazy feeling, deep inside
When you came and asked to get some drinks now right
I'm not a mind reader but I'm reading the signs
That you can't wait to see me again

[Chorus]

I got my sights set on you and I'm ready to blame

[Chorus]

Woh woh I
I can't wait to go home again

[LadyHitchhiker]

double post voodoo

[B Rag]

I've been meaning to add something here... can't think of anything, though!

[LadyHitchhiker]

Trash Can Man's I Believe I can Fry, written by LadyHitchhiker and Raron
I used to think that I could not go on
And life was nothing but this dreadful song
But now I know the meaning of true love
I'm leaning towards everlasting harm
If I can burn it, then I can do it
If I just believe it, there's nothing to it

[1]
I believe I can fry
I believe I can torch the sky
light it up in every way
strike a match to light the way
I believe I can scorch
I see me running through that burning door
I believe I can fry
I believe I can fry
I believe I can fry

See I was on the way to Cibola
Sometimes the voices seem so loud
There are nukes in this world I must retrieve
But first the fire starts inside of me, oh

If I can burn it, then I can do it
If I just believe it, there's nothing to it

[Repeat 1]

Hey, cuz I believe in me, oh

If I can burn it, then I can do it
If I just believe it, there's nothing to it

[Repeat 1]

Hey, if I just light my Bic
I can fry
I can fry
I can fry, hey
If I just light my Bic
I can fry
Fry-eye-eye

[LadyHitchhiker]

to the tune of I wear my sunglasses at night by LadyHitchhiker and Raron, I bring my towel out at night

I bring my towel out at night
so I can
so I can
Watch you weep then read the guide's lines.
And I bring my towel out at night
so I can
so I can
Keep track of the fish inside my ear
While she's receiving me
I cut cross the galaxy
Has she got control of me? - I turn to her and say:
Don't mess with the guy who's making tea
oh no.
Don't mess with the guy with tea
oh no
I can't believe it!
You gonna mess with the guy with tea
oh no.
And I bring my towel out at night
so I can
Forget my name while you walk through walls
so I can
And I bring my towel out at night
so I can
See you turn into a penguin's thighs
so I can
While she's receiving me I cut cross the galaxy
. . .
Don't mess with the guy who's making tea
oh no.
Don't mess with the guy who's making tea
oh no
I can't believe it!
Don't be afraid of the guy with tea
oh no
it can't escape you

'cus you got it made with the guy with tea
oh no.
I said: I bring my towel out at night
I bring my towel out at night
I bring my towel out at night
I said to you now: I bring my towel out at night

I bring my towel out at night
I bring my towel out at night
I cry to you: I bring my towel out at night
I bring my towel out at night

[Raron]

I believe I can fry has been bouncing round in my head for YEARS, finally me and LH put it down... YAY! US!

[B Rag]

Nice! Now I need to read The Stand so I'll understand it...

[William50]

Nice! Now I need to read The Stand so I'll understand it...

Yes, reading it would help.

[The Lady of Shadows]

i believe i can fry :lol:

[LadyHitchhiker]

:nana:

I want to make more llama songs... I will work on some hopefully soon..

[Jon]

Trash Can Man's I Believe I can Fry, written by LadyHitchhiker and Raron
I used to think that I could not go on
And life was nothing but this dreadful song
But now I know the meaning of true love
I'm leaning towards everlasting harm
If I can burn it, then I can do it
If I just believe it, there's nothing to it

[1]
I believe I can fry
I believe I can torch the sky
light it up in every way
strike a match to light the way
I believe I can scorch
I see me running through that burning door
I believe I can fry
I believe I can fry
I believe I can fry

See I was on the way to Cibola
Sometimes the voices seem so loud
There are nukes in this world I must retrieve
But first the fire starts inside of me, oh

If I can burn it, then I can do it
If I just believe it, there's nothing to it

[Repeat 1]

Hey, cuz I believe in me, oh

If I can burn it, then I can do it
If I just believe it, there's nothing to it

[Repeat 1]

Hey, if I just light my Bic
I can fry
I can fry
I can fry, hey
If I just light my Bic
I can fry
Fry-eye-eye



Got anything with "Ain't that right happy crappy" in it?

[Jon]

I believe I can fry has been bouncing round in my head for YEARS, finally me and LH put it down... YAY! US!



WAIT!!!! He LIVES!!!!

Hey dude!! Walter O'dim here!

[B Rag]

I'd like to request that someone do a parody of my new favorite song, Tarzan and Jane by Toybox. Ideally, it would be about Roland and Jake.

I would do it myself, but I have to be somewhere in a few minutes. I may do it later, though, if nobody else will.

[LadyHitchhiker]

Deep in the midworld in the land of adventure lives Roland
I am Jake and I love my billy bumbler

My name is Roland I am blue-eyed man
Everyone shivers when the gun's in my hand
Come baby come I will show you how to sling
Let's go honey I'm slinging

Roland is handsome Roland is strong
He's really cute and his quest is long
Roland is handsome Roland is strong
So listen to the llama song

I am Roland from Gilead you can be my friend
I am Jake and I love my billy bumbler

When you touch me I feel funny
I feel it too when you're touching me
Come to Keystone York and unleash me
Yes I'll go if you carry me

Roland is handsome full of surprise
He's really cute; Rosalita think he nice
Roland is handsome his quest is long
So listen to the llama song

I am Roland from Gilead you can be my friend
I am Jake and I love my billy bumbler

Yeah
Go cheetah get banana
Hey monkey get funky

Walk along Roland
Go lobstrosity bite the handa
Hey lobstrosity get fingies

When I am dancing I feel funky
Why do you keep ignoring me
Roland is here, come kiss me baby
Coochie coochie kiss me tenderly

Roland is handsome Roland is strong (me Roland)
He's really cute and his quest is long (long way)
Roland is handsome Roland is strong
So listen to the llama song

I am Roland from Gilead you can be my friend
I am Jake and I love my billy bumbler

You go
Go lobstrosity bite the handa
Hey lobstrosity get fingies

I am Jake and I love my billy bumbler

And so they got funky but will Roland and Jake
stay attuned



Yeah that's what I got so far B Rag... probably needs more work

[LadyHitchhiker]

(to tune of creep by Radiohead)

When you were here before
I knew you would die
You're just like an angel
Ka-tet makes me cry
You float like a feather
In a moving-on world
I wish I was special
You're so fucking special

But I'm a creep
a gunslinger
What the hell am I doing here?
I don't belong here

I don't care if it hurts
I want to reach the tower
I want a perfect body
I'd pay with my soul
I want you to forget when I'm not around
You're so fucking special
I wish I was special

But I'm a creep
A gunslinger
What the hell I'm doing here?
I don't belong here

They're leaving me again
They're leaving now
They run run run

Whatever makes you happy
Whatever you want
You're so fucking special
I wish I was special

But I'm a creep
a gunslinger
What the hell am I doing here?
I don't belong here
I don't belong here

[LadyHitchhiker]

I was going back and reading over some parodies and some of these are REALLY funny. Even the ones I tried to do seriously... :lol:

[LadyHitchhiker]

To tune of Say It Ain’t So by Weezer
Oh yeah.
All right.

Somebody’s heroine is helping my detox
Somebody’s succubus is giving me chills.
Guess I’ll just close my eyes.

Oh yeah.
All right.
Feels good.
Inside.

Flip on the telly... wrestle with willy.
Somethin is bubblin inside my mind
The bottle is ready to go.

Say it aint so a-woah-a-woah.
Your job as a gunslinger.
Say it aint so a-woah-a-woah.
My love is a death-bringer.

I can’t confront you, I never could do...
That which might hurt you.
Try and be cool, when I say:
This way is-a-beambreak-away-from-you-that-takes-your-tower-everyday!
Be cool.

Say it ain’t so a-woah-a-woah.
Your job as a gunslinger
Say it ain’t so a-woah-a-woah.
My love is a death-bringer!

“Dear Eddie, I write you in spite of years of silence.
You cleaned up, found Jesus, things are good also I hear.”
This bottle of Stevens awakens ancient feelings...
Like father, step-father...
The son is drowning in the flood! yeah yeah-yeah yeah-yeah!

Say it ain’t so a-woah-a-woah.
Your job as a gunslinger
Say it ain’t so a-woah-a-woah.
My love is a death-bringer!

[B Rag]

Deep in the midworld in the land of adventure lives Roland
I am Jake and I love my billy bumbler

My name is Roland I am blue-eyed man
Everyone shivers when the gun's in my hand
Come baby come I will show you how to sling
Let's go honey I'm slinging

Roland is handsome Roland is strong
He's really cute and his quest is long
Roland is handsome Roland is strong
So listen to the llama song

I am Roland from Gilead you can be my friend
I am Jake and I love my billy bumbler

When you touch me I feel funny
I feel it too when you're touching me
Come to Keystone York and unleash me
Yes I'll go if you carry me

Roland is handsome full of surprise
He's really cute; Rosalita think he nice
Roland is handsome his quest is long
So listen to the llama song

I am Roland from Gilead you can be my friend
I am Jake and I love my billy bumbler

Yeah
Go cheetah get banana
Hey monkey get funky

Walk along Roland
Go lobstrosity bite the handa
Hey lobstrosity get fingies

When I am dancing I feel funky
Why do you keep ignoring me
Roland is here, come kiss me baby
Coochie coochie kiss me tenderly

Roland is handsome Roland is strong (me Roland)
He's really cute and his quest is long (long way)
Roland is handsome Roland is strong
So listen to the llama song

I am Roland from Gilead you can be my friend
I am Jake and I love my billy bumbler

You go
Go lobstrosity bite the handa
Hey lobstrosity get fingies

I am Jake and I love my billy bumbler

And so they got funky but will Roland and Jake
stay attuned



Yeah that's what I got so far B Rag... probably needs more work

:excited::clap:

[LadyHitchhiker]

:blushes: Thank you B Rag!!!!!!!!! :wub:

[LadyHitchhiker]

Don’t fear the reaper parody
All the worlds moved on
Here but now they're gone
Roland don't fear the future
Nor do the wind, the sun or the rain..we can be like they are
Come on Roland...don't fear the future
Let me read the cards...don't fear the future
We'll be able to fly...don't fear the future
Baby I'm your man...

All our time is done
Here but now they're gone
Eddie and Susannah
Are together in eternity...Eddie and Susannah
40,000 different worlds everyday...Like Eddie and Susannah
40,000 different worlds everyday...Redefine happiness
Another 40,000 coming everyday...We can be like they are
Come on baby...don't fear the future
Baby take my gun...don't fear the future
We'll be able to fly...don't fear the future
Baby I'm your man...

Love, we followed on
Here but now they're gone
Came the last night of madness
And it was clear he couldn't go on
Then the door was open and Eddie appeared
The door opened and Jake appeared
The door opened and Sus’ appeared saying don't be afraid
Come on baby...and he had no fear
And she rolled to him...then they started to fly
They looked backward and said goodbye... she had become like they are
She had taken his hand...she had become like they are
Come on baby...don't fear the future

[LadyHitchhiker]

Two brand spanking new ones!!!!!!

Say a little prayer for me parody
The moment I wake up
Before I put on my gunstrap
I open up a door for you
While combing my hair now,
And wondering what chaps to wear now,
I open up a door for you

The tower forever, you'll stay in my heart
and I will love you
Forever, and ever, we never will part
Oh, how I love you
The tower, forever, that's how it must be
To live without you
Would only mean my death for me.

I run from the bus, dear,
While wheeling I think of us, dear,
I open up a door for you
At sup I just take time
And all through my jerky break-time,
I open up a door for you

The tower forever, you'll stay in my heart
and I will love you
Forever, and ever, we never will part
Oh, how I love you
The tower, forever, that's how it must be
To live without you
Would only mean my death for me.

I open up a door for you

I open up a door for you

My darling believe me, ( beleive me)
For me there is no one but you!
Please lead me too (open the door)
And I'll follow you (open the door)
Open the door now babe (open the door)

The tower forever, you'll stay in my heart
and I will love you
Forever, and ever, we never will part
Oh, how I love you
The tower, forever, that's how it must be
To live without you
Would only mean my death for me. (oooooooooh)


I will follow him parody
Roland:
I will follow it
Follow it wherever it may go,
And near it, I always will dream
For nothing can keep me away,
The tower’s my destiny.

I will follow it,
Ever since I touched the ball I knew
There isn't a card game too steep
A railway so high it can keep,
Keep me away, from the tower

Eddie:
I love him, I love him, I love him,
And where he goes,
I'll follow, I'll follow, I'll follow.
he'll always be my true quest, my true, my true quest
from now until forever, forever, forever

Susannah:
I will follow Him,
Follow Him wherever He may go,
There isn't a card game too steep
A railway so high it can keep,
Keep me away, from the tower

Ka-tet:
We will follow Him,
Follow Him wherever He may go,
There isn't a card game too steep
A railway so high it can keep,
Keep us away, away from the tower

I love Him
(Oh yes I love Him)
I'll follow
(I'm gonna follow)
True love
(He'll always be my true, true love)
Forever
(Now until forever)
I love Him, I love Him, I love Him,
And where He goes,
I'll follow, I'll follow, I'll follow,
He'll always be my true love,
My true love, my true love,
From now until forever,
Forever, forever...

There isn't a card game too steep
A railway so high it can keep,
Keep me away, away from His love

[LadyHitchhiker]

Parody of Squeezebox by the Who
S'zanna's got a gun now
She wears on her chest
And when Eddie comes home
He never gets no rest

cause she’s shooting all night
And her aim is all right
S'zanna's got a gun now
Eddie never sleeps at night

Well the Jake don’t eat
And the Oy cant sleep
There’s no escape from the shooting
In the whole damn street

cause she’s shooting all night
And her aim is all right
S'zanna's got a gun now
Eddie never sleeps at night

Trigger’s in and out and in and out and in and out and in and out
Trigger’s in and out and in and out and in and out and in and out

cause she’s shooting all night
And her aim is all right
S'zanna's got a gun now
Eddie never sleeps at night

He goes, squeeze me, come on and squeeze me
Come on and tease me like you do
I’m so in love with you
S'zanna's got a gun now
Eddie never sleeps at night

Trigger’s in and out and in and out and in and out and in and out
Trigger’s in and out and in and out and in and out and in and out

cause she’s shooting all night
And her aim is all right
S'zanna's got a gun now
Eddie never sleeps at night

[LadyHitchhiker]

Don't Bother (Shakira)
She's got the kind of look that defies gravity
She's the greatest hook
And she's fat free (fat free fat free fat free)

For her I went to school
And she speaks in my dreams
I promise I won’t scream
Oh isn't she cool

She practices losing beams
She'd never lose her nerve
She's more than I deserve
And she’s far better than me

Hey, hey

So don't bother
I won't die of obsession
I promise you won't ever see me cry
Don't feel sorry

And don't bother
I'll be fine
But she's waiting
In time even I will lose my mind
So don't bother, be unkind

I'm sure she doesn't know
How to devote to you like I would
I beat her at that one good
Don't you think so?

She's countless feet tall
She must think I'm a flea
I'm really a cat you see
And it's not my last life at all

Hey, hey

So don't bother
I won't die of obsession
I promise you won't ever see me cry
Don't feel sorry

And don't bother
I'll be fine
But she's waiting
In time even I will lose my mind
So don't bother, be unkind

For you, I'd give up all I own
And move to a communist country
If you came with me, of course
And I'd file my nails so they don't hurt you
And lose those pounds, and learn about football
If I could stay, but you won't, but you won't

So don't bother,
I'll be fine, I'll be fine, I'll be fine, I'll be
fine
Promise you won't ever see me cry(cry cry cry cry y y y y y)

And after all I'm glad that my mind will be wiped
Promise you won't ever see me cry y

Don't bother,
I'll be fine, I'll be fine, I'll be fine, I'll be
fine
Promise you won't ever see me cry cry cry cry y y y

And after all I'm glad that my mind will be wiped
(will be wiped, will be wiped, will be wiped)
Promise you won't ever see me cry cry cry y y y y

[LadyHitchhiker]

All my drugs are packed
I’m ready to go
Got a tourist shirt to cover the load
I have no one to wake to say goodbye
And my heart is achin
It’s early morn
The taxis waitin
He’s blowin his horn
Already I’m so jonesing
I could die

So see me and smile for me
Tell me that you’ll wait on me
And to this world I never will let go
cause I’m leavin on a jet plane
Don’t know when I will land again
Oh man, I hate to go

There’s so many times that I’ve come down
So many times I’ve messed around
I tell you now, life don’t mean a thing
Evry place I go, Ill think of you
Evry song I sing, Ill sing for you
When I come back, I’ll have my own drug ring

So see me and smile for me
Tell me that you’ll wait on me
And to this world I never will let go
cause I’m leavin on a jet plane
Don’t know when I will land again
Oh man, I hate to go

Now the time has come for Roland to meet you
One more time
Let me see you
Then close my eyes
We’ll be on our way
Dream about the days to come
When I won’t have my drugs to cope
For how long a time, I wont have to say

So see me and smile for me
Tell me that you’ll wait on me
And to this world I never will let go
cause I’m leavin on a jet plane
Don’t know when I will land again
Oh man, I hate to go

But, I’m leavin on a jet plane
Don’t know when I will land again
Oh man, I hate to go

[LadyHitchhiker]

I don't want a lot from Gilead
There is just one thing I need
I don’t care who you tie and burn
To the Charyu tree
I just want you for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true
All I want from Gilead is you

I don't want a lot from Gilead
There is just one thing I need
I don’t care who you tie and burn
To the Charyu tree

I don't need to hang my pistol
There in my holster
Gunnas won’t make me happy
As a toy on Christmas day

I just want you for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true
All I want from Gilead is you

I won't ask for much from Gilead
I won't even wish for snow
And I, I just wanna keep on waiting
In this bonfire’s glow

I won't make a list and send it
Ask for astin so I won’t be sick
I won't even stay awake
To hear those magic triggers click

Cause I just want you here tonight
Holding onto me so tight
What more can I do
Oh baby, all I want from Gilead is you

All the stars are shining
So brightly everywhere
And the sound of Roland’s
Laughter fills the air

And everyone is singing
I hear those blaine’s wheels spinning
Walter won't you bring me
The one I really need
Won't you please bring my baby to me, quickly

I don't want a lot from Gilead
This is all I'm asking for
I just wanna see my baby
Standing right outside the door

I just want you for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true
Baby, all I want from Gilead is you

All I want from Gilead is you, baby

[LadyHitchhiker]

Janie's Got A Gun Parody
Dum, dum, dum, honey what have you done
Dum, dum, dum, it's the sound of my gun
Dum, dum, dum, honey what have you done
Dum, dum, dum, it's the sound, it's the sound...
Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah....

S’zanna’s got a gun
Szanna’s got a gun
All the worlds’ve come undone
Can’t plot the days by the sun
What did that bad guy do?
Throw a brick right on you?

You know he never got arrested
He threw the kid into a cab
But man, he had it comin'
Now that S’zanna’s got a gun
She ain't never gonna let ‘im be bad

S’zanna’s got a gun
S’zanna’s got a gun
Her dog day's just begun
Now everybody is on the run
Tell her now it's untrue
What did that bad guy do?

He jacked the little bitty baby
The man drove her quite insane
They say that Walter made him blunder
The lightnin' and the thunder
Knew that someone had to start the pain

Run away, run away from the pain
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,

Run away, run away from the pain
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Run away, run away, run, run away

S’zanna’s got a gun
S’zanna’s got a gun
Her dog day's just begun
Now everybody is on the run
Tell me it's not true
It's S’zanna’s last I.O.U.

She had to take him down easy
And put a bullet in his brain
She said 'cause nobody believes me
The man made me a sleeze
He ain't never gonna be the same

Run away, run away from the pain
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

Run away, run away from the pain
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Run away, run away, run, run away

S’zanna’s got a gun
S’zanna’s got a gun
S’zanna’s got a gun
Everybody is on the run

S’zanna’s got a gun
Her dog day's just begun
Now everybody's on the run (Honey, honey what's your problem)
'Cause S’zanna’s got a gun (Tell me it ain't right)
S’zanna’s got a gun (Was it bad guy’s head lobbin')
Her dog day's just begun (That made you scream at night)
Now everybody's on the run
S’zanna’s got a gun

[LadyHitchhiker]

(tune of final countdown by europe)

We’re joining together,
But still its farewell
And maybe we’ll come back,
To tv, who can tell?
I guess there is no one to blame
We’re making ground
Will things ever be the same again?

It’s the star trek countdown...

We're warping to Vulcan and still we stand tall
Cause maybe they’ll see us and welcome us all
With so many light years to go and things to be found
I’m sure that we’ll all miss her so.

[LadyHitchhiker]

You fill up my senses parody

Like Shardik in the forest
Like the mountains mute’s springtime
Like Zoltan in the rain
Like a mule in the desert
Lobstrosity oceans
You fill up my pistol
Come fill me again

Come let me find you
Let me give my life for you
Let me drown in your laughter
Let me die in your path
Let me lay down beside you
Let me always be with you
Come let me find you
Come circle again

Let me give my life for you
Come let me find you
Come circle again

You fill up my senses
Like Shardik in the forest
Like the mountain mute’s springtime
Like a Zoltan in the rain
Like a mule in the desert
Lobstrosity oceans
You fill up my pistol
Come fill me again

[LadyHitchhiker]

Umbrella parody
Ahuh Ahuh (Yea Callahan)
Ahuh Ahuh (Good man gone bad)
Ahuh Ahuh (Draw three... Action)
Ahuh Ahuh

No clouds in my paths
Let it rain, I shoot straight even with blanks
Eddie’s coming down with the Jones
When the clouds path‘s not gone, we give’em hella
We fly faster than weather
And Blaine is better, You know me,
an anticipation, for inspiration. Stocked chips for the rainy day
Jake, Roland is back with little Ms. Sunshine
Callahan where you at?

You have my heart
And we'll never be worlds apart
Maybe shoot magazines
But you'll still be my star
Baby cause in here hark
You can't see shiny cars
And that's when you need beware
With you I'll always share
Because

[Chorus]
When the sun shines, we’ll shine together
Told you I'll be here forever
Said I'll always be your friend
Took an oath I'ma stick it out till the end
Now it's raining more than ever
But we'll still have each other
You can stand with my billybumbler
You can stand with my billybumbler
(Eller eller eh eh eh)
With my billybumbler
(eller eller eh eh)
With my billybumbler
(eller eller eh eh)
With my billybumbler
(eller eller eh eh eh eh eh eh)

The tower you see, will never come in between
You're part of my entity, here for Infinity
When the world has took it's part
When the worlds have dealt their cards
If the hands are hard, together we'll mend your heart
Because

[Chorus]
When the boy dies, we’ll die together
Told you I'll be here forever
Said I'll always be a friend
Took an oath I'ma stick it out till the end
Now that we’re slaying more than ever
Know that we'll still have each other
You can stand with my billybumbler
You can stand with my billybumbler
(Eller eller eh eh eh)
With my billybumbler
(eller eller eh eh)
With my billybumbler
(eller eller eh eh)
With my billybumbler
(eller eller eh eh eh eh eh eh)

You can run into my arms
It's okay don't be alarmed
Come into me
There's no tower in between our love
So go on and let the pain pour
I'll be all you need and more
Because

[Chorus]
When the boy dies, we’ll die together
Told you I'll be here forever
Said I'll always be a friend
Took an oath I'ma stick it out till the end
Now that we’re slaying more than ever
Know that we'll still have each other
You can stand with my billybumbler
You can stand with my billybumbler
(Eller eller eh eh eh)
With my billybumbler
(eller eller eh eh)
With my billybumbler
(eller eller eh eh)
With my billybumbler
(eller eller eh eh eh eh eh eh)

It's paining
Ooh baby it's paining
Boy come to me
Come into me
It's raining
Oh boy I’m paining

[LadyHitchhiker]

Parody of Filter's Hey Man Nice Shot
I wish I'd followed you
Now its a little late
What you could've taught me
I could've seen my father's face
They think that there's a happy ending
Well that's wrong
For the most part they're right
But look how they all got strong
That's why I say Roland nice shot
What a good shot man
Roland
Has gun
Hey man
Have fun
Nice shot
Now that Mordred's gone
And the air is all clear
Those who stayed right there
Got a new kind of fear
You'd fight and you were right
But they want to belong
They'd stick it in your face
And let you think what they consider wrong
That's why I say Roland nice, nice shot
What a good shot man
Roland
Has gun
Hey man
Have fun
Nice shot
I wish I'd followed you
I wish I'd followed you
I'd say
Nice shot

[LadyHitchhiker]

Parody of Buttons by Pussycatdolls

I think if I had this performed it would be a band we would name the Pizzahutdolls...

I wanna eat some turkey stuffin'! (Uh huh)
But you bring nothin' (Uh)
Saying what you gonna feed me (Uh huh)
But you bring nothin' (Uh)

I wanna eat some turkey stuffin'! (Uh huh)
I'm telling you loosen up my buttons baby (Uh huh)
But you bring nothin' (Uh)
Saying what you gonna feed me (Uh huh)
But you bring nothin' (Uh)

Tips I fill
The pizza man I fall for
I like when the pizza guy
Don't leave me asking for more
I'm a hungry mama (mama)
Who knows just how to get what I wanna (wanna)
What I want to do is spring this order on you (on you)
Back up all of the things that I told you (told you)

You've been ordering all the right food all night long
But I can't seem to get you over here to help me out
Baby, can't you see? (see)
How these clothes are fitting on me (me)
They'll be falling atta my feet (beat)
I'm about to blow
I don't think you know

I wanna eat some turkey stuffin'! (Uh huh)
I'm telling you loosen up my buttons baby (Uh huh)
But you bring nothin' (Uh)
Saying what you gonna feed me (Uh huh)
But you bring nothin' (Uh)

I wanna eat some turkey stuffin'! (Uh huh)
I'm telling you loosen up my buttons baby (Uh huh)
But you bring nothin' (Uh)
Saying what you gonna feed me (Uh huh)
But you bring nothin' (Uh)

You say you're a big boy
But I can't agree
'Cause the food you said you had
Ain't been put in me
I wonder (wonder)
If I'm just too much for you
Wonder (wonder)
My appetite don't make you just
Wonder (wonder)
What I got next for you
What you want to do? (do)

Take a chance to recognize that you could feed me yours
I can see, just like most guys your cooking don't please
Baby, can't you see? (see)
How these clothes are fitting on me (me)
They'll be falling atta my feet (beat)
I'm about to blow
I don't think you know

I wanna eat some turkey stuffin'! (Uh huh)
I'm telling you loosen up my buttons baby (Uh huh)
But you bring nothin' (Uh)
Saying what you gonna feed me (Uh huh)
But you bring nothin' (Uh)

Come on baby, feed me stuffin' babe
Some turkey stuffin' babe
Baby, won't you feed me stuffin' babe?
Bring the stuffin' babe

I wanna eat some turkey stuffin'! (Uh huh)
I'm telling you loosen up my buttons baby (Uh huh)
But you bring nothin' (Uh)
Saying what you gonna feed me (Uh huh)
But you bring nothin' (Uh)

I wanna eat some turkey stuffin'! (Uh huh)
I'm telling you loosen up my buttons baby (Uh huh)
But you bring nothin' (Uh)
Saying what you gonna feed me (Uh huh)
But you bring nothin' (Uh)

[B Rag]

:D
I would write one, but I've forgotten most of the details of the series. :doh:

[LadyHitchhiker]

Yeah well that turkey stuffin one had NOTHING to do with dt. It was just for funsies. :nana:

[B Rag]

:nana:
Funsies!!!

[LadyHitchhiker]

Hmmmmmmmmm still can't get to page one! Please tell me it hasn't disappeared!

[LadyHitchhiker]

I'm begging you, Jean! Please tell me it's okay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I don't want to add more parodies if they may disappear!

[LadyHitchhiker]

Yayyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!! Page one is back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :) :) :)

[LadyHitchhiker]

I heard the song "Twilight" by Elliot Smith the other day, and when I was checking in books when the new Stephenie Meyer book came out, I came up with this to the tune of that very song:

Almost Forgot About Twilight
Haven't seen her name in a long time
But when the books come in I start crying
A new book and I've lost my mind
I live for the day when the craze is dying

I've got books to read, and none of hers I wanna see
I'd rather read Rosemary's Baby
Read some Stephen King, or just about anything
Cuz I'd rather read Rosemary's Baby

I can't help but feel lonely
But her books won't make me feel better
Pretty soon you'll find it's the only
thing you do is try to keep it together

I'm nice to you, I'd rather read something true
instead of Bella complaining she's somebody's baby
I could wear a smile if you stayed away a while
But how long before she has the baby?

Because I guess I'm not too bright
Well, I almost forgot about twilight
I just want them out of sight
Don't want to hear about Jake or Edward, I got no fight

Books are wonderful, when they're beautiful
But I'm already somebody's baby
And if I went with you I'd disappoint you too
Well, I'm done hearing about Bella's baby
Or who she's going to have as her baby

[fivethirtytwo]

Whenever, Wherever by Shakira (Parody)

Lucky I was born so far away so
Like Hercules, I could go the distance

Lucky I was born with an undamaged hand so
I could lose two fingers saving existence

lo ray lo ray lo ray
lo ray lo ray lo ray

Can't you see
The Crimson King says EEEEE!

Whenever, wherever,
I'm meant to reach the Tower
I'll be there and you'll be here
So suck my balls, my dear

There over, here under,
You'll never have to wonder
Who wins in the end, my dear
'cuz Randall Flagg is queer

[LadyHitchhiker]

Wow!!!!!!!!!!! That's wonderful! More more more!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[fivethirtytwo]

Haha, why thank you. And since you insist, I guess I'll give another one a go. Although I'll tackle a much easier one with minimal changes this time.

You Sexy Thing by Hot Chocolate (Parody)
(As sung by Walter O' Dim)

I believe in miracles
Where you from
You Crimson King (Crimson King, you)

I believe in miracles
Since you came along
You Crimson King

Where did you come from, demon?
How did you know, I needed you?
How did you know, I needed you so badly?
How did you know I'd give my soul gladly?

Yesterday, I was being raped on the road by strangers
Now you're lying next to me, giving it to me

[LadyHitchhiker]

That's absolutely wonderful!!!!!!!!!! :excited: I can't wait to see more!!! :) It's been a while since my brain has been able to be inspired since it's been so occupied, but perhaps with this thread more active I will be once again more inspired....

[LadyHitchhiker]

Parody of Vanilla Ice's Ice Ice Baby, a parody of the Dreamcatcher book. Done with a little help from Raron. It's really gross but good, we think.
Killa Butt Butt Baby
Yo M I B kick it!
Butt butt baby
Butt butt baby
All right stop
drag up a sled and listen
Butt is back with my brand new invention
something grabs a hold of me nightly
flowin' outta butts daily and nightly
Will it ever stop?
Yo, I don't know
turn off the lights and I'll go
to the extreme I destroy butts like vandals
infect a world, badass like Randall
Man
I'll trap the brain in rooms
I'm killing your brain like a poisonous mushroom
Deadly I have my own melody
Invading your brain's is the best felony
Love it or leave it
or stay out omy way
I'm not the good guy
but same shit different day
If it's a porblem
Yo, I'll solve it
Check out my hook while my gun revolves it
Killa Butt Butt Baby
Killa Butt Butt Baby
Killa Butt Butt Baby
Killa Butt Butt Baby
Killa Butt Butt Baby
Your heart's still pumpin'
I'm gonna make your whole body be jumpin'
Quick on the learn, no point in faking
excuse me, could you please get me more bacon?
Burning servers if they ain't quick and nimble
I'm in charge. Can't you see the symbols?
My brain's overcome by this new tempo
maybe next time I'll just go solo
Rollin' in my 5 0
put the sirens on so I can hear them go
doggie's gone bye bye
just stopped to say hi
did I stop?
No off I fly
kept on cruising to the next stop
I'm going through snow - oh what a cockblock
another dude is dead
you don't like it I say, screw you
but I love my butt weasels and their keening
Jealous 'cause I'm out getting mine
Grey with a guage and killa in the mind
Rolling out got you by the balls
You're my bitch and you're always on call
feel like you're in Hell
I'm feeling fine
like Christmas bells
spreading weasels, hauling ass
jump in the cop car, to the water plant
Bumper to bumper, military got my back
not ready to rest, not ready to slack
Police on the scene
you know what I mean
they passed me up cuz I look squeaky clean
If there was a problem, I'll solve it
Check out my hook while my gun revolves it
Killa Butt Butt Baby
Killa Butt Butt Baby
Killa Butt Butt Baby
Killa Butt Butt Baby
Killa Butt Butt Baby
Take heed I'll take your world before you know it
Weasel in your butt, big enough to implode it
making all sorts of ass sounds
enough to shake and kick holes in the ground
Toiulet's dangerous as a chemical spill
lose your rhyme, your reason, ability to feel
conducted and formed
it's a hell of a spill
we make a hype you wanna run from this
slash up your face like a weasel ninja
cut like a razor blade so fast
Mr. Grey's like, "Damn
look what came out your ass!"
I'd sell it by the tgram
keepin composure when it's time to let loose
filling the toilet with lots of ass juice.
Killa Butt Butt Baby
Killa Butt Butt Baby
Killa Butt Butt Baby
Killa Butt Butt Baby
Killa Butt Butt Baby

[LadyHitchhiker]

Another great parody, by me, of a Blue Oyster Cult Song known by the title Godzilla. I'm enamoured with the silliness of an idea that someone's bowels could take over Japan. They're sitting in the shitter, killing helpless millions of people just from the stench of their bowel movements and farts. Then later, "Oh no, I've really got to go", because where would I really go in this stinkhole? What if this all was contagious??? Like in Dreamcatcher ;)
Buttzilla

With a terrible grimace and a tearing sound
He makes everyone faint just by being around

Helpless people riding on a train named Blaine
Scream bug-eyed as he poops again

He picks up his butt and he throws it back down
Then he wades through the sewage toward the center of town

Oh no, they say he’s got to go
Go go Buttzilla, yeah
Oh no, there goes Tokyo
Go go Buttzilla, yeah

Oh no, I've really gotta go
Go go Buttzilla, yeah
Oh no, there goes tokyo
Go go Buttzilla, yeah

History shows again and again
How human gets taken over by aliens!
Buttzilla!

History shows again and again
How human gets taken over by aliens!
Buttzilla!

[LadyHitchhiker]

Two about my cat Majel. It's pronounced MAY-jull.
Parody of Amazing by Aerosmith
Majel by me
I kept the right thoughts out
And let the wrong ones in
Had an angel of furry to see me through all my sins
There were times in my life
When I was goin' insane
Tryin' to work through
The pain
When I lost my son
And I hit the floor
Yeah, I thought I could make it but couldn't get over the one I adored
I was so sick and tired
Of a livin' a lie
I was feelin' like I
Would die

But my Majel
She sure does try even if she ain't that bright
She's my Majel
And a moment arrives when I know we'll be alright
She's my Majel
And we're sayin' our prayer for the ones that I've lost tonight

My Majel fails when it comes to education
but how high can you fly with broken wings?
Her life was a journey before this destination
And she loves to hear me when I try to sing

She had to learn to cry
before she learned to walk
and I can tell it all just with how loud she talks
She was out on the street,
Just a tryin' to survive
Beggin to stay
Alive

But my Majel
She sure does try even if she ain't that bright
She's my Majel
And a moment arrives when I know we'll be alright
She's my Majel
And we're sayin' our prayer for the ones that I've lost tonight

Parody of Angel.. by Aerosmith

Majel
I'm in love
But, I don't know if I can face it tonight
I'm in tears and the cryin' that I do is without you
I want your love - Let's break the walls between us
Don't say enough - I'll put away my pride
Enough's enough I've suffered and I've seen the light

CHORUS:
Baby
You're my Majel
Come and love me tonight
You're my Majel
Come and make it all right

Don't know what I'm gonna do
About this feeling inside
Yes it's true - Grief has taken me for a ride
Without your love - I'm nothing but a begger
Without your love - I don't have a home
What can I do I'm sleeping in this bed alone

Baby
You're my Majel
Come and love me tonight
You're my Majel
Come and make it all right


Come and love me tonight

You're the reason I live
You're the reason I die
You're the reason I give
When you come out and cry
Don't need no reason why

Baby, Baby

CHORUS:
Baby
You're my Majel
Come and love me tonight
You're my Majel
Come and make it all right


You're my Majel
Come and love me tonight
you're my Majel
Come and make it allright
Come and love me tonight, Come and love me tonight, Come and love me tonight,
Come and love me tonight, Come and love me tonight


This one's even sadder, but sweeter... I feel inspired today.

Parody of Angel by Sarah McLachlan

Majel
Spend all my time praying
For a second chance
For a dream that will make it okay
There’s always another reason
To feel not good enough
And it’s harder at the end of the day
I need some distraction
Oh beautiful Shebrie
Memory seeps from my veins
Let me be happy
And waitless and maybe
I’ll find some peace tonight

In the arms of my Majel
Far away from here
From this dark cold alone room
And the emptiness that I feel
I am pulled from the wreckage
Of my silent grieving
I'm in the arms of my Majel
May I find some comfort here

So tired of missing Linus
And everywhere I turn
There’s something that brings his memory back
And the knife keeps on twisting
I keep on living the lie
That I'll make up for all that I lack
It don’t make no difference
Sleeping one last time
It’s easier just to grieve
in this sweet madness oh
This glorious sadness that brings me to my knees

In the arms of my Majel
Far away from here
From this dark cold alone room
And the emptiness that I feel
I am pulled from the wreckage
Of my silent grieving
I'm in the arms of my Majel
May I find some comfort here
I'm in the arms of my Majel
May I find some comfort here


This one's funny and sweet, I think...
Parody of Angel by Jimi Hendrix
Majel
Majel came from the shelter yesterday
She came home to rescue Mandarin and me
And she told me a story yesterday,
I didn't understand everything she wanted to say to me
And then she perched on the couch over me
She said she's gonna talk more tomorrow

And I said "cry on my sweet Majel,
Cry on through the night,
Cry on my sweet Majel,
Tomorrow I'm gonna be by your side"

Sure enough this morning came unto me
She started talking to us at the sunrise
And my Majel she said unto me
"today is the day for you to rise,
Take the string, play tug-of-war again,
You're gonna rise"
And she came down and wandered

And I said "cry on my sweet Majel,
Cry on through the night,
Cry on my sweet Majel,
Forever I will be by your side"

[LadyHitchhiker]

Where Eagles Dare Parody:
Where Zombies Dare
We walk the streets at night
We go where zombies dare
They pick up every movement
They eat up every loser
With rotting eyes and features
You think they really care?

I ain't digging another God#### f##ing ditch!
You better think about it baby
I ain't digging another God#### f##ing ditch!
You better think about it baby, babe

The stench of warm disease arrests your noontime meal
The zombie genocide is filling all the lands

I ain't digging another God#### f##ing ditch!
You better think about it baby
I ain't digging another God#### f##ing ditch!
You better think about it baby, babe

Let’s forget emotional pain
Let’s go and kick some ass
Forget about the gory stains
Just worry if you’ll last

With rotting eyes and features
You think they really care?
Let's go where zombie dare
We'll go where zombie dare

I ain't digging another God#### f##ing ditch!
You better think about it baby
I ain't digging another God#### f##ing ditch!
You better think about it baby
I ain't digging another God#### f##ing ditch!
You better think about it baby
I ain't digging another God#### f##ing ditch!
You better think about it baby

[Jon]

Just for reference...which "Where Eagles Dare" version is this a parody of?

[LadyHitchhiker]

Weeelll I did it to the Misfits version, but it could be either one, I would think :)

[LadyHitchhiker]

Single Ladies parody

All the single ladies, all the single ladies
All the single ladies, all the single ladies
All the single ladies, all the single ladies
All the single ladies

Why don’t you just give up
I’m back to me, since we broke up. I’m doing all those little things
That used to make you nitpick and trip
And if another man noticed me
I'm down with him, he down with me
Don't pay him any attention
Just cried my tears, for 8 and a half years
Ya can't be mad at me

'Cause If you liked it, then you should have kept a ring on it
If you liked it, then you shoulda kept a ring on it
Don't be mad once you see that he want it
'Cause if you liked it, then you shoulda kept a ring on it
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh

If you liked it, then you should have kept a ring on it
If you liked it, then you shoulda kept a ring on it
Don't be mad once you see that he want it
If you liked it, then you shoulda kept a ring on it

Chapstick on my lips, swiveling my hips
Keeping it sexy, but keeping it clean
Acting up, drink in my cup
I can care less if you drink

I need no permission, did I mention
Won’t pay you any attention
'Cause you had your turn, and now you gonna learn
What it really feels like to miss me

'Cause If you liked it, then you should have kept a ring on it
If you liked it, then you shoulda kept a ring on it
Don't be mad once you see that he want it
'Cause if you liked it, then you shoulda kept a ring on it
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh

If you liked it, then you should have kept a ring on it
If you liked it, then you shoulda kept a ring on it
Don't be mad once you see that he want it
If you liked it, then you shoulda kept a ring on it
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh


Don’t tell me you’re going to give me the world
I'm not that kind of girl
Real love is what I prefer, what I deserve

Here's a man that takes me, then shakes me
I want my own destiny, love for infinity and beyond
Pull me into his arms, prove he’ll never harm
And you don't, you'll be alone, and like a ghost, I'll be gone

All the single ladies, all the single ladies
All the single ladies, all the single ladies
All the single ladies, all the single ladies
All the single ladies

Now just give up
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh

'Cause If you liked it, then you should have kept a ring on it
If you liked it, then you shoulda kept a ring on it
Don't be mad once you see that he want it
If you liked it, then you shoulda kept a ring on it
Oh, oh, oh

If you liked it, then you should have kept a ring on it
If you liked it, then you shoulda kept a ring on it
Don't be mad once you see that he want it
If you liked it, then you shoulda kept a ring on it
Oh, oh, oh

[LadyHitchhiker]

Thought it would be funny/therapeutic to do a Scotty doesn't know song...

Just for the record, I haven't talked to Wally in weeks, but it's still a funny idea...

Wally doesn't know that Liz and me
Talk at least once every single day
She tells him she's in work but she doesn't go
Still she's on her knees and Wally doesn't know!

Oh Wally doesn't know!
So Don't Tell Wally!
Wally doesn't know!
Wally doesn't know!
So Don't Tell Wally!

Liz says that she's out shopping,
But she's under me and I'm not stopping...

Because Wally doesn't know!
Wally doesn't know! (X3)
So don't tell Wally!
Wally doesn't know!

Don't tell Wally!

I can't believe he's so stupid
So we're both struck by cupid
Liz hung up him on the phone
And she's trying not to moan.
Ready for her next call and he knows nothing!

Wally doesn't know!(X3)
So don't tell Wally!
Wally doesn't know!(X3)

We'll put on a show!
Everyone will go!
Wally doesn't know!(x3)

The parkin lot
Why not? It's so cool when you feel hot!
On his car, in the snow
Life is so hard because Wally doesn't know!

We did it on his birthday...

Wally doesn't know!(X4)

Wally doesn't know!
Wally won't know!
Wally doesn't know!
Wally's gotta know!
Gotta tell Wally!
Gotta tell him myself!
Wally doesn't know! (X10)

[Chant] Wally doesn't know! (x7)
[Chant] Wally's gotta go!

[LadyHitchhiker]

A song I made years ago, working fast food when there was so many leaks in the dish washing area... it surely made people laugh instead of crying because it was such a miserable situation.

To the tune of Knock Three Times by Tony Orlando and Dawn

Hey girl whatcha doin in there?
Washing dishes, Taking orders, Water leaking above you.
I can hear the music playin'.
I can see your body swayin'.
Water below on you, water on you glistening.
I love you

chorus
Oh my darlin!
Knock three times on the ceiling if you want a leak!
Mmmm twice on the pipe if you want an explosion!
Oh my goodness!
Now it's leaking down the hallway!
Oh twice on the pipe means to work you don't show!

If you take orders at the window tonight
Taking my money, my order known by heart
because of how many times that I saw you.
Go home I implored you
And now I see the ceiling's falling apart.

chorus
Oh my darlin!
Knock three times on the ceiling if you want a leak!
Mmmm twice on the pipe if you want an explosion!
Oh my goodness!
Now it's leaking down the hallway!
Oh twice on the pipe means to work you don't show!

I can hear the music playin'.
I can see your body swayin'.
Water below on you, water on you glistening.
I love you

chorus
Oh my darlin
Oh my darlin!
Knock three times on the ceiling if you want a leak!
Mmmm twice on the pipe if you want an explosion!
Oh my goodness!
Now it's leaking down the hallway!
Oh twice on the pipe means to work you don't show!

[LadyHitchhiker]

Blow Parody

Dance!
Tank top on, wearing my ratty jeans
Not too sexy, but still not quite sleaze
Avoid the rocks or else I might bleed
If you want to help, pick up sticks for me
It's time to pull that string and mow that grass all down
(I'm about to!)
Dandelions taking over, but now they're not getting out!

CHORUS:
I'm about to mow! I'm about to mow!
Beware you garden gnomes!
I'm about to mow!
Beware you garden gnomes!
(Cause I'm about to!)

Dandelions what? We're taking control
We get what we want, we do what you don't
Dirt and clippings cover the ground
If I have enough gas, I'll do the whole town
It's time to scare the wildlife and take the mower out
(Cause I'm about to!)
Dandelion, we're taking names, your heads will cover the ground

CHORUS

Go, go, go, go insane, go insane
Blow some clippings, keep the rain off
And let me see them hands, let me, let me see them hands
Go insane, go insane
Blow some clippings, keep the rain off
And let me see them hands, let me, let me see them hands
Using the mower
Get used to it

CHORUS

[LadyHitchhiker]

I Can See Clearly Now the Rain is Gone Parody
I can see clearly now my husband's gone
I can see all the love that is on my way
Gone are the dark thoughts that had me blind
It's gonna be a bright bright happy bouncy sunshiny day

I think I can make it now, my husband's gone
All of my bad feelings have disappeared.
Here is the life that I've been praying for
It's gonna be a bright bright happy bouncy sunshiny day

Look all around there's nothing but love in my life
Look straight ahead, nothing but a lovely life

I can see clearly now my husband's gone
I can see all the love that is on my way
Gone are the dark thoughts that had me blind
It's gonna be a bright bright happy bouncy sunshiny day

[LadyHitchhiker]

Tequila makes her clothes fall off parody
Music Makes Her Clothes Fall Off

She said I’m going out with my girlfriends
Eating at the Holiday Kitchen
Lord have mercy, my only thought
Was music makes her clothes fall off

I told her put an extra layer on
I know what happens when the music's on
Her closet’s missing half the things she’s bought
Yeah music makes her clothes fall off

(Chorus)
She’ll start with kickin’ off of her shoes
Put her socks in her purse
Leave her jacket in the bathroom stall
And from there it just gets worse

Her shirt aint gonna last too long
If the DJ puts Hendrix on
She might come home in a table cloth
Yeah music makes her clothes fall off

She can handle any church brunch
She can even take a punch
Even looking at the Hoff
But music makes her clothes fall off

She don’t mean nothing - she’s just havin fun
Tomorrow she’ll say oh what have I done
Her friends will joke about the stuff she lost
yeah music makes her clothes fall off
oh music makes her clothes fall off (x2)

[LadyHitchhiker]

Salem's Lot Magic Trance
"Bad Romance" Parody

Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh!
Caught in a magic trance
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh!
Caught in a magic trance

Rah-rah-ah-ah-ah-ah!
Roma-roma-mamaa!
Ga-ga-ooh-la-la!
Want your magic trance

Rah-rah-ah-ah-ah-ah!
Roma-roma-mamaa!
Ga-ga-ooh-la-la!
Want your magic trance

I want your daddy
I want your sissy
I want your everything
As long as it's free
I want your blood
(blood-blood-blood I want your blood)

I want your mama
The taste of your hand
I want your leather-studded kiss on my neck
I want your blood
blood-blood-blood
I want your blood
(blood-blood-blood I want your blood)

You know that I want you
And you know that I'll feed you
I want it bad, your magic trance

I want your blood and
I want your revenge
You and me could write a magic trance
(Oh-oh-oh--oh-oh!)
I want your blood and
All your bloodrs' revenge
You and me could write a magic trance

Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh!
Caught in a magic trance
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh!
Caught in a magic trance

Rah-rah-ah-ah-ah-ah!
Roma-roma-mamaa!
Ga-ga-ooh-la-la!
Want your magic trance

I want your horror
I want your sign
‘Cause you're an animal
To feast on and you're mine
I want your blood
(blood-blood-blood I want your blood-uuhh)

I want your type o
Your crimson slick
Want you in my Salem's Lot
Want your thick
I want your blood
blood-blood-blood
I want your blood
(blood-blood-blood I want your blood)

You know that I want you
('Cause I'm a free bitch baby!)
And you know that I need you
I want it bad, magic trance

I want your blood and
I want your revenge
You and me could write a magic trance
(Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh!)
I want your blood and
All your bloody revenge
You and me could write a magic trance

Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh!
Caught in a magic trance
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh!
Caught in a magic trance

Rah-rah-ah-ah-ah-ah!
Roma-roma-mamaa!
Ga-ga-ooh-la-la!
Want your magic trance

Rah-rah-ah-ah-ah-ah!
Roma-roma-mamaa!
Ga-ga-ooh-la-la!
Want your magic trance

suck suck plasma baby
taste it
taste that bitch crazy

suck suck plasma baby
taste it
taste that bitch crazy

suck suck plasma baby
taste it
taste that bitch crazy

suck suck plasma baby
taste it
taste that bitch crazy

I want your blood and
I want your revenge
I want your blood
I don't wanna be friends

I want your blood and
I want your revenge
You and me could write a magic trance
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oooh!
I want your blood and
All your bloodrs' revenge
You and me could write a magic trance

Oh-oh-oh-oh-oooh-oh-oh-oooh-oh-oh-oh-oh!
Want your magic trance
(Caught in a magic trance)
Want your magic trance

Oh-oh-oh-oh-oooh-oh-oh-oooh-oh-oh-oh-oh!
Want your magic trance
(Caught in a magic trance)

Rah-rah-ah-ah-ah-ah!
Roma-roma-mamaa!
Ga-ga-ooh-la-la!
Want your magic trance

[LadyHitchhiker]

Stacy's Mom Parody
"Murphy's Law Has Got it Goin On"

Murphy's Law has got it goin' on
Murphy's Law has got it goin' on
Murphy's Law has got it goin' on
Murphy's Law has got it goin' on

Murphy, will you help me fail out of school?
Murphy will you help me drown in the pool?
Does your mom still have that infected lip?
Is she home or on banana peels did she slip?

You know, I'm not the cautious boy that I used to be
I'm all grown up now, baby can't you see

Murphy's Law has got it goin' on
It's what I taunt when everything's going wrong
Murphy can't you see, that you're not the law for me?
I know it might be wrong, but my world is run by Murphy's law.

Murphy's Law has got it goin' on
Murphy's Law has got it goin' on

Do you remember when my toes were eaten by prawn?
Or my ear was shot off by a paintball gun?
I can tell that you're just a little scared.
And the way you say "You can stand over THERE."

And I know that you think it's only luck you see
But ever since I crossed that black cat's path, Murphy's following me!

Murphy's Law has got it goin' on
It's what I taunt when everything's going wrong
Murphy can't you see, that you're not the law for me?
I know it might be wrong, but my world is run by Murphy's law.

[LadyHitchhiker]

Ohio (Come Back to Texas) parody
Come Back to Kingsford

He said he needed a break
A little time to think
But then he went to Houston
With some gal named Rooster
That he met at the bank

There's nothing wrong with the south now
Except the bugs and the heat
I really like NASA
And I'd love to see the Dallas Cowboys compete

So when you're done doing whatever
And when you're through screwing whoever
Dickinson County will be right here waiting for you....

Come back to Kingsford
Its just not the same since you went away
Before you get an accent
And forget about the Wolverine State
There's a seat for you at the flivver game
And we can go watch the sweet bat cave
Besides the Mexican food sucks more than here anyway

I think I made a mistake
Its not that easy to take
He went to make a deposit
Then he cleaned out his closet
Guess I'll sit here and wait

For him to come back home (I'd wish you come back home)
It shouldn't take very long (so long so long)
I bet he misses the snow now
And all of the milk cows but I could be wrong

So when you're done doing whatever
And when you're through screwing whoever
Dickinson County will be right here waiting for you....

Come back to Kingsford
Its just not the same since you went away
I bet you missed your exit
And drove right through the the Wolverine State
There's a seat for you at the flivver game
And I've got every slow dance saved
Besides the Mexican food sucks more than here anyway

Da Yoopers want you back
J. C. Penney's wants you back
Monette's wants you back
And the Flivvers want you back
Trico wants you back
And BK wants you back

I got a premonition
I'm taking a petition
And the U. P.'s gonna sign

Come back to Kingsford
Its just not the same since you went away
Before you get an accent
And forget about the Wolverine State
There's a seat for you at the flivver game
And we can go watch the sweet bat cave

Come back to Kingsford
Its just not the same since you went away
Before you get an accent
And forget about the Wolverine State
There's a seat for you at the flivver game
And we can go watch the sweet bat cave
Besides the Mexican food sucks more than here anyway
Besides the Mexican food sucks more than here anyway
Besides the Mexican food sucks more than here anyway

[LadyHitchhiker]

Parody of J'Lo's "On the Floor"
WARNING: This one's JUST about sex! In case you can't handle it!
Heyo!

It's a new generation
Of sexy people

Darling have sex on the floor
Darling have sex on the floor

Let me introduce you to my sexy people
All in love...

I’m loose
And everybody knows I get off on the train
Baby it’s the truth
I take possession, I play with your brain
So I don’t sleep I snooze
I don’t play no games so don’t get it confused no
Cos you will lose yeah
Now pump it up
And back it up like a Tonka truck

If you get hard you gotta get have sex on the floor
If you’re a party freak then have sex on the floor
If you're an animal then have sex on the floor
Break a sweat have sex on the floor
Yeah we work, we have sex on the floor
Don’t stop keep it moving
Put your drinks up
Pick your body up and drop it, have sex on the floor
Let the rhythm change, your world have sex on the floor
You know we’re running sh*t tonight have sex on the floor
Brazil Morocco
London to Ibiza
Straight to LA, New York
Vegas to Africa

[Chorus]
Fuck the night away
Live your life ,and stay young have sex on the floor
Fuck the night away
Grab somebody drink a little more
Lalalalalalalalalalalalalala
Tonight we gon’ be it have sex on the floor
Jennifer Lopez have sex on the floor
Lalalalalalalalalalalalalala
Tonight we gon’ be havin' sex on the floor

[Verse 2]
I know you got it, clap your hands, have sex on the floor
And keep on rockin’, rock it up have sex on the floor
If you’re a criminal kill it, have sex on the floor
Steal it quick have sex on the floor, have sex on the floor
Don’t stop keep it moving
Put your drinks up
You're getting ill, you're getting sick, have sex on the floor
We never quit, we never rest have sex on the floor
If I ain’t wrong we’ll probably die, have sex on the floor
Brazil Morocco
London to Ibiza
Straight to LA, New York
Vegas to Africa


Dance the night away
Live your life, and stay young have sex on the floor
Dance the night way
Grab somebody drink a little more
Lalalalalalalalalalalalalala
Tonight we gon’ be it have sex on the floor
Lalalalalalalalalalalalalala
Tonight we gon’ be it have sex on the floor

That badonka donk is like a trunk full of bass on an old school Chevy
All I need is some loving and some… stroke
And watch… don't get wrnoged
… if you’re ready for things to get heavy
I get to have sex on the floor and act a fool if you let me
Don’t believe me just pet me
My name ain’t Keath but I see why you Sweat me
L.A. Miami New York
Say no more get have sex on the floor

Lalalalalalalalalalalalalala
Tonight we gon’ be having sex on the floor
Lalalalalalalalalalalalalala
Tonight we gon’ be having sex on the floor
Lalalalalalalalalalalalalala
Tonight we gon’ be having sex on the floor

[LadyHitchhiker]

Piggly Wiggly (in the tune of Eleanor Rigby) (5-18-2011)

Ah, look at all the angry people.
Ah, look at all the angry people.

Piggly Wiggly picks up the pieces where his life has been,
Was it a dream?
Waits for her to show, waiting to berate her the moment she steps through the door.
And why for?

All the angry people.
Where do they all come from?
All the angry people.
Where do they all belong?

His wife is writing the words of a poem that he will never hear
It's perfectly clear.
look at him working. Drinking at night when there's nobody there.
What does he care?

All the angry people.
Where do they all come from?
All the angry people.
Where do they all belong?

Ah, look at all the angry people.
Ah, look at all the angry people.

Piggly Wiggly died and was cursed for his legacy and his name,
nobody came.
Dear little wifey wiping her hands from the dirt of being his slave.
Now she is brave.

All the angry people.
Where do they all come from?
All the angry people.
Where do they all belong?

[LadyHitchhiker]

For Jon :wub: Sorry it took so long...

C'mon Get Happy Parody, about our dear trash can man:
Ain't That Happy Crappy?

Forget your troubles ain't that happy crappy?,
you better burn all your troubles away
Shout hallejulah ain't that happy crappy?
get ready for the judgement day.

the buildings are burning ain't that happy crappy?,
The walking dude is ready to take your hand
shout hallejulah ain't that happy crappy?,
we're going to Cibola, the promise land

We're headin across the desert to
wash your sins away from your mind
it's all so peaceful on the other side.

Forget your troubles ain't that happy crappy?,
you better chase all your cares away.
shout hallejulah ain't that happy crappy?,
get ready for the judgement day.

Forget your troubles ain't that happy crappy?
chase ya cares away.
hallelu get happy,
before the judgement day.

the buildings are burning ain't that happy crappy?,
The walking dude is ready to take your hand
shout hallejulah ain't that happy crappy?,
we're going to Cibola, the promise land

We're headin across the desert to
wash your sins away from your mind
it's all so peaceful on the other side.

forget your past, ain't that happy crappy?
Watch the world burn away.
shout hallejulah get happy get ready for your judgement day.

ain't that happy crappy?,
chase your cares away.
shout hallejulah cmon get happy,
get ready for the judgment day

the buildings are burning ain't that happy crappy?,
The walking dude is ready to take your hand
shout hallejulah ain't that happy crappy?,
we're going to Cibola, the promise land

We're headin across the desert to
wash your sins away from your mind
it's all so peaceful on the other side.

forget your past, ain't that happy crappy?
Watch the world burn away.
shout hallejulah get happy get ready for your judgement day.

[LadyHitchhiker]

Alejandro Parody
Wally-Asshole (6-3-1)

From Black back to Young
And you said you loved me
But I just can't be with you ever anymore.
Wally-Asshole.

I took you, man
out of my locket.
And I won't look at you
Won't look at you

I want true love
Not a placebo.
I took the ring off of my finger.
Astounds you.

You don't know true love boy.
And now I have a choice.
At this point when I choose,
nothing to lose.

Don't call my name.
Don't call my name, Wally-Asshole.
I'm not your babe.
I'm not your babe, Fernando.

Don't wanna kiss, don't wanna touch.
Just want my cigarette rush
Don't call my name.
Don't call my name, you Asshole.

Wally-Asshole.
Wally-Asshole.
Wally-Wally-Asshole
Wally-Wally-Asshole [2x]

(Just stop. Please. Just let me go. Wally-Asshole. Just let me go.)

I'm not broken.
I'm not your baby.
I need my man to be my friend, not like a dad, or to be bad
And how my soul flamed before you.
Now I've got back my fight, and it's not bad.

You don't know true love boy.
And now I have a choice.
At this point when I choose,
nothing to lose.

Don't say my name.
Don't say my name, Wally-Asshole.
I'm not your babe.
Never your babe, you Asshole.

Don't want your kiss, don't want your touch.
Just want my cigarette rush
Don't say my name.
Don't say my name, you Asshole

Wally-Asshole.
Wally-Asshole.
Wally-Wally-Asshole
Wally-Wally-Asshole [2x]

Don't bother me.
Don't bother me. Wally-Asshole
Don't say my name.
Don't say my name, you Asshole.

I'm not your babe.
I'm not your babe, Wally-Asshole.

Don't want your kiss, don't want your touch.
Don't say my name.
Don't say my name, Wally-Asshole.
I'm not your babe.
Never your babe, you Asshole.

Don't want your kiss, don't want your touch.
Just want my cigarette rush
Don't say my name.
Don't say my name, Asshole

Wally-Asshole.
Wally-Asshole.
Wally-Wally-Asshole
Wally-Wally-Asshole [2x]

Don't call my name.
Don't call my name, Wally-Asshole.
I'm not your babe.
Never your babe, you Asshole.

Don't want your kiss, don't want your touch.
Just want my cigarette rush
Don't say my name.
Don't say my name, you Asshole

Wally-Asshole.

[LadyHitchhiker]

Flood parody
Blood (6-3-11)

Pain, pain in my face
I haven't stopped hurting for days
All I need is blood
Slowly I return to the mud

Chorus:


But if I can't feed after forty days
And my mind is smashed, turned into a slave
Fill me up so full that I cannot kill
Fill me up
Fill me up - when I'm calling
Fill me up - I'm weak and I'm dying
Lift me up - I need you to feed me
Lift me up - Keep me from frowning again

Gave up my soul,
Throw me in the ocean, to regain control
Dark days all around
With light I go back under ground


[Chorus]

Calm the thirst that holds my eyes
Keep the veins flowing
Forgive me for my latest sin
And guilt that overthrows me


[Chorus]


Fill me up - when I'm falling
Fill me up - I'm weak and I'm dying
Lift me up - I need you to control me
Lift me up - Keep me from frowning again

[LadyHitchhiker]

Android of the Mourning (to tune of Angel of the Morning)
I don’t mean to bring you down
But there’s no joy left in my heart
Yes, with the biggest brain in the land
I know the ship will surely start
I see no reason to light electric sheep
I'm old enough to face the dark.

Just call me android of the mourning, android!
Just tweak my diodes before you leave me, Zaphod.
Just call me android of the mourning, android!
Let’s not talk about life anyway.

Maybe the suns will all explode
and it won't matter anyhow.
Rusting away, just copper and diodes
Well, I knew it would happen anyhow
And if there are no sheep to light the night
You won’t be astounded, I’m still bright

Just call me android of the mourning, android!
Just tweak my diodes before you leave me, Zaphod.
Just call me android of the mourning, android!
Let’s not talk about life anyway.

I won't beg you to stay with me
though I’m awfully depressed
Sitting for centuries, Zaphod, Zaphod, Zaphod.
Just call me android of the mourning, android!
Let’s not talk about life anyway.

[Merlin1958]

Here's an appropriate parody. If anyone feels differently, you're just lying to yourself!!!! DEAL WITH IT!


LOL LOL LOL


http://www.youtube.com/thefinebros#p/search/4/j1PAB6Sgdp8

[LadyHitchhiker]

Oooooooooooh! I'd never seen that one before! :) All the ones I've posted have been written by me, though... Got any, Merlin?

[Merlin1958]

Oops, so sorry. Just popped in and went by the thread title. My bad!!

[LadyHitchhiker]

:) You're perfectly fine! :) Still wondering; do you have any???? :excited:

[Merlin1958]

No can't say I do, but I'll see about possibly developing one for ya. Just cause you're such a darn nice lady!!!!!


:huglove:

[LadyHitchhiker]

Wheeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!! I'm so excited! :excited: :huglove:

Please post them in this thread if you do! :)

[mystima]

i found this one today....


http://youtu.be/uE-1RPDqJAY