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Emily
08-29-2010, 03:13 PM
I don't know what the hell just happened. I was looking at pictures of anglerfish on google image and I just got this idea for a poem and it like spewed out of me. I could barely type as fast as I was thinking it. It's really random and not serious but whatever I'm gonna post it anyway.


A Shark In The Dark
Once upon a time there was a shark
Who was really afraid of the dark
At night when the sun went down
His toothy grin turned to a toothy frown
He wished for someone to turn on a light
And put an end to his terribly plight
He asked his friends, "Can someone help me?"
But his friends replied, "There are no lights in the sea."
Then one night as he swam the depths,
He noticed a light flicker to his left
He turned and swam in that general direction
And when he reached the object of his affection,
He was delighted to meet an anglerfish
Though the anglerfish did not wish
to make friends with a big scary shark
and he swam away as the shark remarked,
"Wait! I'm not going to eat you,
In fact I'm truly excited to meet you"
The anglerfish was somewhat suspicious
That the sharks intentions were really malicious
But of all things to come from a shark,
he did not expect "I'm afraid of the dark"
"I was wondering if maybe we could be friends?"
And the anglerfish said, "Well that depends...
If you promise to never try and bite,
Then I guess I can share a little light"
The shark had never in his life been happier,
And as if this poem couldn't get any sappier,
They gradually became the best of friends
And that, kind reader is the end



Of my poem.
That's the end of the poem.

Georgie Denbrough
08-29-2010, 03:39 PM
Very nice! Especially since it just spewed out of you, as you said. :thumbsup:

Jean
08-30-2010, 12:21 AM
Tempus, bears love it! this particular part is a masterpiece:

He was delighted to meet an anglerfish
Though the anglerfish did not wish
to make friends with a big scary shark
and he swam away as the shark remarked,
"Wait! I'm not going to eat you,
In fact I'm truly excited to meet you"

Your use of enjambement is delightful, and in the end of the poem it is brilliant.

RainInSpain
08-30-2010, 02:33 AM
Tempus, it's very good! The poem flows nicely, and I love the story.
You've just made me look at sharks from a different perspective :lol:

Emily
08-30-2010, 10:29 AM
:grouphug: Thanks guys! I'm glad you liked it! Maybe I'll start a whole chain of poems about unlikely friends :orely:

As far as sharks go, I'm actually terrified of them and I'm pretty sure their vision is completely different than ours and they probably can't even distinguish between dark and light. Also, I don't know that anglerfish and sharks swim in the same depths because anglerfish swim really really deep. But whatever :lol:

RainInSpain
08-30-2010, 11:27 AM
They terrify me, too - precisely because they are so not human I can't even begin to "anthropomorphize" them.
As to anglerfish and sharks living at different depths - well, that's what we have poetic license for, right :lol:

sai delgado
09-16-2010, 02:35 PM
I like your poem :) which is a lot coming from me, as I'm not usually a great fan of poems that rhyme so much! I think you could get away with removing the line 'And as if this poem couldn't get any sappier', I think your poem would be stronger without it.

'The anglerfish was somewhat suspicious
That the sharks intentions were really malicious
But of all things to come from a shark,
he did not expect "I'm afraid of the dark" '

I like this bit the best :)

John Blaze
09-17-2010, 07:33 AM
Emmy, this is hilarious. You should make it a children's book. Seriously, I'd buy it for the kiddos.

Emily
09-17-2010, 09:37 AM
Thanks you guys! I got the idea and then mostly wrote it to make my brothers laugh :lol: I'm glad you like it!!:huglove:

Euryon
10-24-2010, 11:22 AM
It's exactly the sort of thing that ought to be used in text-books for secondary (high) school kids learning the technical bollocks of poetry. Now, that's meant to be a compliment.

Why?

As has been stated above; use of technical devices is spot-on.
The plot, so to speak, is original, humourous, and cat-in-the-hat-ish (don't know who wrote those books, but i'm sure you see what I mean).
Favourite of all, though, is that you spat it out. Best way, I think. Of the few poems I've written, they all just plopped out. I refined them after - and in fact my 'best' poem still needs major work - but they came out a little cathartically.

So, for what my opinion is worth, good show.