Gyps Goes to High School Reunion

[Gyps]

Sup guys, it's me, Gyps.

So I'm just sittin around one Friday night, flippin through a Dark Tower comic on the toilet, flexin my muscles in the miror and remember O SHIT high-school reunion tomorrow I gotta go get a haircut. The woman is all hollerin and yellin that I got to leave the house on a Friday and miss NEW DAWN. Just shove my hand in her face and slam her head against the wall as I strut all gangstuh out of the house.

Get outside a disgustin bums all like, "U GAWWT 10 CENTSss mussster?" Drool all fallin from his mouth, drunk as usual... I lower my aviators so he knows how serious I am, "Shit bruh, I was about to ask YOU for 10 cents. Get outta my sight, Tiffany"... He all falls down on the ground and crawls away when he sees my biceps bulging from my v-neck tshirt. So I continue walkin up the block in step with the beat to the Tupac song playin in my head radio.

Get to the barber shop and the sally inside is all like, "CANNN I HELLLPPP you cutie?" Considering he's a man, I don't p lay that shit.. I slam two fingers into his A-cups and send him sprawlin backwards. He trips over an old broad sittin in a chair and starts cryin and shit... Walk over to him, slowly take the aviators off my face so he knows I'm serious, u know? "Look here Miss Jackson... I want a haircut like this cuz I'm going to a reunion." I take out the crumbled Dark Tower comic from my back pocket and show the guy Roland. So I get all ROland'd up and start walkin out and he's like "WAAAIIIIITTTT you HAVE to payyy for it!!!" I all just turn around, lift my massive arm and point at him with the finger... I'm all screamin like, "ALL THINGS SERVE THE FUCKING BEAM" He runs and locks himself in the managers closet uknow...

I go home and get in my best suit. I make sure its tight so my pects intimidate all the pussy-ass bitches that get in my way u know. Walk out the door, get on my Schawn unicycle and slowly start pedaling towards the high-school... Sunlight followin me everywhere I go even in the shadows of the buildings. Guess I'll tell u what happened when I got there later... Cuz this is all true u know?

[Merlin1958]

Actutally You are an "Ass"

[Brice]

IF this is all true you should probably consider that how you treat people has a direct reflection on how you will be treated. I'm not trying to be a dick, but you're not exactly portraying yourself as a very good person here.

[Jean]

this thread will soon be merged or moved

[Gyps]

Totally true... You couldn't tell? Haters going to hate awesomesauce.


this thread will soon be merged or moved
What's the fun in that?! Just telling my totally true story... People are my friends.

[Jean]

Very good. A story rarely warrants its own thread, though, unless it is fiction. If it is, I will move it to Turtleback Lane. If its purpose is just telling us what is on your mind, it will be merged with In Your Mind Right Now thread. Which do you prefer?

[Brice]

I reccommend a merging with the insecurely asinine thread.

[Gyps]

lol @ Brice... Turtleback please, Jean. Oh hey, did I tell you guys when I go caving in the summertime like... I don't even need a flashlight because my aura is so bright when I strut around... Another true story.

Yo Brice, wanna go out this weekend? Get some girls?

[Brice]

So, what was your username over at .net, Gyps?

[Gyps]

Really man? lol... Please don't make me say.

[Jean]

ok, moved

I recommend that you post Pt.2, should there be one, and all the rest of it, in the same thread, it will be easier for your reader to trace. If you choose to do so, please tell me and I will remove the "Pt.1" from the title.

[Gyps]

Sure thing, Jean... Thx. See? At least JEAN wants a part 2, lmao...

[Jean]

well, I definitely wouldn't like parts 2, 3, etc ad infinitum to be scattered all over the place

[Gyps]

:evil: Glad you told me because that's EXACTLY what I was going to do

[Brice]

Really man? lol... Please don't make me say.

Really! I can't make you. I'm just curious. You seem familiar. You can PM me to answer if you like. I understand if you're too meek or shy to post it publicly. :)

[Gyps]

Really man? lol... Please don't make me say.

Really! I can't make you. I'm just curious. You seem familiar. You can PM me to answer if you like. I understand if you're too meek or shy to post it publicly. :)

*SIGH* Fine... I was Skeet... And sure enough, I had a fanbase. The sig people even made me a free animated signature of a little sperm swimming with that lil john song flashing across the screen, was pretty awesomesauce.

But I didn't get a fanbase by being 'the nice guy'... Oh, and I was a riddle-MASTER too, lol. I just like to bring a little-fun and an odd-twist to forumin'.

[Brice]

Aha! I do believe I recall you. The pic is definitely familiar.

[Gyps]

Hard to forget a name like that, eh? hahaha. Yeah, I've used this avatar since like... the 90's? Who were you on .net?

[Jean]

there are a number of threads, both in Dixie Pig and Blue Heaven, meant for off-topic talks. The present thread is solely for discussing the title story/stories.

Thank you.

[Brice]

most commonly quiddityquest

...along with about ten other names there. We don't really do the multiple accounts thing here though.

Sorry Jean!

[Gyps]

My bad, Jean... You the boss. We'll reminesce elsewhere.

[Randall Flagg]

Sup guys, it's me, Gyps.

So I'm just sittin around one Friday night, flippin through a Dark Tower comic on the toilet, flexin my muscles in the miror and remember O SHIT high-school reunion tomorrow I gotta go get a haircut. The woman is all hollerin and yellin that I got to leave the house on a Friday and miss NEW DAWN. Just shove my hand in her face and slam her head against the wall as I strut all gangstuh out of the house.

Get outside a disgustin bums all like, "U GAWWT 10 CENTSss mussster?" Drool all fallin from his mouth, drunk as usual... I lower my aviators so he knows how serious I am, "Shit bruh, I was about to ask YOU for 10 cents. Get outta my sight, Tiffany"... He all falls down on the ground and crawls away when he sees my biceps bulging from my v-neck tshirt. So I continue walkin up the block in step with the beat to the Tupac song playin in my head radio.

Get to the barber shop and the sally inside is all like, "CANNN I HELLLPPP you cutie?" Considering he's a man, I don't p lay that shit.. I slam two fingers into his A-cups and send him sprawlin backwards. He trips over an old broad sittin in a chair and starts cryin and shit... Walk over to him, slowly take the aviators off my face so he knows I'm serious, u know? "Look here Miss Jackson... I want a haircut like this cuz I'm going to a reunion." I take out the crumbled Dark Tower comic from my back pocket and show the guy Roland. So I get all ROland'd up and start walkin out and he's like "WAAAIIIIITTTT you HAVE to payyy for it!!!" I all just turn around, lift my massive arm and point at him with the finger... I'm all screamin like, "ALL THINGS SERVE THE FUCKING BEAM" He runs and locks himself in the managers closet uknow...

I go home and get in my best suit. I make sure its tight so my pects intimidate all the pussy-ass bitches that get in my way u know. Walk out the door, get on my Schawn unicycle and slowly start pedaling towards the high-school... Sunlight followin me everywhere I go even in the shadows of the buildings. Guess I'll tell u what happened when I got there later... Cuz this is all true u know?
Horrible spec fiction.

[Gyps]

So anyway, I'm like pedalin to the reunion. Standin in a shadow but the sunlights beamin through at me making me look all tan and fly. Maybe its just my aura but I like that shit. Headin down the sidewalk and it starts rainin. Of course when it rains, I'm really too awesome to get wet. See this little punk bitch college kid carryin an umbrella and I gank it from him while ridin my unicycle. He's all hollerin at me, I'm laughin, hollerin back and shit as I keep movin forward. I call my friend G-BOMB up and I'm like "Yo, Your punk-ass going to the reunion?" He's all like, "YOOOOO GYPS, YOU THE MAN SON". He knows what's up. I start laughin to myself about that time I shoved G-Bombs bitch-ass in the drying machine for bein such a pussy.

G-Bomb: "See you there, Gyps... I LOVE you MAN!"

Me: "Fagasaur, son."

Finally get to the reunion... Walk inside my old highschool past the pussy-ass security guards... and the ladies are already starin... It's the ROland haircut I got and the umbrella strapped to my back like a fuckin samurai sword. I'm ready to throw down and get laid tonight while the old lady watches glittering 100 old vampires who try to bang tweens. This girls are all runnin up to me, leavin teir dates just to say hi.

Cassie: "WOW, your haircut is AWESOME. How have you BEEN?"

Alexandra: "Take me HOME tonight! My date has acne and smells like a penguin".

I'm n ot payin attention to these broads cuz I'm too busy starin at their sweet-ass tits. Suddenly I'm interrupted by a drunken idiot.

G-BOMB: "GYYYYYPPPPSSSSS. What's up BRUHHHH?!" I'm all lookin at the Pepsi MAX can in his hand and he has the nerve to pretend he's drunk as fuck to get in my cool books.

GYPS: *Grabs him by the shirt-collar* "Look here, u wannabe asshole. I'm tryn ta get laid tonight. If you f uck this up for me I swear to GOD I'll beat your ass and put you back in the dryer. U GOT IT?"

G-BOMB: "Ok, Ok relax bro. It's only a pepsi-max can. I found it in the rubbish bin. It doesn't even have PEPSI in it. U KNOW I'm allergic to PEPSI man!"

About now the girls are all laughin and throwing strawberries at G-Bomb's head. He's all embarrased and has tears in his eyes. I'm all back laughin with the girls tellin em about the time I hooked up with G's mom. Cassie reaches down and grabs me down below... So I jump back and use my brella to unstrap that bra of hers, zorro style and check out her fine tits. Took a pic with my phone and sent it to my boy LiL-T. He sent a text back hollerin and shit...

Security sees me and starts comin after me quick. I couldn't take them all on so I had to run upstairs to the rooftop. G-BOmb say me and wanted to buy me some time for his drunk wannabe act and throws a can of pop at the main security guards head. Soda's all flyin over everybody as the dude falls and his face smashes the floor and shit. People are runnin. He musta injured ten people or so with that throw, their all fallin down, getting stomped. Some are prolly wounded for life. POlice showed up and beat G-BOmb down, cuffed him and shit. It took everything in me not to laugh at him. I finally get to the top and am surrounded by security. There's NOWHERE to go. It was too far to leap over to the next building, u know? I had to find a way to get outta there or else I was gonna get anal raped in the cells of Baltimore. Not the place of my career. PUssy ass security lunging at me and I'm wackin em off the roof with my umbrella one by one, some LUke Skywalker shit... I look down and see the channel one news taping me and shit... I did what I had to do...

I open up the brella and jump from the rooftop, glide to the nearest building and land safely. Watching Merry Popin when I was a kid really helped me out this time. Bitch-ass security guards all waving their fists at me. I'm just laughin and hollerin and shit. I see a bathroom window nearby with an awesome chick havin a shower. Prolly had double Z tits or some shit... I sneak in, and proceed to get a nice BJ. :onfire:

[Flygrl]

YOU ARE CRAZY! :lol1:

[OchrisO]

http://i54.photobucket.com/albums/g118/polkacore/trollface.jpg

[Randall Flagg]

That was hilarious.

[OchrisO]

The story or the trollface? haha.

[Shannon]

Oh. My. God. This was very amusing, I'm sad to say, lol.